If you don't qualify the the 30hrs- do you tell people?!

[WhatToDoAboutTheNosys]

MN please don't come at me with stealth boast accusations! I know we are in a very fortunate position but I do have a genuine question.

We have a toddler and my DH earns just over 100k, so we don't qualify for the 30hrs of childcare funding that will come into place soon. He's the sole earner and pays a very big chunk of tax, I grew up on benefits with a single parent family and I find it very surprising that with his income we are in a great comfortable position, but certainly not rolling in it like I would have imagined someone with this income would be.

When I'm chatting with people about childcare/preschool they say oh yeah you'll get your 30 hours, the thing is we aren't and we don't have the money to pay for those hours, so he won't be going in for them!

With acquaintances I just not and say uh huh, but with friends and family it's hard to have an honest conversation about our options and the hours he'll do without telling them how much he earns. Which I'd rather not do!

If anybody is in the same situation what do you do? If people we're close to start asking why we're not putting him in for his hours (he'll continue just with 1 day at childminder) shall I use say I don't want all of that time apart from him?!

Or if you found out your friend or family was on a salary like that would you see them differently? In the past I wonder if I'd have judged them thinking surely you must have so much free cash and are being tight, it might change my whole perception of them?

I don't want to get a job just to pay for him to go in fir the 30hrs in case that's suggested, I'm in the amazing position that I get to spend this time with him while he's young and I don't have a profession so it would be minimum wage that would be eaten by the nursery fees!

I don't want to get a job just to pay for him to go in fir the 30hrs in case that's suggested, I'm in the amazing position that I get to spend this time with him while he's young and I don't have a profession so it would be minimum wage that would be eaten by the nursery fees!

So, you don’t need them then. What’s the problem?

That’s not necessarily true. My little boy has just left a school nursery attached to his primary school that did 8:40-3:20 in two 3 hour sessions with a lunch break which wasn’t covered by the 30/15 hours funding. We also had the option of adding a school meal.

To make up for the lack of funding from government.

Might be she doesn't earn enough but her partner does. I am in the same position. Both have to be earning a certain amount for the 30.

Most nurseries are fine.

That's naughty as it forces you to pay up or go elsewhere

At Dtwins school nursery, lunch is included in the 6 hours altho you pay for the lunch / send a packed lunch. Means schools out at 2.40. To make it to normal finishing time of you have siblings there you can pay to 3.25 or you can collect at 2.40.

Can I ask how much you pay per day/week?

I guess it depends on your peer group but I wouldn't find it a brag or uncomfortable.

Our NCT group chat was discussing claiming tax free childcare and a couple of people said they weren't eligible (same threshold of 100k), but I wouldn't think of them as being vastly different to the rest of us in terms of lifestyles.

Not sure how you can say you aren't rolling in it? I know someone in the same position. They can afford two lots of school fees etc.

Btw to those of us on minimum wage it is annoying to read comments about it not being worth working if it is only minimum wage. It actually pays bills etc for us. We have no choice. A snobby attitude.

Lots of good info and my mind is at ease knowing you both have to be working so it's a very easy reason to give.

I think we are the only people we know in this position, some may well have both earning just under 50k (and so take home more than us!) but so far everyone I chat with say the 30hrs like it's such a given that we'll get it.

DH income is salary mixed with commission so not very easy to sort the pension part and he's very black amd white so no tempted to twist the system.

With my own career I'm working on my own business at the moment which I'm hoping will grow as my DS gets to school, if it doesn't take off I'll retrain when he's school age so hopefully won't be in trouble if we divorce 😅

Agree with PP, you are very financially vulnerable and this is much more of a concern that nursery chit-chat!

I wouldn't tell anyone about your DHs income OP, it's not their business, but if you do get put under pressure you could say you're not entitled to it cos you don't work (assuming you're a SAHM).

It is so annoying that yet again, combined income up to the threshold is OK, but one income up to the threshold is not when the amount of take home pay is much less with only one tax allowance. I think it's actually discriminatory, just like child benefit is.

