Disappointed in a Summer child

[Fayegirl]

I am due a baby very soon, we had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant and so we're delighted to find out we were expecting. Our due date is in August which initially didn't matter to me, except being heavily pregnant in the heat, however a few "friends" have made comments that he'll be one of the youngest in his year group and will struggle. One actually said it was a "shame" he wasn't conceived a month later to have a September birthday. This has really brought me down and made me feel quite sad about the pregnancy and worry that'll I'll feel this way when he is born and then starting school etc. My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way. Has anyone else felt this way? Did the feelings go when they got a bit older?

I really don't think being born in August is a negative label that one will struggle to shake off!!
That is being overly dramatic. And there are benefits to being born in the summer too, eg health ones as a pp pointed out.

The (possible) negatives are due only to starting school earlier than average.The issue for summer borns is only one in England/Wales anyway where school start dates are so regimented around Sept. Scotland's dates are different, not sure about NI. In other European countries children tend to start later or there's more flexibility around starting so this is very much a local issue.

Lots of people have reassuring stories for the OP, and you're right of course in that people are individuals. However, it is a fact that, as a group and at a population level, starting school younger does negatively impact this group in some ways. There are lots of studies showing this, you can look them up if you want. That does not mean an individual child can't do exceptionally well starting young, as so many factors influence this, but if you take 1000 or 10,000 children the patterns around age emerge. It is for this very reason that the government allows summer borns to defer starting.

OP can defer her child's school start if she wants. She has loads of time to look into this and make her decision. I would strongly advise her to look at the studies on the subject as well as to individual opinions on here. The research is there to read.

Congratulations and enjoy your beautiful baby OP. This is nothing to worry about - truly - as you have options re school start and there are benefits to being born in summer too.

Just going to add myself to the growing list of academically successful August babies! My birthday is late August. I started school just a week or so after turning 4 and have always been one of the "top" in my class. Went to a grammar school, 4 As at A2 level, got a 1st class undergrad and Distinction in my masters. I'm pretty sure that if I remember rightly, those who did well at school and those who struggled had birthdays evenly spread across the year. What matters is how well your babe is supported in making the most of their natural abilities and interests.

Also, I'd recommend taking a flexible approach to birthday celebration dates - when I was growing up my birthday celebrations usually lasted several weeks to allow for always having friends on holiday on the day itself!

I didn't say being born in August was a negative label. It was specifically this quote from another poster than I was referring to, there's nothing positive about it:

'summerborns will always be disadvantaged'

And I was the poster who referenced the health benefits to being born in the summer.

I actually looked up the guidance to deferring a school place for the first time today. It's really not an easy process so for people to glibly say, just defer doesn't seem right to me.

Sorry @Jijithecat, didn't realise it was you who had referenced health benefits.

I still think you're reading too much into pps statement. As a group who start school earlier than other children summerborns are disadvantaged - as a group. Lots of studies have found this to be true. It's a fact and no point in getting irate about it or cross with people who reference it. They may be tactless, but they're not wrong, at least not as long as they're talking about populations and not individuals (and I took pps statement to mean summerborns as a group).

At an individual level, how any particular child will be affected by the timing of their birth is difficult to predict. It may have very little effect, or it may combine with other factors to influence outcomes.

My husband was the one who didn’t want a summer baby but sadly, due it taking ages to conceive, our baby actually arrived mid-August.

We always knew we were going to defer his school start so I was never worried about that and he started school just after his 5th birthday instead of just after his 4th birthday.

Changing the start dates of Summer Borns is so common now, so imagine how even more common it will be in 4-5 years when you are dealing with this so your worry is so unnecessary.

Don’t let this non-issue ruin your pregnancy and just ignore everyone around you x

@Marynotsocontrary I started typing quite a long response because this topic has led me to some interesting research and conclusions. However I realised that I shouldn't derail the OPs thread more than I already have.
I maintain my position that whilst there may be gaps, there's nothing wrong with summer born children. People should be able to advocate for their children, but they shouldn't write them off before they are born.
I'm bowing out now and hiding the thread.

@Jijithecat Nobody has said there's a thing wrong with summer born children!! That's entirely your own misconception! Some people have said they might be starting school a little too early under the current system.
Not sure if you'll see this or not, but just wanted to clear that up anyway.