6 year old - ok to leave at home alone for 10 mins?

[thogated]

Name changed for this as worried about being flamed

We live extremely close to my kids school - basically within sight of it My 6 year old was off sick today. I had to pop out to pick up my other child.

I was going to take the 6 year old with me but he asked to stay at home because he was tired and still in his PJs..I thought about it and while I never have left him alone before, it really didn't seem like a big deal.

So I did. Told him not to open the front door - and bolted it so he couldn't (but he could open the back door in the very unlikely event of fire). He was lying in bed reading a book, no risk of him eating/choking.

The school is about 6 doors down from my house, by time time my other one had found his bag etc, it was max 10 mins, possibly less. My 6yo was absolutely fine.

I feel like this was a reasonable decision. What do others think?

No, never

You will never get a pragmatic response on Mumsnet ! Don't beat yourself up - you did your best in a difficult situation xx

Not at home alone even for a short moment at that age. As you live close to the school perhaps another parent or babysitter could bring your child home.

The bit that stuck out to me is your dc collected from school has additional needs - I can only say randomly there was issues that needed dealing with now and again . That really drags out a school run

I think dusting or similar is an age-appropriate task for a much younger child. Toddlers can manage the idea of doing a chore for mummy, and they benefit hugely from it.

I just remembered that my DD's school recently had the reception/year 1 children all make sandwiches for themselves, then they had a little event where we came in and they served us a little meal (sandwiches and crispie cakes they'd made).

That is what a school feels is a standard amount of responsibility for children aged 4-6. Not dusting!

Have you considered that the child could have been run over and killed if she took the child with her?

Humans are absolutely shit at risk assessment. We compare the risky behaviour (leaving a 6 year old alone for 10 minutes - and yes there is a risk in doing this) to a mythical risk free alternative (the suggestion that the is no, or less risk, to taking them with you, when almost certainly there are bigger risks in that scenario).

No, only cos of if there is a fire you would not allowed back in. I know it's unlikely there will be a fire though but that was first thing I thought of when I read the title.

Not in a million years

Must admit I have considered it but no haven't done it as I think still a bit young.

I would say it also depends on the child as well there's some 13 year olds I wouldn't leave alone 🤣

With all due respects, my child isn’t the only child I know. My niece is 6, I’d trust her to be alone for 10 minutes. I have less conviction that I’d trust my nephew but he’s only 2.5 so we’ll have to see.

It’s all about individual children you know. I guess you just don’t know a 6yr old as mature as my niece or the OP’s son.

Out if interest, what is this about?

Or if they went upstairs with back door just left open ?!?

It’s a show based in Japan - young children (aged 3 and up typically) are given a job or task to complete as a rite of passage. It’s usually going to the market to buy a food item and bring it back. They prepare for it with their parents and then fly solo and are filmed by a crew.

It’s genuinely heartwarming and makes me cry every time because the children are so happy when they complete their task.

If a 3yo child can walk to a shop, make a purchase and get home, can’t we assume a 6 year old can sit quietly at home for 10 minutes without catastrophising about a paedophile climbing up through the drain? 😜

I think it depends so much on societal expectations, though.

My SIL is German and points out that, in Germany, many very young children go to and from school independently, and they're fine.

But, there's a whole society where this is what you expect.

In the UK, you need to work to create that society around you - unless you live somewhere where you know people will look out for your child, and will be aware that your child is being given some independence, you will find it much harder to leave them, because you'll have that bit less of a safety net.

No absolutely not.

I think in the circumstances, it was the best thing to do.

I leave my DD (6) in the house and go to speak to our neighbour on occasion. Six doors down and for an unknown amount of time, I'm not so sure but I'm certainly not aghast at this.

@SarahAndQuack think it depends so much on societal expectations, though.My SIL is German and points out that, in Germany, many very young children go to and from school independently, and they're fine.But, there's a whole society where this is what you expect. In the UK, you need to work to create that society around you - unless you live somewhere where you know people will look out for your child, and will be aware that your child is being given some independence, you will find it much harder to leave them, because you'll have that bit less of a safety net.
And leaving your 6 yo for 20 mins whilst you go 6 doors away is a good start

My route to the school does not cross any roads so that seems unlikely? My DH was on his way home anyway so max my 6 yo would have been home alone for an hour.

Tbf I still have babies and I’m sure I’ll agree when they’re about 3/4 and they’ll have graduated onto different or rather more chores by 6. 😁

I am always amazed by how dramatic people on mumsnet are about things like this.
I've done a similar thing OP and see no issue with it. The risks are very low. What's the difference from leaving your child home alone for 5 minutes or having a shower upstairs whilst they are downstairs, or going out in the garden without them?

I honestly would never risk this but this is mainly because my 5 (nearly 6) year old is a big worrier and would never fend on her own. I just feel like the smallest things could happen that could put a child at big risk. It was okay for the one time but I would definitely not make a habit out of it.

Also - an hour is way too much just by reading your new post!!! 10 minutes I can get by in an emergency (although really you should have taken him with you tired or not or at least phoned the school you'd be late) but never an hour. I know you're saying that'd happen in an unlikely situation but you sound way too okay with the idea.

I used to walk to the shop when I was 6 and get a pint of milk for my Mum, and that was more than 6 doors away. I think it was fine. I've got a 7 year old and a few months ago I left them at home whilst I gritted our street so we could go out in the car. I don't think this is much different.

A teacher did try to stop me for a chat actually (I am a school governor so related to that) but I said "sorry, am in a rush today, can I catch you tomorrow". That was totally in my control.

I have been doing this school run for a couple of years now, it's never taken 30 minutes. Not once.

He couldn't have opened the front door to anyone as I bolted it up high. He couldn't have wandered off to look for me as I had locked the garden gate. But I left the back door locked with the key in case of fire.

I am actually ridiculously paranoid about fire so we had the electrics very thoroughly looked at when we moved into the house and I don't leave things like tumble dryer on when we aren't home. Electrical fire is always a possibility but I think the risk is genuinely minimal and probably less so than him having an accident on the school run