Only get given dinner in hospital if you breastfeed?!

[Babybabyy]

I’m currently in hospital with my one month old due to a respiratory issue and we’re having to stay in for a few days. The staff on the ward have been lovely, can’t do enough for us and I have a (sort of) bed in her room. They made me breakfast this morning and my husband brought me in lunch. At dinner a nurse brought me a menu and held it out to me before double checking I definitely was breastfeeding. I said yes, mainly expressing now, and she said that was good because you only get offered the dinner menu if you’re breastfeeding.

As much as I can understand the concept of feeding mums who obviously need to eat well in order to produce milk, why are mums who are formula feeding (for whatever reason) not worthy of their dinner? I was surprised they could actually even say that, especially when some people will have struggled with breastfeeding 🤔 Just a bit taken aback by it! Is this standard practice in hospitals if you’re in with your baby?

Because the baby is the patient and not the parent. They are not required to feed anyone other than the child, but if breastfeeding then the food goes to the mother to help produce the milk. otherwise they would provide formula for the baby.

You’re not the patient, you’re literally being fed as you’re feeding the patient. I agree though, it’s a bit brutal!

They can't feed all parents of paediatric patients. Besides, the food is horrible!

I was grateful for the policy during a long hospital stay but very fed up of mini pizzas and chicken nuggets by the end as they only did a kids menu in the hospital. They're just feeding the one who is feeding the patient, who has greater energy requirements and probably less likely to be able to leave the child to get food elsewhere.

Yes standard practice. But as others said the food is dreadful anyway!

Yeah, logically it makes sense to be feeding the person who is feeding the child but it is cruel. I particularly feel for those parents who cannot breastfeed for medical reasons as it must feel very discriminatory and raw

Seems fair to me - the baby is the patient, so feeding the baby is their concern.
An adult can feed themselves if they’re well.

Well, they can’t spare the approximately 17 pence worth of ingredients they spend on each meal!!

Seriously, it is very mean if you have such a young baby, isn’t it? Seeing as the only way you can go and buy food for yourself can often be through leaving your baby alone on the ward.

Nothing has changed, it was the same 25 years ago !

It's to make sure the baby's food supply is kept up which is done by feeding the mother when you breastfeed. It's not to discriminate against formula feeding mothers, it's all about baby's health which isn't compromised if they don't feed you.

I was surprised they were offering me food at all, earlier in the day too and it’s great they are. I didn’t take them up on it anyway and got dinner in from elsewhere but I thought it would more likely be a case of feed the parent who is in with their newborn (and can’t really go anywhere for food without a second adult coming in) or don’t, rather than only offer them food if they’re breastfeeding

If you aren’t lucky enough to have someone who can come in to help you though, it’s not really practical (or safe) to leave your baby alone at a month old with a cannula etc in to go to the hospital cafeteria to sit and eat dinner

I've never thought about it as feeding the person who is feeding the patient. That actually makes more sense.

I always assumed it was because it's harder for a breast feeding mum to find time to go to the canteen/shop whereas if you formula feed maybe a relative/visitor could feed them while you go & feed yourself.

Breastfeeding isn’t a guarantee you’ll be offered food either. When my baby was in for several nights at a week old I was never offered any food at all, despite the fact that they knew I was exclusively breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding mums are provided with food in order to produce milk for baby.

It's just biological.

And yea it's standard practice.

Years ago toddler DC1 was in hospital and DH was staying with him as DC2 was only a few weeks old at the time. I would go during the day and was offered meals as I was a breastfeeding mother, despite my breastfed baby not being the patient. I found it a bizarre thing then and this post reminded me about it!

Standard. They are feeding the patient.

Hope baby is okay OP x

As others have said there's logic behind it but I think it is harsh especially for parents of a very young baby who can't leave them to get food for themselves, I was in hospital for 3 nights with my 8-week old and initially staff on shift were confused as to whether or not they should feed me (I'm BF), my DH was home with our other child but wasn't allowed to bring him onto the ward, child too young to be left alone, no relatives nearby to bring supplies - it was hard enough being in hospital with such a young baby then more stressful having to worry about how to get food when I couldn't leave him.

This is the first I’d ever noticed it but it seems it’s obviously something that all hospitals do then. I think it just struck me as being a bit harsh when the menu was already put infront of me. I’m emotional, stressed etc and if I had been formula feeding I would of had to say no and she’d whip the menu away from me 😂

Its horrible. I didnt breast feed and i had no one to relieve me of watching my child so i didnt eat or drink other than a small jug of water. I entered hospital in an emergency situation so i couldnt have been prepared. I had no one who could come to the hospital to help me. No deliveroo and no money even if there had of been. I asked if a nurse could watch him and was told they will be around doing their rounds. And in my anxious state i didnt feel comfortable doing so. Luckily we were only there 2 days.

Yeah I can totally see the basic logic behind it. It just made me think it was a bit unfair the way she asked as she was already handing me the menu. It’s a really tough time for people already so surely when the baby is too young to be left it needs to be a blanket rule regardless of how you’re feeding

@Redlarge aww bless you ☹️ this is the kind of situation I was imagining. I really don’t know how you’re meant to get dinner otherwise. Just feels like (even if that isn’t what’s happening) formula feeding mums are being punished for not breastfeeding. To me it makes more sense just to feed the parent who is stuck there unable to go get food

They don't feed parents though. I spent a couple of nights in hospital with my daughter when she was 12 and they only fed her. I had to try and get myself food but couldn't leave the ward much because I needed to wait in case the doctor came and also to support my DD who is autistic.
A nurse gave me an apple at one point because I hadn't eaten all day, had a moment to go and get something but she told me everything had closed!

They just can't feed anyone other than the patient, it would cost a fortune.