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Original poster

I don't like my daughter boyfriend

121 replies

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 10:01

So it may seem strange to post as my DD is a grown woman she is 24, but I am just looking for advice. So my DD has been with her partner for over year and they share a house together but she will not let me meet him, she says it's because of the way I speak of her partner but I'm not a fan of the area he lives in, which is now the area she has moved to with him. I worry that he may not be good enough for her and she has become very introverted and a different person since being with him. What can I do to help make this situation better ?

OP posts:
PinkRoses1245 · 04/09/2023 11:02

No wonder she doesn't want you to meet him! Maybe be a bit more open minded and non-judgemental.

Original poster
lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:03

I just feel there is something she is hiding from me about him, they moved in very quick and I feel he is taking her away from me. The opinions I have voiced to her is that it is dangerous in the area she is in and people from those types of area will bring her trouble. She's worked hard to get into the job she's in and I don't want him to distract her from her job and bring her down and leave her with nothing

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/09/2023 11:06

You need to decide what is more important to you - shouting your opinions out on her choices (and on her partner who you’ve not met) or your relationship with your daughter.

Because that’s what it’ll come down to.

She knows your opinion. That you’ve repeated it oft enough that she’s decided Not to introduce you to her partner that she’s serious enough about that she lives with says a lot

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IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 11:07

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:03

I just feel there is something she is hiding from me about him, they moved in very quick and I feel he is taking her away from me. The opinions I have voiced to her is that it is dangerous in the area she is in and people from those types of area will bring her trouble. She's worked hard to get into the job she's in and I don't want him to distract her from her job and bring her down and leave her with nothing

You can't always help where you live and not everyone in a 'bad area' is actually 'bad'.

You sound jealous that she's moving on an you haven't got her to yourself anymore.

Bonbon21 · 04/09/2023 11:08

Well it appears you have brought her down... and you are the one who is going to be left with nothing..
She is an adult and can make her own choices.
You just dont happen to be one of them.

Iwasafool · 04/09/2023 11:08

Honestly you have to respect her judgement and be there if she finds she's made a bad decision. Don't alienate her, make sure she feels welcome, don't discuss BF other than to ask how he is.

I have 4 kids and their 4 partners, I certainly don't like them all equally but I never voice that and I don't think any of them know although one doesn't seem to like the family but we still make her welcome.

Original poster
lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:14

I just find it hard to accept him because of what I know of the area he is from. And personally I feel since being with him she dresses so terrible and it matches the area she now lives in. I feel like he is trouble and he will never fit in with our family

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/09/2023 11:15

I just find it hard to accept him because of what I know of the area he is from. And personally I feel since being with him she dresses so terrible and it matches the area she now lives in. I feel like he is trouble and he will never fit in with our family

You’ve never met him…

Basically you are a raging snob so bigoted against all people from an area you’re driving away your own daughter.

Imagine how unfair it would be if people judged your daughter based on her mother’s serious lack of class and judgemental manners?

HennyPenny1234 · 04/09/2023 11:17

You don't like him but you haven't met him

You are correct, this is a strange post

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 11:17

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:14

I just find it hard to accept him because of what I know of the area he is from. And personally I feel since being with him she dresses so terrible and it matches the area she now lives in. I feel like he is trouble and he will never fit in with our family

You're sounding worse the more you post.

hdbs17 · 04/09/2023 11:18

You send incredibly stuck up and have an abhorrent attitude to be perfectly honest.

If she's telling you that she doesn't want to hear you complaining about him or where he's from, it's probably because all you've done is complain and belittle a man you've never met!

The town that I chose to move to - has a bad reputation but I have a lovely home, never have trouble, a nice quiet street and lovely friendly neighbours.
Just because there are places with people who haven't made the best choices, doesn't mean that everyone who lives there falls into that trap. Every town and city has it good and bad parts.

