Is having 2 kids close together a nightmare?

[Zoe1023]

Hi all. I currently have a 6 month old baby, my husband is keen to have 2 close together as he reckons it will be better in the long run and easier to get it out for the way (not for me, I don’t think!).
I’m thinking of getting pregnant again when my baby is 1, but am terrified having 2 close together will be too difficult. Despite the sleep deprivation I’m loving being a mum and have felt it isn’t as ‘bad’ as everyone told me it would be.

However I hated being pregnant and felt miserable throughout. I don’t think I can face another pregnancy (I had terrible nausea and sickness up to 20 weeks last time) with a toddler too, the mum guilt is already there as it is. I’m worrying about leaving her to go back to work which I’m trying to work on.

My sister and I are 18 months apart so I know how lovely it is from their perspective, but I’m selfishly thinking of myself. I think deep down I’d rather wait a couple more years but then sometimes think I should just get it all out of the way? My husband is hands on but I feel very consciously that as mum the burden is always on you.

Sorry for rambling.. really I’m just looking for honest accounts from a mum’s perspective of what it’s like to have a two year age gap/if you waited and what that was like too. Thanks x

I think a two year gap is a normal gap. Mine were 21 months apart. It was quite hard at the start but brilliant after that.

Not really the point of this thread but my God my DD's nappy changes were absolutely horrendous, she hated it so much, I used to feel physically anxious about having to do it in public places as you'd hear the screaming from miles away and I'd have to keep her pinned down etc. Anyway we toilet trained her at 26 months due to that and it was ace! Took about a week for it to be completely sorted with no more accidents and that was that. Sooo much easier and less stressful (and less gross and less expensive) than nappies!

25 months apart here. It's tough but they play together and we were in the baby years consistently for a while and now coming out of it.
They want to do the same days out, play with the same toys.
We'll have GCSEs and alevels in the same year which may or may not be an issue.
I enjoy seeing how close they are and I hope it's a life long bond.

Basically 2 years and one month.

Yes 25 months is 2 years and 1 month. I don't understand your point?

I had twins and a third when they just turned 2. No it's not a nightmare. It's hard sometimes and i constantly worry I don't live in the moment enough because I have so much to do but it is mainly lovely.

I thing having a big age gap is hard. Especially for doing stuff as a family

15 months between mine that was planned. The 1st year of the second baby's life was a blur but, overall, it's been great because they've been roughly the same stage developmentally. So they do the same clubs, good friends with each others friends etc.

They're the best of friends too. The older one didn't have a chance to get jealous because they knew no different.

21 month gap between mine and the first 6 months was definitely very hard work, even with a very placid "easy" baby like DC2. I hadn't really realised that I would have one small baby and one big baby, it was a lot of work and a lot of nappies. Fortunately several of my friends also had 2 under 2 at the same time so I had some company and understanding. DC1 had zero interest in the new baby so there was no jealousy, and they have been at similar stages for interests and hobbies etc so it's been much easier as they get older. They're 13 and 15 now, very different personalities so there is some bickering but they are close and have some interests in common. I'm not looking forward to the year when we have GCSEs and A levels at the same time but we'll get through it!

What absolutely nonsense! I have a 13 month gap between my two. My eldest has never 'had to be good' and everything is age appropriate for both - in fact it's easier when they are that close in age. Honestly the crap you read on here

2.5 years between mine. Eldest was a terrible sleeper and wild toddler so we couldn't face the thought of another one til she was a bit more settled. It's worked out quite well. I wouldn't exactly say it's a small gap, but they do like similar things.

Second is a much more easy going child which was just luck! Now that they are a bit older the thought of going back to the baby stage again fills me with horror.

Personally I think it's highly selfish to have children very close together in ages, unless you're in your late thirties/early forties and even then.. Most unfair on the older child who then had to spend the rest of their life being "good" and neither child gets the full age appropriate attention they deserve. Two to three years gap at least
@Blackbyrd Yes that's the truth some people just don't like to admit it though, it is not easy and that is a fact it is more stressfull.

Its really not.

I think it depends a lot on how much support you have.

This is so interesting! Consensus seems to be that it's tough at the beginning but gets easier. We're about to start trying for no.2. DD is one now, so if we hit the jackpot straight away, we're looking at a 22 month gap. I'm 40, and had to wait a year due to c-section, so we don't have much choice but to get cracking if we want a second. Took us a year and losses to conceive DD, though, so the gap may end up being bigger, if we're successful at all, that is.

Honestly, I'm shitting myself! TTC, pregnancy, and then 2 under 2? Thankfully I parent 50/50 with DP and would expect that to continue, but I'm knackered just thinking about it 😂

I found it was OK at the beginning... tough when they were both mobile and didn't want to head in the same direction (I had a rotation of playgrounds with GOOD fences) and then it got easier... until the tween years where mortal offence can be caused by the mere existence of the other one.