If you don't qualify the the 30hrs- do you tell people?!

[WhatToDoAboutTheNosys]

MN please don't come at me with stealth boast accusations! I know we are in a very fortunate position but I do have a genuine question.

We have a toddler and my DH earns just over 100k, so we don't qualify for the 30hrs of childcare funding that will come into place soon. He's the sole earner and pays a very big chunk of tax, I grew up on benefits with a single parent family and I find it very surprising that with his income we are in a great comfortable position, but certainly not rolling in it like I would have imagined someone with this income would be.

When I'm chatting with people about childcare/preschool they say oh yeah you'll get your 30 hours, the thing is we aren't and we don't have the money to pay for those hours, so he won't be going in for them!

With acquaintances I just not and say uh huh, but with friends and family it's hard to have an honest conversation about our options and the hours he'll do without telling them how much he earns. Which I'd rather not do!

If anybody is in the same situation what do you do? If people we're close to start asking why we're not putting him in for his hours (he'll continue just with 1 day at childminder) shall I use say I don't want all of that time apart from him?!

Or if you found out your friend or family was on a salary like that would you see them differently? In the past I wonder if I'd have judged them thinking surely you must have so much free cash and are being tight, it might change my whole perception of them?

I don't want to get a job just to pay for him to go in fir the 30hrs in case that's suggested, I'm in the amazing position that I get to spend this time with him while he's young and I don't have a profession so it would be minimum wage that would be eaten by the nursery fees!

You don't qualify as a student.

We just got the 15 hours when my children were 3 which was the same as all the other SAHMs I knew. I didn't know any who stayed at home but sent their children 30 hours. The split in my friends was nursery when younger if they both worked or 15 hours preschool at 3 if only one worked.

Interesting about the timing, from what lots of people have been saying I thought the 30 hours was starting much sooner!

Shows I should look these things up more 😄 it's perfect if we get the 15 hours at the same time as I can.

I'm not studying anything, but I'm looking to train for a voluntary role so I'm doing something for myself while I'm off work for a few years.

as pp have said, if you’re not working then it’s a moot point and the 15/30 hours start at the same point now.

you said just over £100k - it’s done on taxable income so might be financially efficient to put more into pension for that period. You’d have to do the sums.

We didn’t qualify, but it rarely came up. Depending on where you live it might not be that unusual not to qualify. For us it was only our second child that we missed out on the funding for. And I will say missed out because it looks at one person’s earnings so I know families with far bigger household incomes who qualified.

The free childcare is a benefit for children whose parents have to work but can't really afford childcare costs because of low wages.

I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that you could qualify for any benefits when you don't work and your family has £5,500+ coming in every month.

I don't think that people who know you would expect you to qualify either.

Perhaps I'm missing something, idk.

It’s my understanding it needs to be paid work for both parents to qualify (minimum 16 hours a week)

OP isn’t saying she’s entitled to free childcare, she’s asking how she answers friends without divulging too much personal info.

also every family qualifies for the universal 15 hours childcare at 3 YO as it’s completely un means tested

I’m in the opposite situation, we live in a very affluent area and I try not to let slip we’re eligible for the 30 hours as then everyone will know that neither of us earn over 100k!

You might be overthinking. I had this scenario with a friend who kept talking about “the 15 hours when my child is 3” and when I said 30 she said no, 15 for us. I just thought “huh, guess friends DH earns over £100k then” and literally haven’t thought about it again until just now! If it’s close family and friends you are concerned with they probably know you might earn that ballpark anyway?

This is what I do too, due to the effective tax rate of 60% on income £100k- ~£125k and also losing tax free childcare/free hours over £100k it is definitely worth putting more into your pension to ensure taxable income is below £100k.

You're way overthinking it! Just say, 'I don't have a job so we don't get them'

If you wanted to be pedantic about it, the reason for your non-qualification is almost certainly not your DH's salary. If his gross salary is 'just' over £100k and he pays anything at all into a pension then his adjusted net income is very likely below £100k.

You don't qualify because you are not in work and you can tell people this perfectly honestly without any danger of boasting, stealth or otherwise .

@Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie Please may I ask, why wouldn’t you send your child to a nursery? I thought they had improved, but could you please let me know, what goes on behind closed doors? Thank you 😊

Surely you would say “Well I’m a sahm so I don’t need childcare” (because under the age of 3 that’s what Nursery is).

Quite apart from the nursery issue - which is actually a non-issue because all you need to say is that you don't qualify...

However, what's your plan? You say you don't have a profession and you'd only be able to earn minimal wage. Surely you don't want to depend on your husband forever? That could be a risky long-term strategy. You need to think about what you want to do with your life and work out how to get the necessary skills and qualifications.

I have lots of well-qualified professional friends who all work (consultants, in IT etc) but I didn't even know about the 100k limit until recently as it didn't apply to me. I've no idea if my friends are in that situation or not. I also don't know anyone who sent their child for 30 hours who didn't need to. My husband and I both work 4+ days a week and even we only needed about 20 hours due to some grandparent childcare and us each having a little time off each week. I wouldn't expect a SAHP to use childcare more than a couple of afternoons or mornings a week really (no problem with it, would just assume they wanted to be with the child).

He earns 100k
Of course you shouldn't have it. You can afford it if you budget and want him to attend more and love within your means

FYI just adding in case you hadn't looked at it and it's an option for you. Our local school has a nursery attached (I know not all do). This often isn't full although the school itself is oversubscribed. It was only £50 a week to send there. And depending on location some got it for free - not based on salary at all.

Genuinely not being snarky, but the low wages comment made me chuckle because childcare in the UK is so expensive. Two kids in childcare would be way above the take-home pay of many professional jobs such as teachers, midwives and social workers. My sister in law said it was roughly about her take home salary - she's a GP. Without 30 hours, most households would have to have a SAHP.

@Viggooooh if it’s a Nursery Class (ie for 3-4 year olds) attached to a state primary school it should be free because children attend 3 hours a day, Monday to Friday - so that’s their 15 hours.
What were they charging 50 quid for?

Both parents have to be working anyway so just say that

You don't owe anyone any explanations.

However, why don't you aspire to have a means of earning more than minimum wage?

I presume if you’re a stay at home parent then they are probably aware your DH earns well already?

It’s none of their business but if it was me and it was close family then I’d just say we don’t qualify so it’s financially more sensible for me to stay at home with DS as we can’t afford for him to be in nursery.