Maybe you should open up your heart, and offer to visit her one day and meet him? Promise not to make any comments.
Oh, and don't forget your shoe covers and anti-bac gel for visiting the 'rough area'!

gabagood · 04/09/2023 11:22

You sound awful, snobby and judgemental. That's why she's pulling away from you. It's your doing.

I'd be spending less time with you too.

Original poster
lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:25

In my opinion I do not believe I am being snobby at all, I feel as a mother I am entitled to a opinion of who my daughter dates. Personally I just hope I am right and the relationship fizzles out soon, because I believe he does not love my daughter but wants to use her because he knows where she's from.

OP posts:
Netcam · 04/09/2023 11:26

A person's 'worth' is nothing to do with the background they come from or the area they live in. We are all human beings and when each baby is born, it has an equal right to reside on this earth. Unfortunately the world is so unequal that some will have more than others materially. But worth as a person is nothing to do with what we own, it is about who we are, about how compassionate we are towards others. Look at the government, we have rich Etonian idiots trying to run the country and lots of decent people struggling to get by doing all the hard graft. The only thing you need to do is rethink your values and then you might have a chance of rebuilding a relationship with your daughter.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/09/2023 11:26

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:25

In my opinion I do not believe I am being snobby at all, I feel as a mother I am entitled to a opinion of who my daughter dates. Personally I just hope I am right and the relationship fizzles out soon, because I believe he does not love my daughter but wants to use her because he knows where she's from.

Judging someone based on their postcode without meeting them is the epitome of snobby.

She lives with him. It hasn’t fizzled out.

The only thing likely to fizzle out is her relationship with you…

gabagood · 04/09/2023 11:27

Jesus fucking Christ.

loislovesstewie · 04/09/2023 11:28

I can't believe that any of these posts are for real.

pinkyredrose · 04/09/2023 11:29

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:25

In my opinion I do not believe I am being snobby at all, I feel as a mother I am entitled to a opinion of who my daughter dates. Personally I just hope I am right and the relationship fizzles out soon, because I believe he does not love my daughter but wants to use her because he knows where she's from.

Agog at the blatent snobbery. No wonder she's not telling you anything about him.

He isn't 'taking her away', you're driving her away with your attitude.

pinkyredrose · 04/09/2023 11:31

What area is he from?

Original poster
lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:32

I think it's wrong for some of you to state that my opinions can't be real? I don't think it's that unbelievable to have such a strong opinion on your daughters worth especially since she's been raised in such a good middle class background. And I also don't believe I am the one pushing her away I think he is the one convincing her, so that he has her for himself.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 04/09/2023 11:32

For someone so into the 'finer' things, (lol), you could do with some spelling and grammar tuition.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 11:33

This can't be real. I thought my mum was bad but you're 100x worse.

If he was 'using her', surely he would have wormed himself into the lovely stuck up place you live to make himself look better, instead of staying in the shithole he's already in.

You sound like a proper bitch. I'm not surprised she doesn't get you to see him.

If you're this horrible about strangers sI dread to think what you're like about people you actually know.

SleeplessinSeattle53 · 04/09/2023 11:33

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:32

I think it's wrong for some of you to state that my opinions can't be real? I don't think it's that unbelievable to have such a strong opinion on your daughters worth especially since she's been raised in such a good middle class background. And I also don't believe I am the one pushing her away I think he is the one convincing her, so that he has her for himself.

I think we don't think you're real because you've based your opinion of him entirely on where he lives. You don't even know him. Who does that?

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 11:34

lemonpeaxh20 · 04/09/2023 11:32

I think it's wrong for some of you to state that my opinions can't be real? I don't think it's that unbelievable to have such a strong opinion on your daughters worth especially since she's been raised in such a good middle class background. And I also don't believe I am the one pushing her away I think he is the one convincing her, so that he has her for himself.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DONT KNOW HIM??

pinkyredrose · 04/09/2023 11:34

You seem to have absolutely no grounds for your opinion of him other than the area he's from. Is your name Hyacinth?

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