Stopping my child being around his dads partner

[pinkmarshmalloww]

Hi. My child's recently come to me and says he doesn't want to see his dads partner because he thinks she doesn't like him. I've asked him to elaborate and he's said she doesn't speak much, shouts a lot. I've also received a message from a made up social media account telling me what an awful mother I am, and I believe it's her. So I've told my child's dad he isn't allowed to be at home when he has our child if she's there. So he'll have to stay elsewhere with him (family)
They do live together and have been together a few years with their own children.
Where do I stand if he doesn't listen and still takes our child there? Can I call the police? Contact social services? Court?
My child stays there from Thurs-Sunday

I forgot to mention he's 4 years old

You can do nothing op

shouting at your child is crap but not abuse

Is it court ordered contact? Every week seems a lot for a 4 year old.

I've told him he won't be seeing our child again if goes against my wishes and he takes our son and sees her. Don't I have that right?

No court orders no

Is your son at his dad's thurs-sun every single week?

‘Don't I have that right?’
Of course not. It’s unfortunate that your ex picked a woman who shouts at your kid but no, parents cannot disallow anything when the kid with with the other parent.

If your son is 4 and your ex husband has children with his new partner then she may just be exhausted and struggling to cope with 3 very young children. I think you need to sit down with your ex and his partner to see what can be done and have an adult conversation about this. It will be to your son's benefit if you and his new partner could get on. He has half brothers or sisters here.

You do know he could also refuse to return your child to you just as easily. You can stop contact but since you currently have 50/50 he could easily go to court and claim parental alienation if you are making these threats.

Yes

Sounds to me like you just dont like her, your DS will pick up and that and possibly say what you want to hear. Are you one of those parents that like to grill him on his return by any chance?

If you have a partner, how would you feel if your ex said you could not be with him for half the week? Bcause if you can make those 'demands' your ex can too.

If this was genuine you would know you don't have the right

No, you do not have any legal right to stop your DC going to his dads house.

🤦🏻‍♀️ Jesus Christ

’They do live together and have been together a few years and have their own children’

You have a 4 year old with this man? That’s very quick. I’m missing the point though!

Sounds like you don’t like are and you don’t want your child to either.

We split during my pregnancy. They've been together 3 years. Just

He's suggested we all need to meet up and talk but I'm not interested. All I want to know is if he takes him to their house can the police go and get him back because of safety concerns. Or will social services help me

Of course not.

What safety concerns? Someone raising their voice?

You need to sit down with your ex for the sake of your ds.

You know full well that he can't possibly have your ds thurs-sun, find somewhere else to stay and not see his partner or kids for half the week, every week.

Legally you have no leg to stand on.
Personally you can stop contact
Morally - it is wrong.

Just because your child has stated he doesn't think he like her, doesn't particularly mean that might be true also, 4 year olds have very wild imaginations.. not discounting what you have said, but you should also take that inconsideration.

The fact you won't even meet her and your ex to discuss matters doesn't particularly show you have your child's best interests at heart.

Unless she is physically abusing him, there is very little if nothing you can do.

You need to play smarter on this OP. You don't have any legal right to stop your partner being at home when he has your child. It would be wise to stop making threats you can't carry out and do what he suggests...talk it out like adults. Sit down and work out where the tension is arising. Then, when the adults have a plan, sit down with your son and tell him how his concerns are being addressed.

Upsetting as it may be; in a nutshell, no, the police won't involve themselves unless a child is in danger. It's a civil matter and with regard to SS, again, the bar is set very high and shouting doesn't constitute abuse

You'd be best off cooperating with the suggestion to meet up and talk

Assuming he has parental responsibility then he can make decisions about who the child sees while he's in his care and unless he's in genuine danger, you can't do anything about it (which is as it should be).