Aaaallll the birthday presents 😵‍💫

[SparklesTheSoupDragon]

DD turned 3 last week and had a party on Sunday. Having done my MN research, 20 kids were invited based on an expected 40-50% decline rate, particularly after a thread I read about people having only one weekend free between now and September, but also it’s a Sunday so religious reasons, activities/clubs for siblings, other parties, holidays, general ‘being busy’ that summer brings, family time, not to mention some parents just don’t like kids parties.

Obviously I ended up with 19 kids attending so I now have a box of 19 gifts very kindly given to DD 🙈 She’s 3, she doesn’t need another 9 presents, let alone 19. Is it morally acceptable to open them myself, give her a small selection of stuff she’ll like and keep the rest for future uses/charity shop? Or are they her birthday gifts and therefore she gets to open them all, maybe over a staggered period of time, and have a chance to play with them because someone has gone to the effort of selecting something for her (albeit from their generic present cupboard 😁)?

Alright folks, calm down, I’m not charity shopping anything right now, it was just a thought!

For those who gave me hope that I’d have mostly books and craft stuff? We’re over half way (11 presents solely OPENED BY DD) and have 2 gifts which match the books/crafts theme.

For those who have suggested if I don’t want loads of prezzies I should just tell people, a) I did but b) as per the recent thread on here about showing up to a kids party without a gift, no one is going to really take much notice & do that, c) she turned 3, even with the best will in the world, not many are going to think she’d enjoy a £5 Amazon voucher and, while I’m at it, d) this isn’t school, very few of her friends have older siblings so the novelty of birthday parties is still to wear off on most parents. The time for sticking some pound coins to a card (which I LOVED as a kid) has not yet arrived.

And @Horsemadlady1234 Id be delighted for you to go through my birthday presents and siphon out those you don’t think I need or want. My mum buys a lot of tat and likes to actively choose something I have not asked for so having someone do that task for me beforehand would be a yes from me.

Opening her presents from her party is part of the pleasure of her special day. Let her enjoy opening the presents from her friends. This is her time to have big parties, open lots of presents, enjoy feeling special! There is plenty of time to be sensible and moderate when you’re an adult! Any that she doesn’t take an interest in can be spirited away to the charity shop.

Presumably we all know our children?

my two - to have 30 odd presents in one go? Not for them. Too much, a bit boring, and invariably they’ll just want to focus on one.

so staggering is in their interests, they love to come down to brekkie the next day after their birthday and have half a dozen waiting for them.

and then in the evening before bed on pillow, another handful

but if your child is one that enjoys all in one blow out - then fair enough and that’s what you do

Do you send thank yous to parents who sent gifts at nursery parties?
I took my DS to 2x 4 year olds parties but never got a thank you for either gift so assumed that was the norm

We do, it’s both good manners and also occupies DD for ages and is writing practice. Win win.
She spends a rainy day making cards and using up all the craft stuff given…

I do also send a thank you text “thank you for
coming and for DD’s lovely present” message afterwards too as the thank you cards can be a bit delayed in creation.

We open them all, send thank you texts, and then i take a few things away to be regifted etc. Usually there are a few duplicate presents.

Parents usually message to ask what to buy or DS anyway

This! MN is so ott when it comes to gifts- nothing better as a child than a load of presents to dive into.

For your child perhaps

my two? Nah. They open one - they want to play with it immediately. They don’t want to be forced to move on and open another and another and another just to satisfy an adult’s view on what is “nothing better”

@Hateitissues they don't need to be moved on. They open one, they play, when ready they open another. That's why you give them time to do it. Even better that they get the excitement and time to play.

Let her open them... it's her birthday and only once a year. Then sort out with her what she wants to keep and what she doesn't (including older toys). Take her to the charity shop or wherever else to gift what she doesn't want and teach her about sharing. Get her to 'write' thank you cards for the gifts

I must be an anomaly’s. Let her open her. That’s the fun bit. Then see her reactions to what she is despaired to keep. Any duplicates pop away for re gifting and then once she’s gone to bed pop the rest in a toy cupboard for her to choose every now and then to open properly and play with.

we had a nursery party at age 4 and had 3+ kids came. DD loved opening the wrapping but wasn’t desperate to rip open boxes and play with everything. Some people had got her toys, books, clothes, craft stuff so there was actually a bit of a mix. She’s a summer birthday and her party was joint with someone else who’s birthday was before the summer holiday. So we staggered to opening of toys from their boxes over the summer. Any that were played with once but then ignored when the novelty wore off went straight on the charity bag.

Should say 30+ kids at the nursery present.
loafs more typos 🤦‍♀️ fat fingers to blame

They are her presents that another parent has bought for her of course you should give them to her and let her open them.

Agree with this. I also think that it's really tight to keep the gifts and pass them off as Christmas presents! What an insult if the givers found out that was happening. When ds was small keeping his presents gifted to him from him just wouldn't have occurred to me.

So you were fine with your kids having 3 copies of frustration,or 2 copies of a book etc?

It's got nothing to do with duplicate presents. I think it's mean to withhold presents from a child and dishonest to pass them off as Xmas presents from yourself. I let my ds open his presents on his birthday ans and if duplicates occurred they were donated to charity.

Dictionary meaning of the word "ruthless "

"having or showing no pity or compassion for others, cruel"

I hope you chose a charity shop that the parents didn't go in...

same problem for DD’s 5th birthday but on a bigger scale. I let her open all the presents, wrote down who bought what, asked her to her write the thank you’s herself which she enjoyed (appreciate a younger child couldn’t do this!). We got a lot of single use craft/making sets which I bring out on a rainy day or when she has a friend round. Other presents were books, hair accessories, pyjamas etc which she needed and are easy to store.

I usually let the kids open them all but put most in my cupboard and let them pick something new to play with on rainy days or holidays.

I bought gifts for the birthday child, so for me they should have the fun of opening them and playing with them on their birthday.

Again, I promise faithfully I’m not sending any of DD’s gifts to a charity shop. Although I’m not sure anyone would be able to definitively identify “their” copy of Tabby McTat if they came across one in the local charity shop.

Latest count: we’re 14 gifts in, still at 2 craft gifts/books.