Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Disappointed in a Summer child

132 replies

Fayegirl · 17/07/2023 20:48

I am due a baby very soon, we had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant and so we're delighted to find out we were expecting. Our due date is in August which initially didn't matter to me, except being heavily pregnant in the heat, however a few "friends" have made comments that he'll be one of the youngest in his year group and will struggle. One actually said it was a "shame" he wasn't conceived a month later to have a September birthday. This has really brought me down and made me feel quite sad about the pregnancy and worry that'll I'll feel this way when he is born and then starting school etc. My partner thinks I'm being silly and that I should just be happy we have a healthy baby on the way. Has anyone else felt this way? Did the feelings go when they got a bit older?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Flamingoes12 · 17/07/2023 21:48

What shitty friends! I wouldn’t even waste another minute entertaining these thoughts.

AHalfWarmedFish · 17/07/2023 21:49

Well I’m august and my brother is July, we went to a fairly average state comp and became a doctor and a lawyer so summer birthday not such a huge disadvantage for us.

I loved summer birthday parties. And I loved Christmas and our birthdays being opposite ends of the year so never ages and ages without a celebration.

some “friend” stressing you out about this total non issue

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 17/07/2023 21:50

One of the brightest kids o knew was an August baby. You can always defer a year . See how you feel later on,have the baby first 😉

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Round123 · 17/07/2023 21:51

You won’t be paying for a years extra of nursery fees!!! The cleverest most successful people are born at all times of the year :)

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 17/07/2023 21:51

You can defer them and start them at just 5. That's a decision you don't need to worry about or even think about for at least 3 years.

plus if you're due the second half of august they might not arrive until September anyway! Both of mine were born the month after they were due! Or if you'd conceived a month later they could be early!

ignore your friends and enjoy looking forward to this precious bundle.

WeightoftheWorld · 17/07/2023 21:52

As first PP said, if you want they can start reception at 5 instead anyway so don't worry about that. Enjoy your baby! I have a summer born DC and they will be starting reception at 5 this autumn.

Glitterstars · 17/07/2023 21:53

Not an issue. My 1st born is an august baby and starts school in September. She had her settling sessions last week and walked in like the little boss she is without knowing anyone in it. I have a lot of friends kids who are all starting school at the same time and there is no difference alot of them say she is the brightest.
when we were thinking of having a second I did say I would prefer an autumn winter baby not because I think summer babies are at a disadvantage just so that I have them for another year before going to school I feel a bit cheated out of a year with my first. My second is an autumn baby so will be nearly 5 by the time he starts school

PurpleButterflyWings · 17/07/2023 21:53

@Fayegirl

My two were born mid-June and late July - one year after the other.... Both ended up going to universities that are in the top 20 in the country - finishing with excellent results. Got very good grades in their A levels too... Both are in their late 20s - and on twice as much income as me and DH. One DC is on £57,000 (at 27 y.o,) the other one's on £65,000 at 28. (Midlands, not the south.) Both in highly respected professional careers, and very intelligent and talented.

They both have lovely homes that they are purchasing with their partner(s) and they both have a lovely car, they have both travelled quite a lot, and have been to 20-25 countries (each.) AND they have many friends and many hobbies - and an absolutely fantastic life

Unless your child is someone who struggles academically anyway - being born in August not is going to make any difference to them. They will still do well, and have a great life. Banging on about them being a mid summer baby is setting them up to FAIL.

Ignore the haters bashing you and wagging their finger(s.) They've probably got kids that aren't very smart or clever, and they're projecting.

ManuelBensonsLeftBoot · 17/07/2023 21:55

If you are due in the second half of August you could still have a September baby - only 5 percent arrive on the their due date. Mine was two and a half weeks late on absolutely confirmed (IVF) dates so instead of the 18th of month A he arrived on the 4th of month B. But even if you do get an August baby it's not a big deal. You can defer school if you think they are not going to be ready but DSs friends include a September born, a March born, a July born and a late August born. They are the 'geeky' top set kids. My summer born nephews and their winter born brothers all go to grammar school (of the ones that live in areas with grammar schools).

BadBarry · 17/07/2023 21:56

My experience of pregnancy is people are dicks and seem to have all sorts of odd things they want to impart, it's annoying and continues until atleast potty training but thankfully seems to ease off by then or maybe my tolerance levels of unwanted advice ran out by then, one or the other

Spottypineapple · 17/07/2023 21:59

So many threads like this - look around you at the adults you know. Are all the successful ones only autumn/winter born?