@AlwaysFrazzled88 ALL children are entitled to 15 hours of free education from the age of 3 (in England - not sure about Wales and NI).
A school charging for extras shouldn’t be happening the same as they shouldn’t be asking parents of children in Year 1 or 5 or 8 or whatever to pay for extra (they can ask - but can’t enforce it).
@Ewanismydreamsheep my daughter’s primary - and most of the local primary schools where I live do morning and afternoon sessions (3 hours each). Some children did do both sessions and if they had the school lunch had to pay for that.
They didn’t charge for the “full timers” but this was a decade ago things might have changed now.

Even tho many of your friends have similar incomes combined, it is weird discussing this stuff with people you barely know
I have the WC council estate version. Most of our kids at school have at least one SAHP and most of them qualify for the free 15 hours from 2. We qualified for eldest due to medical stuff but not for Dtwins. Head Teacher would loudly ask when I was sending my kids to her. I'd normal vol say we didn't qualify. She'd loudly ask why not and we should check etc. We Def didn't, not a stealth brag, the threshold is low. But then you'd have other parents at the gate asking when they were starting, why not at 2 etc. Then when we qualified for 30 hours despite me not working that really perplexed people! It's just not a conversation I want to have with everyone and he's only on an average wage

@AlwaysFrazzled88 did you miss my opening statement and how I grew up on a very low income so have some perspective? Maybe your friend has a low or no mortgage, inheritance etc we all have different situations. I have said we're in a very fortunate position but we couldn't dream of private school fees. Nor would I want to pay them because I don't agree either private school given my childhood.

I imagine you will get nursery funded hours, so you get to keep your minimum wage income to pay your bills. This whole discussion is the fact we'd pay the full fees and if I'm in the amazing position I can spend time with my son why would I do that

It was £4 a day so still a massive amount less than the private nursery’s would have been even with funding. I was looking at it still being around £200 a month for 3 days but I was paying £80ish a month for 4 days. One of us is home with our toddler anyway so we don’t need full day or school holiday care.

Surely it’s not hugely different to yours charging for them to stay until the rest of the school finishes? Just a different part of the day is paid for.

Yes they are but nurseries have to charge for some things like lunch because of the lack of funding. It is well known. Yes we do pay for things in the later years. £12 for a school trip for example.

This situation shows up the problem of tax rates and benefits etc being based on income not household income. This needs to change.

All of our local pre schools or nurseries charge extra for funded hours but the school is one of the cheapest. The local not for profit preschool charges for the lunch session as well. I think it probably varies by local authority and what funding they offer.

I can see why you feel a bit awkward about it but now you know both parents have to work you have the perfect explanation.

I once casually said we didn't get child benefit any more because of DH's earnings on a moms night out and it was a bit awkward.

Turns out everyone else in the group had very low joint incomes and didn't even know there was a cut off point, it was a bit awkward but I just hadn't realised. I think it depends on where you live and who you're talking to.

Two incomes on 49k pa would take home 5766 pm (8% pension). Also 150pm child benefit.

One income of 100k is 5411 (8% pension).

given the vast cost of childcare above the 30th free hours, and other costs; travel, lunches etc that you take into account when working, for two working parents, I think you need to understand that you actually are far better off than two working parents on just under 50k.

@AlwaysFrazzled88 well yes parents do (and always have) need to pay for certain things at state schools - lunches (except KS1), uniforms, schools trips etc. But what a state school cannot do is say “if your child is attending this school you have to pay £50 a month” and deny them a place if you don’t.
If the school has a Nursery Class then they really shouldn’t be charging anything (except for lunch if the child stays).

Unsure if massively relevant, but the £100k is for a single earner and not joint income. So you could both earn £99k each and still be eligible! Equally, if OP got a job, she still wouldn't be eligible as her partner earns over 100k. At least I'm pretty sure that's correct.

Tbh, it's never really come up. We would still have to pay loads if we had the 30 hours for top ups.

If you don't work more than 16 hours your not entitled to it no matter what you oh earns. Just tell them that you don't work enough to qualify if you want to otherwise say no were not taking it up.

@Gettinagoldtoof very good points but 2 parents on 49k also get 2 sets of tax free allowance income and child benefit too.

Not that I was meaning to be here go discuss this, but a perfect example of why it could be awkward to have these discussions as the talk of nursery could quickly get into all this!