Is there anything you couldn't forgive your child?

[Tilllly]

Mulling over a conversation I had at church this morning

Could your child do something so bad, you'd cut them out of your life?

Sadly this is on my mind because of the awful case recently of Amber Gibson, killed by her brother.
"We need to talk about Kevin" also comes to mind.

Child abuse could be anything from a smack right up to sexual abuse and or animal abuse again theres a wide spectrum from kicking a dog up the arse right up to "use your own imagination"
Rape - I have a daughter, not sure how the mechanics of that would work but Id not disown her.
Murder. Although there are some circumstances I would accept such as if they murdered someone trespassing with ill intent on their property. - Its completely legal to bring about the death of someone in some cases so thats a no too, short of a mass attack.
Body modification/deliberate mutilation such as horns, tattooed all over, elf ears, eyes tattooed etc any of that kind of repulsive crap, maybe not delighted but abaondoning your child is a bit much
If they became transgender. - Again, Abandonment if over the top, better to support their mental health issues tbh.

But i would add one to the list, if they were involved in a "popular" religious extremist group.

@Thatladdo
You don't know how the mechanics of a female raping a male would work......?

Like a PP said- the only thing that would make me disown a child of mine would be for them to deliberately kill another of my children (or grandchildren)
Other crimes I would hate that they’d done them but still ultimately love them- and probably blame myself for too. I do guilt in a big way.

Genuinely I don't think any of us will know until we are in the situation.

i assume either drugged unless she was a big unit and physically pinned him down. the mind boggles

@Thatladdo a female can rape a male without pinning him down or drugging him. This really isn't something you should be questioning the practicality of. It's perfectly doable whether you are male or female sadly

My DD is my only child. If she's not in my life I have no life so I am damned to a life of torture and heartbreak either way. I would choose to have her in my life regardless of what she had done. As much for myself as for her. We would have to find a way forward together.

Until you are in they situation it must be impossible to truly know.

I imagine a serious sexual assault, child abuse and murder would be up there as unforgivable acts for me.

But many parents still maintain contact with their adult children after such things. It's such a complex clash of emotions.

Not legally though - not in the country I live in anyway.

Child abuse and rape. Can’t say murder as there is context e.g self defence or the woman who killed the man who abused her boys those scenarios i wouldn’t

@Dropthedonkey I'm going to assume both of you are not In the UK. That's awful

Rape
Murder
Paedophilia

But wasn't the death of Jesus part of Gods plan for humanity... ie it had to happen, salvation through Jesus as he died for our sins.... given that, be rather mean not to forgive them?

Also, doesn't it say that murder is an unforgiveable sin?

My mum was a committed a Christian but she said cold blooded murder can't be forgiven, the murderer has removed the chance of redemtion from another.

Nope 🤷‍♀️

They're my kid regardless

I had a brief moment where I forgot entirely about lostprophets and that Ian Watkins and thought you meant H From steps 🫣🤦🏼‍♀️

I was in the very worst position.. I rang the police on my ds after what he did to my dd knowing I could never see him again. Been over a decade.. The pain is indescribable.. Locked away in a box. I only allow myself to think about him once a year on his birthday.. I have mentioned it before and was very very grateful for the support on mn. Much more than I have ever had irl..

So sorry @Saddm

Random but whenever I read or hear about James Bulger I think if it was my son who had killed a toddler in the way those kids killed James I don’t think I could stand by my child even if he was just 10. After reading what they did if my child was capable of that I don’t think I could stand by my son

Mental health and past trauma plays such a big role in many the worst crimes that it is really difficult to know. If there was psychosis involved Imfor example.. I would be very torn in some situations.

Murder is one. In some circumstances. Kill someone in rage after finding them abusing their own child, I'll support them, but be half of the next Fred and Rose West, I don't think I could!

@Nousername94
They were clearly abused/ neglected children themselves. No ten year old who is committing murder has come from a good situation at home.

I could forgive my child of anything. I would blame myself for their misguided choices and see it as some sort of error of mine in their upbringing.

Alexandra2001, I think your mother and I disagree on some points of theology.
If humanity had listened to Jesus’s message of love and redemption, and followed Him - rather than savagely murdering Him - then God’s purpose of reconciling humankind with Himself would still have been achieved.
Because God is omniscient, and outside of space/time, He knew what would happen, and in an amazing act of loving self sacrifice, went through with it anyway.
On your second point, there is no sin that cannot be forgiven by God, if genuinely repented. God has infinite capacity for both love and redemption.

I would definitely view my child's failing as my failings, so as a result live a life of intense shame and guilt.

I know a mother who's adult son killed a woman while driving drunk and high. He drove off without calling for help. Evaded arrest for a while. Totally denied guilt (in the face of compelling evidence). His mother supported her son throughout.

I think this sums up how I feel. It doesn't mean I'd be okay with something bad they did, or try to excuse it. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't acknowledge that they were a bad person. But ultimately I feel I couldn't abandon someone that I created, who's life I shaped.