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Original poster

If you don't qualify the the 30hrs- do you tell people?!

127 replies

WhatToDoAboutTheNosys · 24/07/2023 07:17

MN please don't come at me with stealth boast accusations! I know we are in a very fortunate position but I do have a genuine question.

We have a toddler and my DH earns just over 100k, so we don't qualify for the 30hrs of childcare funding that will come into place soon. He's the sole earner and pays a very big chunk of tax, I grew up on benefits with a single parent family and I find it very surprising that with his income we are in a great comfortable position, but certainly not rolling in it like I would have imagined someone with this income would be.

When I'm chatting with people about childcare/preschool they say oh yeah you'll get your 30 hours, the thing is we aren't and we don't have the money to pay for those hours, so he won't be going in for them!

With acquaintances I just not and say uh huh, but with friends and family it's hard to have an honest conversation about our options and the hours he'll do without telling them how much he earns. Which I'd rather not do!

If anybody is in the same situation what do you do? If people we're close to start asking why we're not putting him in for his hours (he'll continue just with 1 day at childminder) shall I use say I don't want all of that time apart from him?!

Or if you found out your friend or family was on a salary like that would you see them differently? In the past I wonder if I'd have judged them thinking surely you must have so much free cash and are being tight, it might change my whole perception of them?

I don't want to get a job just to pay for him to go in fir the 30hrs in case that's suggested, I'm in the amazing position that I get to spend this time with him while he's young and I don't have a profession so it would be minimum wage that would be eaten by the nursery fees!

OP posts:

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Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 24/07/2023 07:19

I am in a similar position. I just say I enjoy having the kids at home with me. If people press the issue i remind them I worked in a nursery and I wouldn’t send my child to one.

labamba007 · 24/07/2023 07:20

Yes just say you're enjoying spending time with him until he goes to school. I'm not sure why you'd have to justify it?

3teens2cats · 24/07/2023 07:21

Both parents have to be working. Much easier for this to be the reason, no need to mention income

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AnnaTortoiseshell · 24/07/2023 07:21

If you don’t work then you would only qualify for 15 free hours anyway, so you can say you use the hours with the CM.

Privatemedical246 · 24/07/2023 07:21

Just say you enjoy the time at home. Or just say there wasn't extra hours available to increase if you also want another excuse. Many childminders or nurseries are full I believe due to less of them around.

KateyCuckoo · 24/07/2023 07:21

Well you're not eligible because both parents need to be working also so even if he earned less, you wouldn't get it.

beachsandseaicecream · 24/07/2023 07:21

Are you a sahm? My understanding was both parents had to work to get the 30 hours regardless of how much one parent may earn.

My DS 'only' got 15 hours as I didn't work, dh does earn over 100k but it didn't matter as I didn't work anyway.

Howtohideasausage · 24/07/2023 07:22

I only told a couple a of people I think. Thing is my husband earns just over 100, but a fair few people I spoke to would have combined incomes over 100 and get the hours. So I didn’t hide it as such.

ApolloandDaphne · 24/07/2023 07:22

I'm all for being honest but I can see why you don't really want people to know about your financial situation. I would just say that you are happy with his current childcare arrangement as you enjoy being with him and leave it at that.

Pkhsvd · 24/07/2023 07:23

If you’re not working then you won’t get the 30 hours so I’d just say that you’re happy to have the time at home with him. People close to you wouldn’t be overly surprised what your DH is on if they know your lifestyle and that you’re not working

prawnring · 24/07/2023 07:24

We made it so that we qualified - easy to do with increased pensions contributions etc

BendingSpoons · 24/07/2023 07:24

He's the sole earner? Then you wouldn't get it anyway.

We work opposite days. We chose to send both ours for 15 hours because we didn't need the childcare and it was the right thing for our children. We never said much though, as it would seem we were criticising others' choices.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/07/2023 07:25

I thought both parents had to work to get the 30 hours? In which case you just say "I'm a SAHM" which they presumably already know, and your husband's earnings don't come into it.

SaltyGod · 24/07/2023 07:25

No one asked apart from the nursery once and I simply said ‘we don’t qualify’ (I was working so it was a reasonable question from them) and it was wasn’t mentioned again.

BendingSpoons · 24/07/2023 07:25

I put my foot in it like this with a friend though, who told me they don't qualify.

wheresmymojo · 24/07/2023 07:27

You're overthinking it.

Just shrug and say 'We don't qualify' and then move on. What's the big deal?

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 24/07/2023 07:28

On £100k you could afford it, you have just chosen not to prioritise it, which is your right.

So the real reason is that you don't want your child at nursery, which is also completely your choice, so just tell them the truth, you don't want dc doing 30 hours.

InDubiousBattle · 24/07/2023 07:35

Just say that you don't qualify because you're not working. My dc went to pre school from 2 but only for 12 hours a week because I was a SAHM so we didn't get the 30 hours. No one batted an eyelid at it

wherethewaterisdarker · 24/07/2023 07:37

A slight aside, but I’d just tell people honestly what he earns. And ask yourself what is it that makes this scenario seem impossible to you?

The reason I say this mainly is that I really really don’t think the way money/earnings are shrouded in secrecy and shame in this country serves our society well at all.

Hollyppp · 24/07/2023 07:37

We are in the same position in our household. I am SAHM to toddler and due baby 2 any day now. DH earns over £100. When people mention 30 hours I just say we only get the 15 as you need both parents to be working (or on Mat leave) to qualify for the 30 (rightly so). So that means we don’t qualify, it’s much easier to explain this requirement than household income IMO

Original poster

WhatToDoAboutTheNosys · 24/07/2023 07:39

Thanks everyone, I had no idea you both have to be working so that is perfect! Because I knew we don't get it I hadn't read all into it.

For those saying about the 15 hours he'll go for those but he gets them a lot later than the 30.

OP posts:

YukoandHiro · 24/07/2023 07:40

Just remind them you don't qualify because you're not working. They don't need to know you also wouldn't qualify if you were.

KateyCuckoo · 24/07/2023 07:41

WhatToDoAboutTheNosys · 24/07/2023 07:39

Thanks everyone, I had no idea you both have to be working so that is perfect! Because I knew we don't get it I hadn't read all into it.

For those saying about the 15 hours he'll go for those but he gets them a lot later than the 30.

15 and 30 hour eligibility starts at the same age at the moment, term after they turn 3 years old.

wherethewaterisdarker · 24/07/2023 07:41

Also another aside but does anyone know if you qualify if one of you is a student? My husband is the sole earner but I’m retraining doing a masters full time, so do very much “work” just not being paid…

YukoandHiro · 24/07/2023 07:41

WhatToDoAboutTheNosys · 24/07/2023 07:39

Thanks everyone, I had no idea you both have to be working so that is perfect! Because I knew we don't get it I hadn't read all into it.

For those saying about the 15 hours he'll go for those but he gets them a lot later than the 30.

The earlier hours don't kick in til 2025 - so that might not count for you either

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