To defer a bright child

[Clairebear231]

My son has always been bright, potty trained early, good speech from a young age etc I have never had any concerns. He is due to start school this September at 4 years and 2 months. All professionals say he is capable and ready....but I've recently found out I can defer him starting until next year when he will 5 years and 2 months giving him a big advantage throughout his school career.
My DH is very against this and feels he will be fine in school but I don't want him to be just fine I'd like him to excel, I'm also worried he will struggle being one of the youngest both academically and socially.
What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone not deferred a bright child and then regretted it or vice versa?

I wouldn't defer because reception is such a. Important year and lays the foundations for the rest

My DD is an august birthday and has coped well

Yes agree with all of this

Children redoing nursery get board they literally redo everything they did last year. They miss their friends and can't understand why they didn't go with them....even the ones who actually started nursery early. If he's as bright as you say he will be ahead of his class anyway (although early potty training and good speech doesn't mean a genius) he's ready to learn he won't be doing that in nursery.

The friendships he has made will be disrupted and he will likely think he’s done something wrong because he’s not allowed to go to school with his friends, which he is expecting to do.

You seem to think all his classmates will be much older than him. Most schools have an even spread of ages and will put together class groups across those ages.

The school will decide, the results will no longer be published.

In any event KS1 SATs really aren’t a big deal. Most children barely know they are happening.

Sorry about your daughter hope she makes a full recovery.

The point of deferral isn't to gain advantage though and it's not solely about ability to cope with academic it's all the other aspects taken into consideration.
It's about a parents choice on choosing what is right for their child and a parent knows their child best simple as really.
In Scotland it's not seen as such a big deal you either defer or not for Winter babies bit also now have that choice Sept - Feb.
My son could cope academically he can write simple things, knows his alphabet and can read small bits. But from emotional regulation, ability to sit and listen etc no he's not ready. They also have 12 years to sit in a classroom. I see zero issue in choosing for him to have a extra year of wider play outdoors (his nursery is 70% outdoors even in Winter in North Scotland)

@Clairebear231 yes we did end up deferring, I posted here ^

Our DC is not at school yet so don't have that perspective, but we are delighted with how well deferral year went - lots of learning and growing despite being still in nursery (here 2 years are the norm anyway).

Though as I say, there were lots of differences in our situation, we were really lucky nursery was 2 years mixed together anyway and same setting possible, so she really didn't notice.

This is LoL. Being bright and the oldest in your class will not harm a child. All the evidence shows the exact opposite. Also academic ability and social and emotional capability are very different. I’d argue being bright but losing confidence is far more damaging. I was a super academic September born and did really well at school apart from the one year I was moved UP a year (because of my academics ) and I was totally miserable (socially) and moved back down.

If the oldest or most academic are getting bored at nursery or school then that’s a failing of their educator - our montessori nursery has materials up to age 7 even though it takes children until 5 because it recognises all children have different ability and areas of interest. Our son has learned to read and write in the year before starting at csa but is now exactly in line with the autumn borns starting in September too. Last year I was watching those about to start coming home with reading books and writing and he was nowhere near. He’s super bright and used to say ‘I’m no good at stuff’ because it made him feel rubbish to be compared with those a year older - he never says this nowb

Ive sent one at csa and one not.
The eldest in cohort was bright, reading cvc words at 3. Free reading at 5. But state school has been quite rubbish and not good at supporting. Ive had to do a lot of work at home with her. In y1 she didnt get meeting exoectations for maths.

Y2 got pass on maths sats but exceeding on reading. But the lower maths set the tone with the school as her not being as good so they didnt exoect much from her. But mainly she absolutely hates maths.
Now y6 sats predicted only 106 when she is capable of 120. We did more.work af home mainly on speed. So wil see how it works out next week or so. Reading should be heading for exceeding.
DS deferred and has done ok. Exceeding at maths though still not top group. First last year at sports.day. -- but this year only 3rd. Has actually struggled a lot more with reading. Covid lockdowns and the introduction of reading same book several times. We had some sen issues which is why we deferred. Which have been better than it would have been. To the extent no issues reported by school.

