Disappointed in a Summer child

[Fayegirl]

I am due a baby very soon, we had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant and so we're delighted to find out we were expecting. Our due date is in August which initially didn't matter to me, except being heavily pregnant in the heat, however a few "friends" have made comments that he'll be one of the youngest in his year group and will struggle. One actually said it was a "shame" he wasn't conceived a month later to have a September birthday. This has really brought me down and made me feel quite sad about the pregnancy and worry that'll I'll feel this way when he is born and then starting school etc. My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way. Has anyone else felt this way? Did the feelings go when they got a bit older?

Your friend was odd to talk about it.
But .... she has a point, statistically summer borns fare worse. That's a fact! And it lasts right through school and in to adulthood. Look up some statistics of attainment by birth month. Mental health outcomes too.
However, obviously that's not to many some summer burns won't thrive and some autumn borns struggle as the stats are overall. I have a shy but smart august born nearly 3 year old who I am considering delaying. I want her to thrive, not just survive and at that age social confidence is much more important than knowing the alphabet.

Well my summer born exceeds expectations in several areas, but academics aren't everything. Health wise it would seem that summer borns have the advantage according to a Cambridge Uni study.

'The results reveal that babies born in June, July and August were heavier at birth and taller as adults. For the first time, the study also revealed that girls born in the summer started puberty later – an indication of better health in adult life.'
OP, get better friends.

Forgot to post the study link
https://www.mrc-epid.cam.ac.uk/blog/2015/10/12/children-born-summer-healthy-as-adults/

What's your due date? The average baby for a ftm is late, so might still be a September baby

Both my sisters babies were August babies, both late teens now.

They both are SEN and would have really benefited going at just 5, instead of just 4. She says she thinks she should have pushed for that instead of sending them so soon. Anyway they are fine. Nothing that my sister is losing sleep over.

Just something to consider as an option.

I was an August baby, I stayed down a year when I was 7. It was ok, I made friends and had friends in the year above. I went on to get all my GCSEs and A levels, was head girl of the school, then uni blah blah, doing alright now. I have an August baby too and he is just taking life at his pace. Try to let it go, as you enter Motherhood you will find 'friends' have a lot of opinions, but you'll also find a new confidence in yourself. Enjoy the rest of you pregnancy. Oh and I think I've only ever worked about 5 birthdays as I have continued my holidays then! August babies rock! x

If in England Caravanvirgin is wrong. You can delay starting school until they are five, but they go straight into year one , with their peers. You can't delay and hold them back a year. However being a summer baby is not always a problem, my August birthday child has a first in Economics from Bath and is now on a highly sought after graduate scheme with a top company. My July born child is in her third year of a medicine degree.

This study compared people as adults, so they were the same age. At school, you are comparing outcomes when the children are different ages: summer born children will always be the youngest when compared with others in their year group. So summerborns will always be disadvantaged. An August child is 11 months young than a September born one. At just turned 4 years old - the gap in development is huge; much larger than the inherent weight difference that the study found.

To the OPs situation - it is ridiculous of your friend to bring it up! Who can plan a baby's birthdate!

Please ignore those comments, my child is youngest in her class and is absolutely thriving. She is academically bright and host most of the school plays and functions.

What an insensitive thing to say for a friend. Please ignore them. I have always loved having a summer birthday.
I think negative people will find something bad to say about any birth month, whilst positive people will find something lovely in the very same thing.
I hope you have more positive people around you than negative.
Best wishes to you and your family, August is a fantastic month to be born 🌸

@DieselBlue89 I find the suggestion that my child is disadvantaged because they are summer born pretty bloody offensive.
Sure it can make a difference but it doesn't define them. As I said before my child exceeds expectations in several areas academically. They represent the school in sports. My child is popular with their peers and good company. My child is also taller than a number of their winter born friends. Hardly sounds like a disadvantaged child.

Few people get to choose the month that their child is born. It's not something that we have huge control over. What we can do is love, support and nurture our children and that I believe will make far more difference in their lives.

This is incorrect. I'm in England, my summer born is starting reception at 5 this year. They don't have to go into year one.

@Jijithecat there are numerous studies showing advantages of being autumn born (and disadvantages of being summerborn). These studies are based on means of the population, rather than anecdotal reports, so of course there will be deviations from the norm, like in your case.

I'm sorry you were offended but as a summerborn myself with an August born DS (who we delayed one year to go into reception at age 5) as well as an October-born, I can't understand why me saying summerborns are disadvantaged is offensive.

@DieselBlue89 do you look at Prince George and see a disadvantaged child just because he was born in July? I certainly don't.
There's nothing positive about the word disadvantaged is there. Don't just assume that children need levelling up just because they were born in summer months.

You sound defensive @Jijithecat, but @DieselBlue89is talking about findings made at a population level. There is no assumption that any individual child will need levelling up, it's just a risk factor that's all.

No @Marynotsocontrary I sound like someone who doesn't like labels. They're difficult to shake off. People are individuals, they don't follow a set pattern.
Holding a child back on a year in their life is a huge decision to make. You only have to look at university funding to see the difference. Children starting university this year will pay substantially more than those who started the previous year. Enough to sway someone's decision whether to go to uni or not. This thread is full of people saying their child has succeeded.

Nonsense. I'm a late summer baby so is one of my children. They did very well at school.

My 7yo DS is an August baby and we just got his school report saying he's working well within or above in every subject, no behaviour issues. Depends on child of course but it's not a given they'll be behind. We thought about deferring but glad we didn't. By the time your child gets to 3 you'll know if they seem ready for school the Sept they're 4 or not. Then decide.

My little one is the very youngest in the year and has absolutely smashed the first year of school. Don’t worry about it!

I have an August birthday boy.
Upsides is he has his birthday in the summer holidays and we are usually away on a trip and make a big deal of it.

He's 17 this year. He's gone fro bring below expectation in Yr 2 (except emotional development), average year 6 to stellar gcse result and AAA predicted A levels.

The biggest thing I've found is not letting the system influence their own expectations of themselves. He is motivated and works hard.

And like you, I worried a lot and round have deferred if I could have.

Depends on the school and the secondaries in the area. If the secondary schools would jump them up to year 8 on arrival the primary will put them straight in year 1. If they will honour the change and let them in at year 7 the primary will let them start in reception. That was what I was told when I enquired at our local schools.

*would have

I have an August-born, who has ASD and ADHD, and quite honestly he has struggled, and is less mature than some of his peers. I think it would have done him the world of good to be in the year below. But, he is doing ok, has friends, and has come out with SATs of “working at expected level” despite always being a bit below expected through primary school.

I also have one born early in the school year, and I have had a whole extra year of childcare to pay for, which is crippling! So there are benefits 😊

My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way. - your partner is right!

Children's lives are ruled by school to an unhealthy degree, and for this poor child it is starting in utero!!

Get a grip!!

Please ignore this and enjoy your baby. I was born in August, as were many of my friends , we all have degrees and weren't held back at school/ didn't struggle. People do spout some crap about summer babies.