To defer a bright child

[Clairebear231]

My son has always been bright, potty trained early, good speech from a young age etc I have never had any concerns. He is due to start school this September at 4 years and 2 months. All professionals say he is capable and ready....but I've recently found out I can defer him starting until next year when he will 5 years and 2 months giving him a big advantage throughout his school career.
My DH is very against this and feels he will be fine in school but I don't want him to be just fine I'd like him to excel, I'm also worried he will struggle being one of the youngest both academically and socially.
What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone not deferred a bright child and then regretted it or vice versa?

@Hugasauras it's only been specifically allowed by Government code/ guidance that LAs have to follow in England for a few years which is why there are still so many misconceptions about it and outdated views, misinformation like people saying they'll miss a year of school and go straight into YR1 and suchlike. But there's a reason why the Government has done that: because the benefits are very clear, as people in Scotland have known for years! And it's becoming much more common now that more parents are aware of the option and how detrimental it can be developmentally to start at 4.

My DD is 4 in sept and i wish she could go to reception. She's very bright and ready emotionally. I would not defer her if she were born 3 weeks earlier

This☝

I've had one who was early September birthday (should have been August but always late for everything🙄) bored out of his brain and not stretched. I'd let him start this year.

Thanks! Very interesting. I was quite surprised by the strength of responses on the thread as deferral here doesn't really excite anyone, it happens a lot and no one finds it odd. I couldn't imagine DD starting school having literally just turned 4, she seems so small still, and she loves nursery - the quality of care there is excellent, it's a small group and I don't think they have time to be bored!

My bright daughter is October born. She was bored rigid at nursery and has remained bored rigid all the way through. If she was born in August I would have definitely sent her to school.

You are doing your son a massive disservice and he won't thank you for it when he's 12 and still in primary school.

Agree with your DH.

If nursery is boring for 4/5yos then that's a poor nursery/preschool. Quality early years settings should not be boring for children of the approriate age to be in them, no matter how bright they are. That's a failure of the setting for sure.

We deferred my 9yr old as he was prem. Due late sept but born early Aug. Best thing we ever did for him. He joined a new preschool for the 'extra' nursery year. He is happy and socially absolutely the right year group for him!
There is an issue if you are in an 11+ area though, as they aren't as flexible in entering an 'older' child for an age based test, so we made the decision knowing it would rule out the local grammar for secondary.

Still by far one of my best parenting decisions. As a secondary teacher I see that stats, and on average Aug born boys get 2 grades lower than their similar in all other area apart from age peers.

All that will happen will your son will be the brightest (which sounds like what you want) until the other bright kids catch up and possibly overtake him Y2/3.

There is a massive difference between a just turned 4 YO and an almost 5 YO and the curriculum is written with that in mind.

FWIW my birthday is 31 Aug and I was born before deferring was a thing, I was 4 and 2 days on my first day at school, and I went to Cambridge 😂 I have 2 summer born children and they’re both doing wonderfully academically.

Had a similar thought process with my DS. He's really bright, so I wasn't worried about academic performance, but it was fine motor skills and social skills that worried me. The school recommended he move up and said he was ready, and I'm so glad we did - he has thrived and I think he would have been bored out of his mind at nursery. He's also turned out to be very tall for his age and he would have looked huge next to younger kids which I don't think would have helped his confidence at all. I think OP in your situation, given there's no specific concerns and your DS has been preparing for the transition, expects to move up, etc it would actually be quite cruel to hold him back. How would you explain it in terms he would understand? I don't think you could. Honestly seeing him stretch and grow will be so rewarding, let him go for it.

@Hugasauras yes exactly, I think a lot of the responses are from people who don't know about the flexibility for summerborn children in England now so find it an odd idea because they have this view of cohorts being a very fixed date range of ages. People are always resistant to change I guess, and many who haven't considered deferral in recent years or have older children won't have looked at the data or know about why the flexibility for summerborn children was introduced: exactly because the data shows the long-term beneficial impact socially, emotionally and academically or not starting so young!

My DD loved her extra year at nursery/ with me. The change in her in that time was HUGE. Her brother's birthday is in the winter and even so - having been in nursery since very small - he was exhausted starting school at 4.5, even with much shorter days there than at nursery. It was when he had his 5th birthday and I realised if I sent her to reception at 4 she'd be going into YR1 at the age he was now that I thought "absolutely not". Just waaaay too young to be doing so much formal learning, all they want to do is play! And get far more from that: so much imagination and so many questions and ideas and I think our schools crush a lot of that out with too much structure when they are still so small.