Activities are much better as he is moving up first before friends so more confident, instead of sibling wno was always last and gradually friends moved.up.
Dc1 having to go to seconday in a few weeks.and.is nowhere near ready

To do well the youngest in year need to have a school which are good at bringing them up from meeting to exceeding. And ours is not that! Kids seem to be categorised and stuck at that. The teacher even said x isnt coming up as a great mathematician.

your son does not sound a bright child, just a child who covered all their textbooks things on time. One of my daughters did not cover anything until 4 years of age, but now has had As for each year without a fail and is called Bright very often by the teachers.

My DD got bored at nursery.

I couldn't work out why as she was being taught different stuff to last year.

Three other autumn born children then moved to her nursery from different ones and we spoke to their parents. They also had been bored at their nurseries until they moved.

The issue wasn't academics, they just didn't like being the oldest at the nursery and everyone else being 5-6 months younger than them.

Incidentally my DD also goes to a childminder were she plays with one year olds. However there are a couple of school aged children she sees about once a week. She has never complained of boredom in that setting.

Are you in NI? In NI yes he can reapply for nursery but no guarantee of a place so if you are I’d check that out. The legislation is designed to defer nursery so they only get one year of pre-school (ie state pays for only one year)

Hi,

Yes in N.I so the whole deferral system is relatively new. I spoke to EA and they advised there are still nurseries/playgroups with spaces available so while you won't get your first choice nursery who can get another funded year at a different setting that has availability. The upside is it'll be a new setting, staff etc for learning and he won't be repeating everything from this year again necessarily. Though when he starts for P.1 We would be applying for a place at the school he is currently due to start p.1 so he would see some of the children now in P.2 which might be confusing.

Just a shame I hadn't thought about all this sooner as we probably would have put him in a playgroup last year funded and then his current nursery this year for an easier transition.

My DH is still pretty against all this and I know Ive left this all too late now in terms of transitioning him to a new setting.

If the oldest or most academic are getting bored at nursery or school then that’s a failing of their educator - our montessori nursery has materials up to age 7

Whatever the cause, you're still left with a bored child. If someone isn't happy with their child's nursery, it may not be easy to find somewhere else. There isn't an abundance of nursery places.
Nurseries have serious issues with funding and staffing at the moment. There was a thread the other week where the OP picked her child up and then got an email to say the nursery wouldn't be reopening the next day. Another where they had to push back their start time by about an hour because they couldn't fund the staff. I don't imagine those settings have the budget for additional materials for children 3 years older than their typical pre-school cohort will be.
The current situation with childcare isn't acceptable, but it is what it is so people may not be making a choice between two ideal scenarios (sending to school, or deferring and keeping them at a well funded nursery at no risk of closure).

Apologies OP, I'm aware I've gone off topic a bit!

@Clairebear231 just watch if you want him to go to p1 in the current school. With such a push for school places since he won't be in the school nursery there's the potential he will miss out on the p1 place in the school next year as you will have to reapply and won't have the feeder nursery to help you out!

I'd also be wary that nursery this year might not suit him as well as he may be boredwhich could very well have a detrimental effect on his happiness going to school and therefore motivation.

My son has just finished p1 he's a March birthday but was prem and with his due date could have been eligible to defer - this wasn't an option when he started nursery and in September I did think it may have been beneficial for him in terms of fine motor skills attention etc but he has loved school. He goes in happy, has friends, grown in confidence and his writing and fine motor skills have increased hugely from where he started though he's still probably not as proficient as some of the others in the class but he doesn't know that and I'm glad we didn't defer.

I’ve found it’s a common misconception that reception is purely a play year; if you look what they’re expected to be able to do by y1 you’ll realise how much is required of them. And this issue isn’t just about reception it’s about the impact throughout their schooling and beyond. The idea they all catch up isn’t backed up by the data

‘You’re still left with a bored child’ - what are you basing this assumption on?

