Family members thinking it’s odd I still contact nap

[brownbutterfrangipanetart]

I have a 5m baby and at night she goes in side cot for her sleep, but during day I struggle to do naps that aren’t contact naps (unless on a walk in sling)

every time family sees me doing this (mainly my mother and mil), they say why can’t you put baby down etc, and you should be putting baby down so you don’t need to be stuck sitting down.

then they encourage me to try putting her down once I’ve got her to sleep, at which point she always wakes up and starts crying!

is contact napping not typical at 5 months? Should I be encouraging baby to do more independent naps?

any advice appreciated!

I contact napped with mine every sleep. Just before he was due for a nap I'd use the loo and make a drink and snack, get my iPad and chill with him asleep on me xx

Oh come off it.
she has not ‘trained’ them to contact nap, it’s a natural thing for babies to want to remain close to mum. Some people want to cherish those naps and cuddles, others would rather get them in a cot and have the spare time it’s totally preference but please stop making out as if contact naps are wrong.
OP mine contact napped in the day until 6 month old then suddenly grew out of it. I miss those naps now. She also slept through from 5 months coming

@Floooooof yes from observation some babies will nod off to sleep easier like your second - different temperaments but some think their experience will be the same as others

@Flittingaboutagain yep I have nct group who are following similar approaches so they’re great to talk to - even if they follow different approach they do not seem to judge

@Soonenough yes its definitely from the angle of wanting to help, there’s no malicious intent

@letsgojo i do the same, do a pre bathroom and drink prep before settling down!

I exclusively contact napped until 5 months when she started sleeping the pram. We moved to 2-3 contact naps with a long nap in the pram. At first I found those pram naps much harder on the me than the contact naps. Eventually I adapted my routine and took coffee, snacks and podcasts and enjoyed my walks.
At 10 months we went into hospital and by then she I could get her into the cot which allowed me to access support. This wouldn't have been possible earlier

DS contact napped til he was past 1 (although he would sleep happily in the pram/car). Enjoy it, I miss it now he naps in his cot

Aw, I have lovely memories of their little mouths fluttering during contact naps. Falling asleep with one arm stretched out like Superman.

Do whatever suits you, there's no right or wrong.

Mine still contact naps at 2.5. I'll be sad when she stops

I contact napped with DD until she was 2 and dropped her nap at nursery.

I love a contact nap! My first did till 11 months, then started cot napping no bother at all, and my second is currently 8 months and still contact napping. I love having a little cuddly pause to watch TV or catch up on emails or something. They've both always slept fine in their cots too - I hate cosleeping as I can't sleep properly, so minimised that.

I'm sure you don't mean it that way but I really don't like this creation of a tribal mentality when it comes to early childhood stuff, and especially those rather arrogant assumption that it is the baby wearing gentle parenting breastfeeders who are Good. I'm into the teenage years and let me tell you, its all fucking hard for every 'tribe' of parent and the kind of smug assumption that one sub set of parents of one generation have found the answers and will produce lovely healthy kind children is just that, an assumption. Outside of extremists of all kinds (be it anti-vaxxers, strict disciplinarian or religious fanatics or other types) most people are muddling through as best they can and adapting as they go along to suit their child and yes, themselves. Nothing at all wrong with the latter.

They had their time to raise children how they saw fit, now it’s our turn.

It's not so much a case of how they saw fit, or what you now see fit, rather the advice/trend at the time. You didn't just decide to have your baby lie on you for naps - someone has called this contact napping and now it has become a thing that,presumably, new parents are expected to do.

I had one of those babies that just wouldn’t be put down - ever basically but certainly not for naps. She coslept till well over 2 and contact napped till she stopped napping altogether - only exception were moving prams or car she’d sleep then.

It was a pain in the arse sometimes (although yes the cliche is true I do miss those snuggle naps now) but not enough to persevere with the sheet torture of trying to enforce cot/ independent naps and ending up with a hysterical overtired baby/ toddler as a result. Although looking back she was the very definition of a Velcro baby, I also think we had it fairly easy in some respects because as long as she was being held by another human or in some kind of moving transport she was really chilled and happy so we just did the contact thing and made everyone’s life easier.

I think the one positive of her being a lockdown baby (and there weren’t many!) was there wasn’t really anyone around to comment or question how I was doing things. Also being an older mum at 40 I think I escaped quite a lot of ‘well meaning’ advice somehow.

Shes 3 now and if I try to lie on her bed for a cuddle she’ll humour me for a minute then say ‘mummy I can’t go to sleep with you there, can you move please’.

Do whatever works for you. They've no place to be telling you what you "should" be doing.

What they should be doing is respecting and supporting your decision.

I get that they raised children, but they raised children in a very different time. Advice and attitudes were very different to today so their opinions are dated.

One day your child will decide they won't need a contact nap and you may even miss it but until then, do what works for you!

Wow, you're a delight, aren't you.

Eh? We still did it, we just didn't call it "contact napping", it was just called "letting the baby sleep on you."

It doesn't work for everyone and that's fine. We are all different.

It's upto you as you are the Mother, not them. Unsolicited 'advice' is passive aggressive IMO.

@AliasGrape yes that’s the issue, every time I try and enforce the independent nap, I end up with an overtired v fussy baby so I pick my battles and see the upside that it’s some enforced rest and it seems to be working for us overall :)

Mine exclusively contact napped until around 9 months old then he transitioned to napping in his cot within a few days. It's no one else's business but your own, but my mum and MIL had the same attitude!

How annoying of them. Just smile and change the subject if they mention it again. I get this with my partners family and it drives me internally bananas.

I do nothing at all when mine naps. It's good for you to rest. When she is awake "we" do housework and cooking and in this way I'm always on top of everything. You don't need elaborate toys or games to entertain them.

I loved contact naps with mine, can't remember what age it stopped but sometime after a year.
I was (sometimes) prepared with a cup of tea and my ipad and it was a lovely cosy way to just stop, cuddle and rest.
Needing a wee in the middle of the nap - not quite so relaxing.

Tell them to bore off

OP- id just like to know how you got on? I know your baby will be alot older now but when did they grow out of contact napping??did you do anything to help it?

as i am in the same position as you were with my 4 month old now!

thankyou! From a nap trapped mum!

Contact naps can cause sleep issues further down the line. Having said that my three year old loves a weekend contact nap and happily goes to bed on her own sleeping through

Hi @Sahmcharlie i felt it was time to try transition away from contact naps at 6 months - at that stage we had moved her to her own room in her own cot. Since she was used to contact naps and would wake anytime I tried to pop her down, it was a bit of a transition period to get her used to the cot.

we sleep trained at that point but I appreciate that’s not for everyone.

I found timing of the naps were important - ensuring she was tired enough to drop off to sleep. I did white noise for a bit and a bit of a routine leading up the the nap.

good luck!