Aaaallll the birthday presents 😵‍💫

[SparklesTheSoupDragon]

DD turned 3 last week and had a party on Sunday. Having done my MN research, 20 kids were invited based on an expected 40-50% decline rate, particularly after a thread I read about people having only one weekend free between now and September, but also it’s a Sunday so religious reasons, activities/clubs for siblings, other parties, holidays, general ‘being busy’ that summer brings, family time, not to mention some parents just don’t like kids parties.

Obviously I ended up with 19 kids attending so I now have a box of 19 gifts very kindly given to DD 🙈 She’s 3, she doesn’t need another 9 presents, let alone 19. Is it morally acceptable to open them myself, give her a small selection of stuff she’ll like and keep the rest for future uses/charity shop? Or are they her birthday gifts and therefore she gets to open them all, maybe over a staggered period of time, and have a chance to play with them because someone has gone to the effort of selecting something for her (albeit from their generic present cupboard 😁)?

Save them and give her a few between now and xmas… then the rest are xmas presents 😁 saves you some money

Yeah I would keep them to stagger over the year!

Enter stage left, the birthday box!

Make a note of who has gifted what, and the excess goes into the birthday box so you can regift moon sand etc. make sure you don't regift to the original giver and you're off and running.

We have two boys. Before parties we'd put a bet on which Lego would be duplicated and how many they'd receive. Knackered mums all went to the same local garden centre so you knew that it would be one of three 'styles' !! (this was before amazon was de jour).

All part of the joys of birthdays.

It's DS's 3rd birthday party in a few weeks, 18 kids confirmed coming. I'm not sure what to do with all the gifts, I was thinking staggering them too. I'm trying to limit gifts from grandparents and we're only getting him 1 or 2 things. He really doesn't need so much.

I was incredibly ruthless when my DS was younger, most toys went straight to the charity shop. He never knew and my house wasn't swamped in clutter.

Put them away for a rainy day. Or for when she is under the weather. Do you visit grandparents? My parents used to keep a box of toys - they were often quite silly little things but my DC loved getting them out even when they were too old for them.

Yeah. Rainy day. Or if you are ill, give them that day.

At 3 you give her some of the ones she will like. Save a larger amount of good ones for future birthdays( note who gave what) and the poundshop tat can go to charity or Pta at school. Always done this right up to age 10. I’m always saying, only open it if you’re sure you’ll play with it otherwise I’ll give you a couple of pounds in exchange.

Stagger them e.g bring them out on a rainy day and if there's any dupes or ones they wouldn't like then charity/re-gift.

But make sure you open them and thank the giver - I have friends who just leave them in the wrapping paper and then give them to child for Xmas etc (from them) but it means the giver never gets a proper thank you. I always like to say 'thanks for the pyjamas, he loves paw patrol' or whatever at the time.

Honestly for me the view always was this is their stuff and they get to have it. We did at.times spread it out over a few days and I often put things away for later often after conversation with the child.

However I don't want them to go through my stuff and decide what has value to me abd what doesn't so I tried to model that behaviour to them. Even at 3 they get. We will put the craft ones away for later. And what 2 would you like to play with now and then we tidy these away into this box and look at them another day for you to pick 2.

Yes it resulted in stuff but my kids have never gone through my stuff 😀

Oh my goodness, all that stuff, all that money, all that waste. Is there not a better way of doing this that saves everyone the hassle and expense and doesn't end up in so much plastic in the environment?

Apologies if I know nothing.

Looks like I'll be a lone voice saying let your kid have the gifts!

Some of the parents might have taken trouble to find something they think your child would love - perhaps getting inspiration from what their child loves and I think it's mean spirited to not let your child open them or for you to try to appreciate what was bought. Once you know what is there you can decide to put away/re-gift anything your child is not interested in or put away some for a (literal) rainy day.

At age 3 I would do exactly as you've suggested OP.

I’d give your child the gifts. This weird competitive parenting for who can give more of their child’s gifts to the charity shop is weird af.

Tip for next year….don’t invite 20 children. You don’t need more than 5 or 6 for a fun birthday party.

Surely one of the joys of a birthday party is diving into the black plastic sack of presents when you get home? Sometimes a bit of excess is fun. It only happens a few times!

Let your child open them.

Write down who gave what. Some people buy really nice gifts and its good to reciprocate. Some are just really cheap.

Send a message of thanks - ie thank you so much for DC doll, she loved it.

Then let the DC play with a couple of things at a time. Its there to be enjoyed.

You could stagger it or get rid of tat (if you put in present cupboard remember who it came from 😬) obviously don't give duplicates but at 3 my dc would probably have noticed if I'd given them significantly less or 'where's the pink sporty one' if I'd saved a few back 😅. Good luck getting away with it they can be more astute than you think at this age

We do what @ChristmasLightsLover does

Cultivate friendships with kids with we lazy parents... kids friends got a fiver in a card. Kids parents were happy.

(Responses were usually "brilliant, putting it towards a big toy", "spending it on their holiday goodies" etc)

You need to let your child open them, she'll naturally gravitate to 2-4 things, keep those out. The rest go into storage for a toy rotation. Every 6-8 weeks toys should be rotated to encourage variations in play and imagination, so this helps you. We always let our DC keep the toys they naturally preferred, any books and craft things were added to our existing stocks, anything that was too young/old for them was regifted. I keep a cupboard of stuff they've not opened (by choice) and they can pick from this stuff to give to their friends. I top it up with stuff from the Black Friday/boxing day sales so their friends always get nice gifts at a fraction of the ticket price

I don't know anyone who doesn't let their kid open their birthday presents. How miserable. Yes it's a lot but most of it will be craft based so you can use it up.

I just stagger them

But thank everyone and explain that overwhelmed with lovely gifts so plan to stagger them

the presents are unlikely to be that specific to your daughter

Let them open the gifts. They are 3 and will forget, they can keep the favourites and reuse/donate ones that won't get used.