@Muthaofcats has it occurred to you the fact the OP has posted this thread means she is more likely to have a child who can keep up to speed?

I wouldn’t if you don’t think he’s going to struggle in Reception this September.

DS1 could have easily gone to school at 3.5 - he was more than ready and is an academic child. He went last year at 4.5 and is as I expected and settled, working hard and loving it.

DS2 would have been going to school this September if he wasn’t overdue by a week! He is so young and would not have coped well academically or socially. I think we’d have been having the conservation about deferring him if he’d come on his due date on August 30th. So he will be the eldest in the class instead and I’m really hoping that he will be ready then.

I wouldn’t hold them back (literally) if there’s nothing to suggest he wouldn’t cope with Reception this year. Reception should be continuous provision of learning through play so it shouldn’t be too taxing and it’ll be more the routines and sitting and learning how to behave in school - as well as phonics and short inputs on the carpet.

The idea that csa starters will get bored shows a total lack of understanding of the issue. It’s not just children who are ‘behind’ or have developmental issues or disability who benefit from starting at compulsory school age. The option exists because it has been agreed that otherwise summer borns lose a whole year of education and they carry the implications of this with them forever - it affects them socially, emotionally and academically in significant ways - there is no evidence to show that starting at 5 rather than 4 is detrimental - the assumption that bright kids would get bored being given exactly what their autumn born contemporaries are automatically exposed to is just plain wrong . I wonder what the motivations are of parents who say ‘just send them at 4!’ And why you all get so worked up at the idea of those taking the option to correct the obvious disadvantage of starting their summer born so young? Why does it bother you so much? Does it challenge your own decision making?

My daughter started school when she was 5yrs and 5mths...she was very bright and within a few weeks had overtaken the majority of children in her class..she went straight into Yr 1 and skipped reception. She was very ready by the time she went and really enjoyed her journey through education. Do what feels right to you...I sometimes think we're too quick to get children into school and every child is different...his education certainly shouldn't suffer as a good nursery should be following the same curriculum as a school up to year 1...and a good nursery will usually be doing it better...I'll shut up now and get ready for the criticism that I'm sure will be coming my way . Good luck to you and your son 😊

Depends on the child surely though. My eldest is summer born and will be starting school at 5 soon. She's been the oldest in her preschool room since September gone and she's remained very happy there. She has good bonds with staff and has plenty of friends. Some of her friends are some of the older, autumn born children closest in age to her, but others are summerborns of a full year younger than her. She's not bored at all, she's happy and settled and has learnt loads in the past year that she didnt know a year ago including physical skills like how to pedal a pedal bike for example. I'm not saying every summer born child should necessarily start school at 5, I was only preoccupied with making the right choice for my own child but I'm confident we have done so and she's never been bored at nursery. Anecdotally I know a few other people locally who also sent their kids to reception at 5 and none of them were bored at nursery (all different nurseries too).

Yes I’ve been amazed what my child has learned this year. This time last year when they were 3 and school was fast approaching I’d see the autumn borns all writing and bringing home reading books and so excited about starting school and just felt abject dread that my child was expected to be able to do the same. Fast forward a year and they’ve learned to read, can write words, do basic arithmetic, but most importantly they are more confident and happy to be apart from us (although still wobbles sometimes too) - they are curious and feel good about themselves and better able to sit still and follow instructions (although again, still not always!). It was heart breaking seeing my child compare themselves to kids a year older and say they were no good in comparison and I’ve been so happy we ignored all the people saying similar to the ignorant tripe in this thread and followed our own instincts and allowed them the opportunity the other kids had to get as much of the early years education as was available. I think with decisions like this one has to remind themselves that opinions are like arse holes and schooling and education brings out particularly strong ones as it can press one’s own triggers and insecurities. If people were super confident about their own choices they wouldn’t feel threatened by the csa thing, they’d surely just feel happy for those children that mechanisms existed to correct an obvious disadvantage.