Disappointed in a Summer child

[Fayegirl]

I am due a baby very soon, we had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant and so we're delighted to find out we were expecting. Our due date is in August which initially didn't matter to me, except being heavily pregnant in the heat, however a few "friends" have made comments that he'll be one of the youngest in his year group and will struggle. One actually said it was a "shame" he wasn't conceived a month later to have a September birthday. This has really brought me down and made me feel quite sad about the pregnancy and worry that'll I'll feel this way when he is born and then starting school etc. My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way. Has anyone else felt this way? Did the feelings go when they got a bit older?

Why do people say such ridiculous things? It’s just nonsense and it’s mean and you should just ignore their stupidity.

Also, what kind of friend puts pressure on a pregnant woman like that?!

What a bitch to say that to you. She’s no friend. What are you supposed to do - go back in time?! Give away this baby and try again ?!

From a personal perspective it’s utter bollocks. My birthday is at the end of August. I started school along with kids almost a year older. I ended up in the top five of my grammar school class. It never once held me back. Some older kids will struggle, some younger kids will struggle. Nothing is written in the stars. If it turns out to be a problem then you deal with it then.

It might be an issue for a year or so but after a while it balances out.

Rubbish. I was the youngest kid in my year. I went to a shit comprehensive in the north east and I got into Oxford. Don't fret!

Please ignore your friends. People are very weird about ‘summer-borns’ but it’s groundless. Do you ever hear adults worrying about being born in august? My DD is mid-august born and is working above the expected level in most subjects at school. Also, if you do decide when the time comes that he isn’t ready for school aged four, there is now the option to defer.

People are weird. I had DD late August unexpectedly, she was 6 weeks prem. Not 5 hours after giving birth SIL was sending me links to our local authority procedure for holding a child back a year when they start school, unprompted I might add. DD is now 3 and no different to any other child her age, unless anything drastic changes she will go to school when she has just turned 4. It is not an absolute guarantee that your child will struggle. I would be wary with these 'friends' that they aren't going to be the sort to lecture you and pick at your parenting choices, undermining your confidence and making you feel shit.

My DC have July birthdays. I kept them back an extra year in pre-school and have never regretted it. One didn't recognize numbers and letters as well as the other children and the other was quiet and retiring and needed an extra year to gain confidence. They did very well at school and I noticed the children that did similarly well were Summer born who had been kept back.

It does make a difference when school starts as a nearly five year old has lived 25% longer than a just turned 4 year old, but I think everything evens out in a few years anyway if holding them back isn't an option. Just don't let them label themselves as non-academic or 'stupid' if they find the first few years tougher than the other children. They just simply haven't lived as long.

My friend is the same. She is now a renal consultant. One of the smartest in our year.

Ignore them op! DS is a July baby and got one of the best GCSE results in his year. I'll be honest and say it did make a difference when he was starting school as he was so young so we kept him in nursery for an extra term. But once he got to 6/7 then you couldn't tell the difference.

The youngest bloke in my year was born on 31st August and he's an investment banker that's made millions! It didn't hold him back.

Just don't let them label themselves as non-academic or 'stupid' if they find the first few years tougher than the other children. They just simply haven't lived as long

And by the same token, don't be surprised if they are top of their classes from the outset!

Omg so controlling!

I love my July birthday. Summer. Outside parties. People not fed up with giving presents as it's mid year. I did fine at school.

My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way

Your partner is right.

Plus, there are advantages and disadvantages to having your birthday at any time of year.
From your pov, it is nice not to have to pay childcare for an extra year as you do with a September birthday, for example.
From your child's pov, it is lovely to have a Summer birthday for the rest of your life.
Having an August birthday does NOT mean you will struggle either socially or academically. Having a September birthday does NOT mean you will cruise through school.

I'm a August baby and love having my birthday in the summer. I have now one of the better jobs amongst my friends. You're not at school your entire life! Pretty mean friends, please ignore them.

It'll be fine OP. I have a summer toddler and she is amazing, has just started in her preschool nursery room and is doing really well. I have no worries about her being ready for school next year. Plus the bonus of a year less nursery fees than winter born babies!

None issue. Iv got a July 4 year old starting school in sept, she's excelling and ahead of her peers in preschool.
Iv also got a September born who will be 1 this time, I actually wish she was born 4 days earlier so she would be an august baby and I didn't have an extra year of childcare to deal with.

I have 2 summer term babies, earlier than August so I didn't feel justified in going down a delayed entry route, plus they go to private primary school and likely to do 11+ so it would be difficult with entry to senior schools. I do feel disappointed in it, especially as I would have liked to plan for a summer born but it took ages to conceive dc1 and by the time it happened there was no way I could put it off for a few months. Then I managed to conceive with a Sep due date but we lost that one. DC1 is in Reception and the difference between her and the older dc is noticeable. I think she has additional issues as well which doesn't help.

There is nothing I can so about it now and I'm sure DCs will find their own place regardless, but the evidence is pretty conclusive regarding the disadvantages of being summer born and it continues far beyond the primary years.

My almost 10 year old arrived a few weeks early, in late August. I’m a teacher so it was already on my mind, not helped by one gobby colleague telling me a few months earlier that “summer girls do ok, summer boys are a nightmare”
in terms of education/school. We already knew we were having a boy at this point 😂
Anyway, DS has always consistently got Exceeding in most things since he started school. Academically he’s flying. Emotionally I felt he was a little behind some of the older kids in the first few years but you couldn’t tell now (except for the height difference 😂). He also has lots of friends who are summer born which is nice.
My DD is a June baby and again flying at school and no problems socially.
Oh and one more - I had two friends at primary school both born on 28th August! Both (according to Facebook 😂) doing very well for themselves and didn’t struggle at school!
So really, really don’t worry, it’s not about when you’re born but parental input in the early years/a degree of luck that makes the difference!

The only problem about being born in August is not getting as many birthday gifts as the other kids because people are on holiday then but that also means you can save on the big birthday parties and you can use some of that money for a nicer present, so I reckon you'll both be winners!

DD1 and her partner were both August babies. DD1 got 5 straight As in her Advanced Highers (Scotland), a maths degree from Durham uni and a job as a senior risk analyst with a major bank headquarters. Her partner got a degree in Engineering from Herriot Watt uni and a well paid role with the Met Office.
It never occurred to either me or her partner’s parents that our respective children might be disadvantaged by their birthdays, and they obviously weren’t!

Is April classed as late? I was one of the youngest in my class and did not struggle. Really do not get this stuff

My 28-08 baby has done exceptionally well. It's a non-issue.

I’d strongly suggest you defer them and apply to LA for them to start in reception at just turned 5.
Problem solved!

Your friends are very unkind.

DS is a July baby and performed far better than his September and October born friends in theurt GCSEs. His girlfriend is August born and is predicted 4 A*s in her A Levels and is (hopefully) applying to Oxford.

Congratulations on your new baby!