Struggling with the transition from nursery to school as a single parent..

[SpaghettiAndMeatball20]

DD started reception this week.. Oh gosh, I am shattered!
I took the first couple of days off with her to settle her in with the school runs, she now uses breakfast and after school club. She does gymnastics and swimming also after school which I take her too after finishing work and collecting her.
But my god, I am struggling with all of the additional cooking and cleaning up after her and also getting things prepared, washing school uniform, keeping on top of things AND also working. By 9.00pm I am KO'd.

Tonight she has swimming, and I have made a picky bits type tea for her to eat on the way home as it'll be 7pm by the time we get back and don't really want to be cooking a meal.

I feel like I need to be better organised but really feel the "single parentness" now she's transitioned to primary school.

She has little involvement from her father and he won't be doing anything school related other than turning up to events etc.

Please give me your tips on how to get through the week without being hit by a bus.

I know the logical thing to do is meal plan, do mini-cleans and not be scared to do things like picky bits teas etc.. but anything else please tell me!!

Nursery did everything from 7.30am to 5.00pm and all I gave her when she got in was a light dinner ahead of bed as she's a 7pm to 7am sleeper.

Now feel like she needs a proper dinner in the evenings but really struggling. I also don't eat with her as I like to have a bit of an evening and usually eat after she's gone to bed so I can decompress and eat at my own pace.

Oh I hear you - solidarity and a fist bump. My DS is now in Year 3 but I remember the early days. Uniform and any extras laid out night before; water bottle filled and in fridge; small Tupperware for break time snack on the side to remind me; meals can be a snack sized pizza plus salad, or grilled chicken wraps that she can add stuff to (sweetcorn, grated carrot, cheese, olives etc - grill chicken thighs night before); batch cook stews/bolognese/curry and freeze; timetable printed and on the fridge.

Your work clothes decided and laid out before bed; breakfast stuff laid out ready for the morning; your dinner ready for you to eat the moment DD is in bed, so oven on or water boiling or whatever.

You got this!

Boy lots of uniform so you don't have the stress of washing all the time. If she's having school dinners she will likely have had a big meal and pudding at lunch time so I find my boys like a lighter tea. Get plenty of snacks in as they're always hungry immediately after school and will put them off until tea time

One thing that really helped me when mine were in primary and doing lots of activities was to keep a swim bag, dance bag, taekwondo bag, PE kit, school bag etc all packed and ready in the hall cupboard. As soon as swimming costumes etc were washed and dried they went straight in the allocated bag and were stored there. Saved so much time and effort. I never had to buy extra bags as they seemed to get them as presents and I just used cloth bags if I ran out of backpacks.

You are adapting to a new routine now, but it will feel easier soon. x

Buy some extra uniform and see if you can move gymnastics or swimming to the weekend. My dd is in year 3 now and she only does a club on the weekday where I don't work. It's too much in the week.

Yes you sound like you have a lot going on Swimming and Gymnastics after school club , work etc that’s without the usually daily living chores etc. You need to drop something out , batch cook , get her to help in the house. Meal times are important I think this is when familes should come together share a meal

I think the resounding piece of advice I've received is to buy extra uniform. DD is in summer dresses atm until October and I've got 3 of them. I've got 6 shirts, 3 skirts and 2 cardigans and 1 jumper for October onwards, I was planning for her to wear her cardigan or jumper 2 days in a row before switching. I think it would definitely help to just wash it all on Friday evening or Saturday morning rather than keep up in the week.

Her PE kit stays there all term so don't need to worry about that.

Think it's just adapting to the new routine like posters say.

I would keep the swimming as it's on a fri, so she can chill at the weekend. I'd cancel the gymnastics though.

Keep weekends low key and chilled out. You both need rest and down time - tv, stories, local park.

Can she have school dinners? Then you can just do something v easy for dinner - toast, fruit and yog, beans on toast.

My dd just started in reception. She has to do after school club 4 times a week and breakfast club twice a week. Absolutely no choice due to my work.

I know she will be knackered, but my elder two dc also had to do it and they survived.

If she’s having a hot dinner at school I think it’s ok to give a cold evening meal, could you possibly change swimming to a weekend? Buy enough uniform to last a week then just bung it in the wash on a Friday and iron on the Sunday.

just do what you can to get through the first few weeks, it’ll all settle down and become routine soon enough. Ready meals and frozen pizza won’t do any harm in the short term, grabbing a Tesco meal deal after swimming sounds like a great idea!

Hi OP, I could have wrote your exact post 9 years ago.

It gets easier! I promise, as you fall into routine.

Definitely have 5 full sets of uniform.

Do all school admin the second it comes in- pay for this, fill out this form etc. Don't leave it til 'later'. In fact the same goes for all life admin, bills etc because if it piles up you'll miss things and it'll feel overwhelming.

Good luck, keep going.

Hi op also a lone parent since DD was 3 but she is now 14. The nursery years prepared DD for school hours as she was in nursery ft from 6 months old from 7.30 am to 6.30pm. She moved to primary and did 8am to 6pm as I worked 8.30 to 5.30.
I had enough uniform for the week
and only washed at weekends. DD had school meals ( though she wanted a packed lunch ) and we did swimming on a Thursday night.
Honestly I was knackered for years but came through it!
Be aware primary also want you to be really involved. Their are endless assemblies, performances, school fayres, mother's day event, easter parades, xmas parties, end of term discos, costumes for world book day etc etc

@SpaghettiAndMeatball20 @Moanyoldmoan has 4 kids to sort out not 1 child in reception!

Personally. You do just need to organise yourself a little, it's a big transition, but you'll get there.