Marynotsocontrary · 17/07/2023 21:59

You can defer summer borns and start them when they turn 5. Congratulations and enjoy your baby.

SuperGinger · 17/07/2023 22:03

My DS is young and smal1l for his year definitely one of the smartest, yes it makes difference when you are four but at about 9/10 it all evens out

CanNeverThinkOfAName · 17/07/2023 22:03

Just to add to the other posters, my youngest has an end of July birthday and was already ahead of his peers when he started school in terms of reading, writing and numeracy and also height and social skills/maturity.

People were always shocked at how old he was and still are as he's 5ft 10 at almost 13. Someone thought he was his 22 year old brother's twin just recently! Neither of me or his Dad are unusually tall or extraordinarily intelligent.

He gets consistently top marks for all subjects and always has. Its innate in him as he loves learning and has the ability to retain it.

Just encourage your DC at home with a love of learning, lots of reading, learning to write, counting as part of play, social skills with adults and at nursery, self care in terms of doing up buttons, toileting etc in preparation for school and they'll be fine.

Thats a long way off though so for now just look forward to and enjoy your scrumptious new baby when they arrive.

OrlandointheWilderness · 17/07/2023 22:06

My DD was born on the 31st august. She has never struggled or fallen behind in any way. There is nothing to be sad about!

isitaline97 · 17/07/2023 22:06

I'm due august too, the 31st so it could go either way for me! As others have said you can possibly delay the school year. I was speaking to some friends about it who have summer children and she said it never affected her eldest - in fact she seemed quite mature compared some other children in her class who were almost a year older than her. Im not going to worry myself over it! Keep positive and best of luck!

OrlandointheWilderness · 17/07/2023 22:06

Oh she's 12 and attends the local grammar after flying through the 11+

Sickoffamilydrama · 17/07/2023 22:07

My September born DD is probably bottom of her class (she is autistic) and will always struggle.

My August born DD did struggle a little due to the family genetics of ADHD and dyslexia but she is happy and will probably do well in her GCSEs.

There's so many factors yes summer born children can find it difficult but so can many others for other reasons none of which you need to worry about now.

Honestly as well even though if I could I'd take away the difficulties my DD experiences in a heartbeat she is a better stronger more resilient and persistent person for not always having an easy life.

Don't let the fear of what maybe or may not be get you OP.

Yuja · 17/07/2023 22:08

DS is a July baby, hasn't been a big deal at all. I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to hold him back a year when you get to reception you can do. I didn't with DS and glad I haven't as he's absolutely fine but it's an option.

SallyWD · 17/07/2023 22:08

Oh don't worry! My son's best friend is an August baby. He seems to be the cleverest boy in the class. He always has been very bright and advanced. Even if your child struggles a bit when they start reception (in my experience they only struggle with tiredness) they'll soon catch up.

follygirl · 17/07/2023 22:09

Both my children are summer born, June and July. To be honest with my first I was just overjoyed that I became pregnant, with my second it happened a bit too quickly.
I would say my son was a bit immature compared to his peers but soon caught up.
They are both doing extremely well academically and seem more mature than some of their peers even though they might be 10 or 11 months younger.
Enjoy your lovely baby and ignore.

HermeticDawn · 17/07/2023 22:11

I’ve lived in a fair few countries and no other society views summer-born children with the sense sense of anxiety and disaster as the UK — in some cases, obviously it’s because there are less Draconian rules about school starting age, but in other countries with similar school starting rules, people just don’t think it’s a problem, or not to the extent of viewing conceiving a child who will be born in summer as a misstep!

I was born in late July, and my three siblings were born in June and August, and we have a total of fourteen degrees between us. DS is July- born and is top of his class.

Clingfilm · 17/07/2023 22:12

The only disadvantage is you're the last of your mates to take your driving test
Please don't worry, just look forward to meeting your new human!

Thosepeskyseagulls · 17/07/2023 22:13

I have a relative who is August birthday, crazy smart, got a big scholarship to a private school aged 11 and plays county sport.

toddlermum27 · 17/07/2023 22:13

Becoming more and more straightforward for summer borns to start school a year later so that they are the oldest in the year - in 5 years time you may not even have to ask permission to do so. Don't worry!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6