Leaving 15 year old at home

[yetanotherdaytoday]

Is a sensible 15 year old too young to be at home alone for a night, as a one off?

DH has to take MIL to hospital 300 miles away and I need to be at work in the next town, to run an event, on a day with train strikes. My youngest can go to her friends but I don't have anywhere to send my DS.

DS is suggesting I leave him at home. I'm tempted. I was up to all sorts at his age, he's a good kid and very very sensible in comparison!

I don't drive and therefore wouldn't make it back till breakfast.

If it was a normal day at work I'd just take the day off, but the event can't run without me.

Is it madness to consider this? I'm not sure what else to do. My couple of friends who I could usually call on for favours just can't help that day.

WWYD?

I wouldn't. I have a 15 year old Ds. My worry is he'd forget to lock up, leave electronics on overnight, cook and not turn the hob off etc. But that's because my ds is absent minded. Yours might be very different

Do you have family/friends/neighbour nearby? My friends neighbour (directly opposite) leaves their kids 11 and 13 and my friend has them for tea and if they’re worried they stop with her. (Out of order IMO but not my decision).

It's a bit OTT, especially when you consider they could be in a full-time job at 16, or off to Uni completely independently at 17.
Even lots of care leavers used to get given flats at 16 and expected to manage their budgets etc.

Like lots of things use some common sense, or put yourself in the Dock, would you happily stand up in court and defend your decision "Yes ma Lord, I believed my child was mature enough to be home alone overnight. He had food, I called multiple times, has a tracker on his phone"

I don't think you can compare 11 & 13 regularly left, and the dangers of people getting to know there are vulnerable kids home alone, to a one off and a 15yo.

I wasn’t attempting to - I was just providing context as to the “Do you have any family/friends/neighbours” question. If OP can mimic the arrangement I have described I’d say that’s probably ok with a 15 year old. If she lives in the middle of nowhere (like me, I have no neighbours for about 1 mi radius) it’s different again.

Why would it be madness to consider this?

Your kid can live on their own in a year. Its your job as a parent to prepare them to be independant adults capable of living alone.

I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't leave a 15yo I'd raised, alone overnight.

Not really.

They say u16 knowing full well there are circumstances where DC would be fine younger than this. Most 15 yos are going to be safe and won't find it either scary or lonely.

But if for example they said instead 13, then there could be quite a lot of miserable 13 yos who aren't quite ready being left anyhow "because NSPCC says it's OK" plus of course those who aren't yet 13 but whose parents think they're as capable as a 13yo despite being only 12, 11, or even younger.

Personally, I wouldn’t.

Will it be a school night? If not, could he come with you and stay at your friend’s house?

It is absolutely bonkers.

OP, I would leave him. He's sensible, he's happy to stay home alone, there's neighbours he can turn to if there's a problem, you can video call him for peace of mind, and he's nearly old enough to move out and live by himself if he wanted to so he ought to be able to handle one night alone.

As you say your DS is sensible and quite happy to be left overnight, plus you have a couple of neighbours who he could contact in case of emergencies, I would say do it. Just make sure he knows to switch off all electronics overnight, that he knows how the heating timers work and that he will get himself up for school the next day. Remind him to make sure front and back doors are locked, leave him some snacks and a meal he can heat up easily, and check in with him by phone. Should be fine.

I was left on my own for a couple of days and nights when I was 13, it was an emergency, I was a very sensible child and everything was fine. TBH I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

OP has said that it is mid week.

I'd say he would be fine. Ask your neighbours to pop in late evening and just check everything is ok or you can make a deal he can stay home if you call him X times and he has to answer just for safety. At 15 he knows the emergency number, he knows how to get out the house and knows to go to a neighbours house for help.

I would leave him. My ds is now 16 but I'd have been comfortable leaving him at 15 as a one off. He's a sensible kid and I trust he can be alone safely. That wouldn't stop me worrying and checking in constantly 🤣

If you good local neighbours, ask them if they could be on call for emergencies. He should be fine.

OP only you know your own child and whether they are sensible enough to be left. I would absolutely leave mine, and I was left myself as a 15yo lots of times. I dont see the issue if DS is happy to be left and you can trust him

I think if you have nice neighbours and they message him and keep an eye out for him it’s absolutely fine. I’d have been ok with it at his age. Buy him some lovely snacks and check out taxis just in case! Or maybe work would go halves on a taxi home?

I think that’s fine. I was babysitting overnight at that age!

Absolutely fine if he's a sensible kid. I was babysitting at that age and stayed overnight looking after other people's kids when parents came back the next day numerous times. If you're a normal sensible kid, got some back up phone numbers for emergencies, set him up with a pizza or whatever, genuinely, it's totally fine.

I'd leave him if he was sensible. Tell a close friend or neighbour, give him their number, give him the third degree about turning everything off and locking the doors, ring him before bed and first thing in the morning (to wake him up!)

My parents left me for 10 days when I was 14....different times

I think as the suggestion is coming from DS and he is fine with it, then it will be fine to leave him. If they were at all reluctant then I'd say no.

you have to wonder what the point is of guidance which is not actually meant to be applied to every situation. The people who will leave a 13 year old will do it anyway, and there are many people who take NSPCC guidance as gospel/law and don't trust their own judgement.

I think it's fine - he's comfortable with it, he's sensible, there are nice neighbours.

I'd just make sure you chat to the neighbours and make sure they are available if needed, leave him a list of things to remember if he doesn't usually have to "put the house to bed", and have your phone on you and fully charged.

I was also babysitting overnight at that age. I sound ancient but I think kids today need to be trusted more and given more responsibility.

Leave him, ask the neighbours if he can call them if necessary. No idea why other folks on here are so over-protective you do know young people can leave home and be alone 24/7 once they are 16, and cannot be forced back home unless they are deemed to be at risk. In Scotland young people can leave school at 16.

A few people have asked why you can't ask your company to cover the cost of a taxi home (which is fair in these circumstances). It's just another event cost. You've replied to other points in those posts, but not that - is there a reason why you're not asking / answering?