Newborn arriving, what to do with the 3yo?

[pizzanoodle]

Hi everyone,

We have a 3 year old daughter and a baby boy on the way in December (due date 21st December).

Both mine and my partner's parents are overseas and they can't travel due to various reasons.

So the question is: should we send our older one to her grandparents for 3 weeks (or longer)?

The alternative is that we have a newborn and a 3yo to take care of at the same time. While I'm sure many people have done that before, our 3yo is prone to flus and colds and we're worried that she might pass it to the newborn. The other consideration is that I will have a c section this time due to various reasons (natural delivery the first time), and therefore recovery might be more prolonged and so it might be easier to have 1 baby to take care of instead of 2.

The downside of having the 3yo away is that she would be away from us for 3 weeks. She's done that before with her grandparents whom she is quite close with. The worry is whether she will find it more difficult to adjust to having a little brother when she comes back from her grandparents'. If she stayed with us all the time perhaps there's less change to deal with.

Appreciate that it's a long post but would be interesting in your experience and thoughts

Best,
Mel

Christ.

I think everyone else has summed up my sentiments (I am also having a c section next month and have a 3 year old).

Seriously what is the point? Say your newborn avoids catching a cold for 3 weeks. Your DD will come back after 3 weeks, and just get a cold then.

Absolutely ridiculous.

So why don't you like your daughter?

You're being ridiculous. Kids gets colds and all sorts of things whether they're in nursery or not, you stick saline drops up their nose, give calpol if they're old enough and get on with it.

The alternative is that we have a newborn and a 3yo to take care of at the same time

well, yes! This is just what you do!

I cannot imagine why sending your 3 year old abroad for 3 weeks over Christmas seems like a better alternative? That’s an awful plan!

This

I just did my twins c section alone - it was lockdown and had no choice. Recovery was fine. I was home the next day

Please don't send your daughter to her grandparents for the arrival of her brother and Christmas.

I have a photo of me, DS1 and about 3 hour old DS2. OK, I look horrific, but the adoration in DS1s eyes is wonderful, and I love that photo.

Don't exclude your daughter from one of the biggest changes happening in your family.

To whoever said newborns sleep a lot, please can I introduce you to DS1? I tallied it up at one point. 8 hours in 24 sleeping - and nearly all of that was in 40 min blocks. It was horrific, and carried on for about 6 months.

This. Why on earth would you chose to have another. Hold if you don't think you can look after more than. One? Please don't send her away it will traumatise her

This has to be a wind-up surely?
Why the heck are you even imagining that this is a good idea? If you’re serious then I question why on earth you’re having a second dc.
Are you planning to have her back when she’s what? 18 ? to be absolutely sure your second dc doesn’t catch anything from her?
This has to be one of the most effing ridiculous plans I’ve ever read on here.

We're planning on having my parents come to stay to help out with the toddler. My husband has also saved some holiday so he can take two additional weeks off on top of his paternity leave.

I bet this poor little mite will be packed off to boarding school at 7.

I had a two year old when I gave birth last December. I also had a C-section.
I couldn't bare sending her away for 2 days - 1.5hours away, let alone 3 weeks. I needed them close to me!

Honestly, for all the PP’s that have suggest sending DD to nursery, I wouldn’t even do that. I’d spend all the time I could with my children during this crucial moment.
And for everyone who thinks this isn’t real, could maybe real. Perhaps OP has heard way too many horror stories about newborn and young DC.
Good luck OP, hope you make the right decision.

Makes sense. All the time you hear people saying how difficult or awful it is with two young kids! So I understand how you'd consider it isn't possible. But still I agree with everyone here it's in no way better to send them away. The only 'easy' way round it or easier way is help from a nanny, home help,cleaner or relative.