Only get given dinner in hospital if you breastfeed?!

[Babybabyy]

I’m currently in hospital with my one month old due to a respiratory issue and we’re having to stay in for a few days. The staff on the ward have been lovely, can’t do enough for us and I have a (sort of) bed in her room. They made me breakfast this morning and my husband brought me in lunch. At dinner a nurse brought me a menu and held it out to me before double checking I definitely was breastfeeding. I said yes, mainly expressing now, and she said that was good because you only get offered the dinner menu if you’re breastfeeding.

As much as I can understand the concept of feeding mums who obviously need to eat well in order to produce milk, why are mums who are formula feeding (for whatever reason) not worthy of their dinner? I was surprised they could actually even say that, especially when some people will have struggled with breastfeeding 🤔 Just a bit taken aback by it! Is this standard practice in hospitals if you’re in with your baby?

Where do you draw the line, the mum of a baby 2yo, 3yo 5yo 10yo?
Most parents will tag team, or the other parent (or extended family) can bring food in to the one staying with the child.

However think how hard it is for parents of children who are in children's hospitals far from home.

@Sugarfree23 - I think all parents in children wards should be fed. Even if they are teenagers. They are where I live.

Our local hospital we have to go with Ds when allergy issues is over an hour drive away. it’s in the middle of nowhere so no cafes or takeaways. It has a hospital cafe but it’s only open for visitors 10am-5pm. So it’s limited. When I visited the first 18 ish months the cafe was completely closed due to covid rules still. I don’t have any other family here and luckily dh can come daily as it’s short stays. But like I said hospital feeds parents so it’s fine. If they didn’t it would be really hard for parents. Even my dh couldn’t come daily if Ds was admitted longer term. So parents with children in for months in uk must be awful

It's been that way at our local NHS since I used to stay with DD from early 1990's. Parents could help themselves to toast and tea/coffee in the parent's room (back then - don't know if that's changed as many hospitals have banned toaster use on wards due to smoke alarm sensitivity), but all other food had to be sourced elsewhere unless you were a breastfeeding mother.

My dad was an NHS patient but had his first hip replacement in a private hospital.

We (visitors) were able to order a meal so we could eat as a family. We had to pay for it obviously.

Years (probably decades ago) when I was in hospital, as a patient not a parent, there was a 'mobile shop', a lady with a trolly, that did the rounds and teenagers did a newspaper round each morning.

Surely it wouldn't be difficult to have something like that? I suppose they are worried about cross contamination.

Why would you chose to feed the parents of immobile babies but not older babies and toddlers, where it would be genuinely dangerous to leave?

Its upsetting and difficult to leave tiny babies. Its impossible to leave an 18m year old.

I think all parents of under 5s should be fed for a small fee so the hospital don't lose out because of it.

Even vending machines and parents rooms, as useful as they can be, are often not enough. If you have a 2 year old on drips, drains etc, then you aren't going to be able to be out of the room for the 5-10 mins to even microwave the meal. Its hard enough finding the time to pee (and yes I've gone many times with the door open for that reason 😳)

Yes I think the nhs way should often food even if it’s a fixed fee. Say £5 per day for parent. It would be far easier than having to leave any age child. Even an older child is likely to be scare in strange environment when not well.

TBH food is just one element - DS was in hospital for 2 weeks earlier this year, luckily the hospital is near where we live, DH and I tag teamed, we have supportive employers and family support to look after other DC.

If you were a single parent of more than one child, with no support and one child in hospital 50 miles away, unable to afford travel easily - god knows what you would do. There were not enough nurses to be able to provide suitable childcare if a parent was absent.

I always think they should have more assistants, whether voluntary or lowest level of nursing, retired people etc who would come in just to help with this stuff. The same on maternity wards. In hospital there were volunteers who came in to restock tea and biscuits in family kitchen, they could also take on errands and watch kids while parents go to the loo etc.

That's been standard for years, my now 20yr old was in hospital when he was one and it was exactly the same then. It's so that you can nourish the patient, so it's not the same as formula feeding at all. I'm a veggie, so I lived off vending machine sandwiches for weeks at a time.

I think if they are going to have a policy where you are not allowed to leave your child unattended on the ward (which many do) then they should provide food for the parent as well. It may not have such a direct impact on the child as if the dm is breastfeeding, but in the longer run the child benefits if the parent’s needs are met as well. The alternative would be that they provide someone who can sit with the child while the parent leaves to get something to eat.

I agree with it in as much as if a baby is EBF and the mother doesn't eat it will impact the baby's recovery.

DD was in A&E when she was 12m for bronchiolitis between 6pm and 1am and I wasn't given dinner. I also wasn't allowed to leave her. As a single parent I was stuck and couldn't eat. I felt really alone and it was one of the only times I've really felt sad about being a lone parent as it highlighted the fact that being single meant I couldn't look after us both in that moment. After that I learned that unless 2 minutes will make the difference between life and death that I pack a bag with food, drinks, phone charger, a book and a change of clothes for both DD and I before we head off to hospital.

They are expecting that parents will have other family who can support them or they will go and get food while the child is sleeping.

I'd much rather see the NHS spend money on keeping Doctors and Nurses well paid and in the UK than for them to be feeding, people who aren't hospital patients.

A friend of mine is a single parent to a child with epilepsy (and learning disabilities). Child had to spend a couple of days with an EEG attached to their head and she needed to press a button every time she saw a seizure. They were not allowed to leave the room as the whole thing was video recorded. Hospital was 70 miles from home, parent was instructed not to leave their child as they might miss a seizure, and child was not allowed to leave the room. I think she must have eaten crackers and tinned tuna for a week.

Only feeding the patient is fine but obviously there needs to be something else in place to support parents. There was a thread on here a few months back of a parent stuck with a child not allowed to leave them to go get food as there weren't enough staff to supervise the child.

On the subject of volunteers, when I was teaching BTEC health and social care students had to do a work placement, something like this would be a useful one.

There would need to be some form of supervision but that could be a volunteer too or a teacher.

These are 16 - 19 year olds who mostly want to go into nursing or other NHS careers.