Batch cooking saved me, it still does! I didnt spend ages doing this but everytime I did cook I'd hugely overcook, so it didn't add time to my schedule - a lot of batch cookers do it over the weekend and I think that's inefficient.

Certain meals make tge basis of multiple recipes - a standard mince, tomato and onion fry up can be turned into bolognaise, burritos, chilli or used in lasagne. Just add salad or veg on the day. I always had ice cream, yoghurt, juice and reasonable snacks in the cupboards eg flapjacks or good fruit content cereal bars and fruit.

It is easier once you get in the rhythm, but noone said having kids as aa single parent was easy and I'm sorry you're finding it tough x

I'd check what she's eating at school. I helped out with the Christmas meal one year and I was horrified at how much was thrown away. Throwing away perfectly lovely roast potatoes nearly broke me!

So I wouldn't just assume she's had a good meal at school, some do but some really don't. I imagined all the parents who would be thinking their kids had a lovely Christmas dinner and some of them had virtually nothing. I was told it was nothing unusual with the little ones.

Thankfully she's having school dinners x

She's a very good eater. I went in with her this week for lunch and she woofed the lot so I think she'll mostly be ok.

I haven’t read the full thread but I went back to full time work almost a year ago, my kids are 14 and 11 and my god I am shattered. They both have SEN so aren’t able (or willing) to do an awful lot for themselves. 9pm is bedtime for me, even if not for them. Meals are whatever I can be arsed to cook and I feel like my life is just one big rush!

Definitely meal planning and batch cooking. As it’s just the two of you you can cook a couple of big dishes at the weekend to see you through most of the week. I tend to fill a slow cooker with 8-10 portions of a stew, curry, bolognese etc. at the weekend which covers a few meals. You can freeze portions for later in the week. If you have a large chest freezer I know people who set aside one day a month and batch cook for the whole month! Picky bits teas are fine too especially if she’s having a hot lunch.

Drop gymnastics and give dinner straight after school with a bit of time before swimming at 5.30, then a quick snack like a bowl of cereal before bed.

I don't see how school instead of nursery requires extra cooking and cleaning?
And if you're tired why are you doing after school extra curricular activities? Those can wait til she's older surely?

I hear you, I was a single parent from when DS was 3 to 8- no help at all from my ex and it is extremely challenging. Although it was a few years ago for me my tips:

• Buy enough uniform for the week, for me this was 2 x trousers, 2 x jumpers, 5 x polo tops and then 2 x PE tops and shorts, at least 5 x socks and underwear (I kept these separate). Once worn popped into a separate pile and all washed together with a colour catcher on a Friday straight after schooleven though its the last thing you feel like doing ready for Monday. Also washed lunchbox/water bottle or whatever else.

• As soon as get any dates of events/meetings/term dates/TD days I would write them on the calendar and then again on the Friday after school I'd look what was needed for next week. I liked doing things Friday because it's weekend vibes and feeling good and stops the Sunday dread being as bad.

• Meal plan dinners and don't worry about them overly, prep as much as possible and don't feel bad if it's something super simple and quick! DS loved toast with beans and egg, and he'd had a cooked meal at school so all good.

• Don't feel like you have to do tonnes of after school clubs etc, DS did a few then narrowed it down to 1 and so much easier to keep track of and keep on top of.

• If you can't attend an event in school time don't feel guilty about it, you can only do what you can do and you won't be the only one.

It is a big adjustment and it's very hard by yourself when juggling work, but you do find your groove and find what works well for you.

I want you to be my family advisor! Solo, full time working parent to 3 DCs who have (drum roll...) 22 clubs per week between the 3 of them 😳😂 They all bloody love sport and it's a nightmare!

I love the STOP time idea- we are all excited about Strictly starting as we sit down altogether and do nothing.

I highly recommend aiming low with dinners- pasta and rice with various bits is as adventurous as gets here.

My job is really inflexible but I met a parent the other week who does 4 days over 5 days of school hours and I though it was a genius idea.

Good luck 💪🏼

Do most of you put full new uniform on them every day? Surely clean underwear each day would suffice, with maybe a midweek pants or skirt change. Their clothes can’t be that dirty?

We had lots of duvet days in reception, obv at weekends. She needed time to relax. We did do 3 clubs but she dropped to 2 and then picked up gym again in Yr 2.
She has school lunches and then evenings are sandwiches, pasta ham and egg etc. I eat with her then cleaned up whilst she did her reading.
Get a chart to know which day she needs pe kit or uniform etc and pack all bags at beginning of week.

I found polo tops could get grim pretty quickly in KS1, he had a new one of those every day and then trousers and jumper clean on as needed, usually mid week.

As a retired headteacher, mother of 4 and grandmpther of 6 - a four year old does not need swimming or gym lessons! The school will provide what she needs at this age - there’s planty of time for hobbies when she’s older, and give yourself a break! Quality time with a less frazzled mum is what she needs.

I don't think she was unfair at all!

I am in exactly the same position as you but have one at school and one at the childminder. Dad not involved apart from supervised contact every other weekend for one day. It’s hard, really hard. Try and get your head around the house being a bit of a mess midweek. I have the same main component for dinners every day of the week on repeat to make it easy for me to plan (Monday = some sort of pasta, Tuesday = potato, Wednesday = rice, Thursday and Friday picky), including 2 picky teas on days where they both have a hot lunch. I have a reset on Saturday morning where I do washing, clean/tidy etc. I find that after a few weeks we get into the swing of it and your DC will also know her new routine better. The night before I put all bags etc by the door so all we have to do is get ready and grab them. I forget things, get overwhelmed and by no means does it always go smoothly but that’s life. You’ve got this 🙂

Also, my daughter swims on a Saturday morning and that’s her only club. When she goes into Y1 she can start a school run club one day after school.