To defer a bright child

[Clairebear231]

My son has always been bright, potty trained early, good speech from a young age etc I have never had any concerns. He is due to start school this September at 4 years and 2 months. All professionals say he is capable and ready....but I've recently found out I can defer him starting until next year when he will 5 years and 2 months giving him a big advantage throughout his school career.
My DH is very against this and feels he will be fine in school but I don't want him to be just fine I'd like him to excel, I'm also worried he will struggle being one of the youngest both academically and socially.
What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone not deferred a bright child and then regretted it or vice versa?

I have a very bright august born in year two. Had I deferred her she wouldn't be any brighter if that makes sense as she would have learnt stuff at the same time. Not sure why it would give an advantage as they learn as a group. Unless you are planning to tutor your child this year so he already knows everything he would be learning next year.

I would have been very tempted to defer if that had been possible. Despite being bright and capable there was no hiding the fact there was a big difference between a just turned 4 kid and those turning 5 in the autumn. The gap closed eventually but took much longer than I expected I think due to her confidence. She is now on track for excellent GCSE grades but I do think the journey would have been easier for her if she'd started later.

Hi there, I worked on the legislation and it is there in part because NI has one of the lowest school starting ages in Europe. It has been introduced in NI in such a way as to follow the evidence so for example there is no evidence to say missing out on a year of school ie going straight into Year 2 (Year 1 in England) benefits any child - indeed the opposite younger children who get more school do better. However equally there is little evidence to say two years of nursery is beneficial and grade repetition is generally harmful to outcomes. Hence the arrangement where you defer nursery and get one year of funded preschool and then go to P1 starting nursery at 4 and school at 5. It is a great option for younger children and if it’s what you want for your child no need to apologise or justify to anyone even if you have realised too late to defer nursery. Ultimately every birth month spans the range of abilities - including April, May and June. Whilst age is a small factor in outcomes albeit decreasing in NI with age - other factors such as social class and levels of parental education have far more overall impact at system level so please don’t overestimate the impact. Also it does even our - an overage older child will probably do well initially or equally as well but by about P3/4 bright younger child will be outperforming and will continue to do so for rest of school career. So being older is a short initial advantage academically. However, it is very young to start school at just turned 4 and no reason why your child has to. One thing Dare I mention the dreaded 11 plus - it is an age standardised outcome so likely an older child will need a higher raw score to produce same standardised score as a younger child. I don lt think this should over influence your decision but so you are aware. I have two June born sons and one would certainly of benefited - he is only now doing quite well going into Year 4. He simply couldn’t get reading until he was 6 and now he has and he’s fine. My other son was fine from the beginning.

She doesn’t seem cross at all she’s just concerned that misinformation is being circulated that is directly at odds with the guidance on this.

DD was born end of August and I didn't defer. I regret it massively but I think it depends a lot on the personality of the child and maybe also on the size.

DD is tiny and severely underweight. She is small even for her age group but in her current class almost everyone towers above her. She also isn't as strong as the others and I do think that (more than age perhaps) leads to her getting pushed around a bit (accidentally so far I think, not in a mean spirited way) and not get taken seriously.

She has always been very bright and extremely advanced in her language and comprehension but I think that gave us and her nursery and pre school teacher a false sense of confidence. They all said we definitely shouldn't defer as she will get bored.

Academically she is doing very well but socially and in terms of physical skills I can definitely see a difference between her and older kids. She can also be quite timid and shy, which doesn't help
.
Also, now I think, why would she have gotten bored. In many countries in the world kids start school at a later age. It just means another year of less pressure (both socially and academically) and more playing and then apparently because you are slightly older you learn reading etc slightly quicker anyway. But what's the hurry?

In PE she is definitely noticeably worse than all her class mates. In academics she is well above average according to her class teacher but personally I don't think she is in the top tier of her year group. Not that I care about that and I don't push her at all but if she'd been in a lower year group she would have really had an opportunity to shine there, which might have helped her self confidence. And in the lower age group she would have been at least average when it comes to sports or physical skills. And size wise she'd also be average rather than substantially smaller than everyone. So, self esteem is something that I do worry about but if she was a more confident and socially skilled child (or maybe just bigger) then the age might not have made so much of a difference.

So for a child like DD I would recommend deferring.

