Mums now in their 60s who had children late 30s/40s

[Raaraaaaa9]

Hello,

I have developed an awful anxiety about my age and my children. I had my youngest at 38 and I just get in a panic about how he will only be early 20's when I am in my 60s and potentially won't get to enjoy his adult years for as long as I have had my mum. I worry about getting ill when they are teens and god for bid them having to look after me or their father (3 years older). I am sad that this is how I think and can't enjoy the now. Started councelling but just wondering those of yiu who are in their 60s can give me some positive insights!

Most people are still working in their 60's, and full time for many. You don't hit 60 and become incapable. Equally you can be 25 and have a life limiting illness. I really wouldn't bother about something you can't change.

60s is not old.
People live long lives now.
If you are panicking, it will settle your mind to think and act on how to be healthy now so that you can enjoy more years of fitness when you get to that age, but 60s is not old!

DF was the sane age when they had me and he died just before my 50th. DM is still going strong at 88.

A lot of it is to do with outlook. If you feel and act old you will become aged.

Even if a parent does die on the younger side, it doesn’t detract from the great memories you have of them.
Of course I wish that my Mum had been with me longer, but I’d rather have had her for 25 years than not at all, iyswim.

My partners mum and dad had him at 42/3 they are both still alive in their 80s and amazing.

My mum had me in her later twenties and died in her very early 60s.

Life throws all kinds of curve balls, younger parents don’t always mean we get them longer unfortunately

My mother was 19 when she had me and my father was 20. I'm 42 now and both are dead. Dad died aged 41 and mother was 55. Both very sudden deaths.

DH parents are 71 and 73 and doing well health wise, no issues thankfully and currently on holiday enjoying themselves

Like others have said, you can do your best to stay a healthy weight, active, and look after yourself but everyone is different.

My grandmother was born as the youngest child to parents in their 40s, she lost her mother in her early teens and her father in her 30s. She's still alive though and I am almost 40, if she had been my mother not my grandmother then I would have only been providing her with care and assistance the last few years.

60 isn't old.

DH is 57, our youngest DC is 17. DH is physically fit (cycles etc) and planning on working for at least another 10 years. His parents are in their late 80s and have only just started needing to use a walking stick. They were looking after our DC well into their 70s.

I really wouldn't worry!

I had my kids in my 40s, am now approaching 60. I do feel tired, much more tired than younger parents, but then I am also a single parent, work full time and care for someone with dementia. It's quite a lot.

Yes, they might lose me young, but I'm hoping that genetics will out. Both my parents and my grandmother are still alive and in good health. My mum still works and walks three miles every day; my gran lives independently. My grandad died two years ago at 103.

It's not ideal and I wish I had had them younger (I did try) but it is what it is. They're great kids and I hope they are glad they were born!

I know what you mean. I’m 35 and my parents are 74 and 79. I do wish they were younger so we had more time together and could do more things. Dad has awful arthritis in his knees so can barely walk now and I’m very aware that anything could happen to them at any time.

Then again. Apart from dad’s arthritis they both seem very well, mentally and physically. And one of my friends whose dad isn’t even 60 just got diagnosed with cancer.

Being old isn’t a guarantee you’re going to get ill and be a burden, and being young doesn’t guarantee years of health and life. Do what you can to focus on your physical health, for sure, but your mental health is just as important - you need to enjoy the time you have with your children! I’m glad you’re getting counselling.

You can't know what the future holds. Some people are still young in their 70s, others die in their 50s. You aren't guaranteed an old age, regardless of when you have your kids.