It is all very interesting. The more I learn about child development the more I can see that the curriculum is designed to suit the older ones in the year, not the younger ones. I was also shocked by the studies that showed a persistent and significant detrimental effect on mental health right into adulthood from starting too young. I mean sure, a particular child may be ok, but why expose them to that extra risk if not necessary?

It's becoming a lot more common here to defer now people are more aware so hopefully we'll get to a situation like Scotland in a few years where people don't find it so strange just because it's a change to what they've been used to.

Even an amazingly organised nursery setting might seem boring to a child if all their friends move away and they are left with the younger children, especially if he finds himself redoing things like phonics with children who haven't done it yet which he has already begun as part of his school prep.

To compete in inter school sports he must be against other children in the correct school year so he may get left out of a team

Being the cleverest isn’t always an advantage. I was in my school and as an Sep baby I got so bored I was disinterested in school and disengaged throughout really. Ended up with absolutely average results.

My daughter is very bright and a July baby, so the youngest but she is doing really really well. Teacher says she’s one of the furthest ahead in the class but not so advanced that she finds it too easy and no challenge.

Also academic achievement is only a tiny tiny part of any successful and happy life

Don't do it, he will be bored and find it too easy if your defer him.

There will always be an oldest and a youngest in the class within a year of each other, and teachers and schools have been managing this for decades (centuries?).
I have an August born son. Youngest in his year throughout his school career. Never seemed to do him any harm. It also ceases to be noticed after the first year or so.

So I would not defer.

Even an amazingly organised nursery setting might seem boring to a child if all their friends move away and they are left with the younger children, especially if he finds himself redoing things like phonics with children who haven't done it yet which he has already begun as part of his school prep.

Wasn't the case at all for us. Nursery knew of my plans so kept her with her cohort that would be moving to school at the same time (appreciated OP can't do that at this stage but likely her son also has friends among the children who will be staying this year anyway). Many of those kids are only a few weeks younger than her so much closer to her age than those who went to school the year before. Socially she was in exactly the right group and many of the same children are now in her class at school.

Her nursery still challenged her with phonics and maths and stuff and she loved it there because she was free to play and choose her own activities, as she should be at 4. If any child is finding nursery boring there is a big problem with the setting as @Hugasauras said.

There's guidance on that too now I believe where they are meant to let them compete in their school cohort. Only an issue if they were to compete internationally etc where it goes on age not school year group anyway.

Are you sure he could start next year in reception and not have to go automatically into year 1?

I deferred my sons place, different reasons to yours, but I had to apply for him to be deferred way before the beginning of the school year

Never heard of this! I know lots of kids (ok, maybe about 5) who have deferred and all started in reception.

But OP they’ll not really be excelling, they’ll be behind other kids their age 😵‍💫

Excelling would be starting this year and then being moved UP a year, surely. I know of that happening too.

Yes they can simply defer their start a year and start in reception at 5. Compulsory school age is the term after they turn 5 anyway, not 4.

You do know that the primary national curriculum is rediculously easy for the bright to very bright child. Schools are focussed on getting the least able to the expected standard and there is very little they can do to stretch the brightest. Your DC will be absolutely bored.

But OP they’ll not really be excelling, they’ll be behind other kids their age 😵‍💫

It's not about competing with other people's kids! It's about giving them the best shot at being socially and emotionally and developmentally/ academically ready to get the most out of education at every stage. Almost all 4 years olds would be ok in reception as it's still so play-based. The problems come later on in primary, and at secondary. And per the data starting too early has a detrimental impact all the way through to university results and adult mental health. Obviously there will be exceptions, but why subject them to the extra risk? I also felt why should she lose a year of childhood and play compared to a child born just a few weeks later.

Of course there is stuff they can do to stretch bright children! That's part of their job and if they're not doing that parents should pull the school up on it. Just as they would for a child born in Sept or any other month.

Haven't read the full thread. But isn't deferral there as an option to give extra time to children who really need it, for reasons to do perhaps with development or disability or just plain immaturity? I don't think it's meant to be there as a sort of weapon of social engineering whereby the sharp-elbowed, clued-up parent like the OP who is already hell-bent on their child "excelling" will exploit the system, at the expense of others who might actually really need extra help.

There is always going to be a younger cohort in a class and it sounds as though the OP's child is well-equipped to flourish no matter what. If she defers her child he will enter a class with some kids FAR younger who may also have real problems settling into learning- a process that won't be made any easier for them by the fact there's a brainy 5+ yr old at the head of the class. I actually think it's pretty amoral.