Kids behaviour in coffee shops

[Amd1985]

Just wanting to see what peoples views are regarding children’s behaviour in coffee shops.

I took my well behaved 3 year old for some lunch a couple of weeks ago. There was only one table free and a boisterous 2 year old was running across the seats and was very noisy. I asked the parent (who was chatting to 2 friends) if the table was free and she replied yes. I sat down with my daughter and the little boy remained at the table with us even though there was a seat at his mothers table. The mother said to me that he was fine with us as he was only playing and I was not using all of the seats. I was gobsmacked, I would never sit my child with a stranger, I told the parent that I would like my daughter to sit opposite me to which she replied ‘ok he can sit next to her then’ they eventually left and gave me a stare on their way out.

2 weeks later I was in the cafe again and the same women came in and sat on a table near me. They stared, laughed and talked about me so that I could hear, saying how rude I was! I got up and told them that I could hear what they were saying and that it was rude to leave a child on someone else’s table, they said how rude I was and got quite argumentative and starting accusing me of telling them to remove their child which I never did. They said he is only 2 and was only playing. He may have only been playing but i am not sure if it is appropriate to have him playing at someone else's table.

Am i being unreasonable here to want a quiet coffee with my daughter and not with someone else’s child?

YANBU. Lazy parenting is what it is.

YANBU.

OP I think these people are the exception to the rule aren't they
Obviously you're not being unreasonable but these people were just stupid people from the sounds of it.

Next time have a word with the staff. A young child running around where hot liquids are is a recipe for disaster. They need to be better supervised by the parents. I bet they can't do anything until a customer makes a complaint.

YANBU

@Amd1985 - you need to start going to a different cafe.

If you go to mainstream cafes, you'll find they have "mainstream" people in them with associated parenting skills.

This made me laugh. We were on holiday in the uk recently and went to an Italian restaurant. The chef's daughter 6 years old came and started talking to us when we were outside. We then went inside to eat and she came with us and sat with us the whole time we were eating! No one moved her. She then started being really rude to us and hitting me so we ate quickly, paid the bill and hotfooted it out of there!

If your child can't behave, don't take them to coffee shops

It's that simple.

Why didn't you just tell the child firmly to go and sit with his mum?

Because I thought it might look rude and the Mother seemed to think it was ok for him to be there. I sat there and said nothing but I think they could tell I was not happy from my body language as I was just sat there looking at the naughty child in disbelief. I could not believe it when I was back there today and they were accusing me of being rude! I asked them how they would feel if my daughter sat with them and they seemed to think it was fine. Obviously I would never sit my child with strangers

Pray tell what "mainstream" people are😂

I know this made me laugh so much 🤣

TBH I don't think (young) children should be in coffee shops. If you want to take them out go to bloody McDonalds. Long gone are the days I could go out with family or friends for a civilised cup of coffee (I don't drink so don't bother with pubs unless eating) without screaming bloody kids. I literally had to remove my hearing aids because the screaming got too much on more than one occasion.

Make all coffee shops over 14s only.

(Dons hard hat)

Except some us, OP included, have well behaved children who sit well and can converse with indoor voices. I can’t stand the screaming either though so I sympathise about your hearing aids. It’s bloody awful and inconsiderate.

Op you should have shoved the chair and dc to their table...

YANBU.

Riffraff are flooding over to coffee shops now :(

@wellthatwentwelldinnit coffee shops are where I go with my 4 month old for a change of scenery. I leave if he kicks off.
That and baby groups are a lifeline during mat leave. Shall we just lock ourselves in at home because he’s little?
I’m also someone that was on the fence about having kids and wasn’t sure whether I would enjoy it at all. But kids are part and parcel of life and society. The Uk is quite an anti-kid society compared to other countries around the world and that’s sad.

DH has friends like this. Their kids are nice and well behaved but the parents let them just go up to other people’s tables in restaurants. I don’t think it’s acceptable at all, no matter how well behaved they are.

The age of the child is irrelevant. 2 or 20, you do t want a stranger joining you and your dd. They should be ashamed of themselves confronting you like that. You shouldn’t have even had to explain yourself 🙄

I was in agreement with you until you referred to a 2 year old as a ‘naughty child’ 🙄 he’s 2 ffs. Climbing on chairs is no different than climbing on soft play to him. It’s not his fault his mum isn’t teaching him boundaries. How is he meant to know the difference?

I'm confused. Are you saying that a mainstream cafe would be better? Or worse? What are the connotations of being mainstream?

Unfortunately there is an epidemic of people unable or unwilling to control their children. Because that involves effort, time and awareness. YANBU

No you're not. The boys mother is out of line for letting her kid rim feral.

You need to develop a ‘teacher voice’ when coming across unruly children not being properly parented.

If their child is annoying me and the parents are ignoring them, I will firmly tell them off “put that down/stop doing that, you need to go and sit with your mummy over there…”etc.

I must admit that one of the benefits of being an older parent is you’re less inclined to put up with crap parenting from others. My time to chill isn’t going to be ruined by other people’s irritating offspring.

@Fmlgirl It’s maybe not that the UK is ‘anti kid’ just that kids in other countries are raised better than some of the feral ones we seem to have over here. Not the kids fault, just lazy parents.