On the other hand my second dc is also summer born but he's a big and stocky boy. Great gross motor skills for his age. And he's also confident and kind of boisterous. He doesn't shy away from making himself heard. I mean I believe he will be able to hold his own even with older kids so I think he will be fine. Not sure about academics but I believe that is something that we as parents can help with. It's not so easy to help with the things that DD struggles with.

I don't think it gives an advantage but it puts the kids at a more level playing field if that makes sense. A lot of dd's class mates are almost a year older than her and at this young age it shows especially in terms of self confidence and social skills. If she'd been born a week later she would have naturally been in the next year group. At this young age a year makes a massive difference.

Oh also by defer I assume everyone means joining reception a year late. So EG DD joined reception in September 2020 but if we had deferred she would have joined reception in September 2021. I don't mean just skipping a year and then joining straight year 1. I don't think there's a point in that. You are still the youngest but then have the added disadvantage of having missed a year of school that the others in your class got.

Re: boredom.

My deferred child is doing very well academically, as well as some of his peers. There are a group of about 6 of them that do separate work for english, maths and reading comprehension than the other children. Schools should adapt the work to the child’s levels so rather than allow more
academic children to get bored, they should be providing them work to push them and match their higher ability.

In the group of six, my deferred son is one of them and the other 5 are all boys (strangely enough) and all bar one are autumn/winter born. So it may be a sweeping statement, but I do believe that starting school close to being 5 years old may be an advantage for some children in terms of academic ability and maturity.

Re size: My son is quite small and although he’s the oldest in the class, he’s also one of the shortest. He plays for a football team with the Year 1 children (as thats the group his birthday puts him in) and he looks so small compared to them. When I see him running around with them it makes me feel full of horror to think that’s the year group he “should” have been in if I hadn’t deferred him.

I agree with your DH’s reasoning. I am an infant school teacher and there may at times be some more valid reasons for deferring some children but overall, I actually find that many younger summer born children are just as capable if not more than their peers. Deferring won’t give you an advantage as you have suggesting and I actually agree that the child still ends up entering a school setting a year later with exactly the same anxieties and worries; except all of the children their age have already been there and got used to the structure and are familiar with their peers. It doesn’t sound like you have any good reason to hold your son back other than you perhaps deep down just don’t want to let go of him?

Thanks that's interesting to know. I don't feel it's a case of not wanting to let him go, as if he is deferred he will end up going to a different preschool and then a wrap around until 5pm as I have to go back to work (currently on maternity leave) so either way he will be away from me.

I honestly just feel I am worried about him keeping up with his peers especially academically as he will be the youngest. I just want him to enjoy school and not lose confidence if he is behind some of his peers.

I have had a long chat with DH and while he agrees our DS would have benefited from starting nursery and therefore school later it's a bit too late now when he has been prepared to go and is moving up with his friends. If we deferred I am concerned with whether he will be learning much his extra year and the impact on his confidence seeing his friends in P.2 when he starts. We have also gotten him into the school wrap around service which is very over subscribed and would be unlikely to get a place next year if we did defer (DS has been on the waiting list since he was 2) that will present a massive problem come next year.

Luckily DS is average height so while he is smaller than some boys he is not the smallest and is generally quite good physically.

We technically don't need to decide until September (until he officially enrols) so I am going to look into the two local preschools which still have places more to feel I've covered all my bases before making a final decision.

he has been prepared to go and is moving up with his friends

So let him go
Review at xmas

Doesn’t work like that sadly, csa start only allows one bite of the cherry, you can’t start reception then change your mind after I think October. Much harder to repeat a year because of the funding implications for schools.

My son is now 34. He has an IQ of 160. He started school at 5 and was a September baby. He was starting to read at 2 years old. By the time he teached grade 4 he was working through the high school maths and science syllabus. 'Gifted' children don't excel past their peers. They don't need to and it was not of any interest to him. He was already disadvantaged because the education system wasn't geared for him. He changed schools whenever he was disengaged. He went to 3 different primary schools and 3 different high schools. He completed all assignments and projects on the day they wete given to him, just never bothered handing most of them in. It wasn't important to him. The most any gifted child will get put of primary and secondary school is the social aspect. It's all they really need. Don't start them late. Its already going to be boring for them for the most part. Its the external activities that will challenge them. Forgot to say I have a 32 year old daughter with an IQ of 150. One child right brain wired, the other left. We had a phenomal child psychologist.

This !!! And I was top of class in most subjects despite the August birthday