6 year old - ok to leave at home alone for 10 mins?

[thogated]

Name changed for this as worried about being flamed

We live extremely close to my kids school - basically within sight of it My 6 year old was off sick today. I had to pop out to pick up my other child.

I was going to take the 6 year old with me but he asked to stay at home because he was tired and still in his PJs..I thought about it and while I never have left him alone before, it really didn't seem like a big deal.

So I did. Told him not to open the front door - and bolted it so he couldn't (but he could open the back door in the very unlikely event of fire). He was lying in bed reading a book, no risk of him eating/choking.

The school is about 6 doors down from my house, by time time my other one had found his bag etc, it was max 10 mins, possibly less. My 6yo was absolutely fine.

I feel like this was a reasonable decision. What do others think?

You know your child OP and what you’ve learned is that he’s fine to be left home alone for a short time.

My child is only 18mo so I don’t like leaving her in a room by herself at this point, but I hope that by the age of 6, I can trust her to be alone for 10 minutes. So for me, it’s a well done to you for raising a child you can trust.

No no

Agreed.

Absolutely not. On any level. A 6 year old is far too young to be left for any period of time in an empty house.

In just 2 minutes an electrical fire can become life threatening so, no, I wouldn't leave a 6 year old home alone. We had a day time house fire when I was a kid, the speed with which it took hold was scary.

Nope

Honestly no and that comes from someone who used to be left alone for 10 minutes while mom popped to the shop. It was terrifying and put me in a position of responsibility that I wasn't equipped to handle. I know how old I was because she also used to do the same and leave my 6 month old sibling in the house with me as well. The fear always stayed with me. You could have asked the neighbour to sit in for the 10 minutes instead.

No. It's not ok. Children are often late coming out of school. People often want to stop you for a chat or to ask you things. If your younger child had had an accident or incident during the day at school, the teacher might have wanted to speak to you about it. They might have forgotten their bag and needed to go back for it.

Even 10 mins is far too long at 6 years old, but 10 mins can easily turn into 20 or 30.

If your child can easily open the door, he could have decided to come looking for you. He could have opened the door to someone dodgy. There could have been a fire.

My eldest is 13 and she still makes some silly and unwise decisions when alone at home. At 6? No fucking way.

With all due respect, your child is 1 year old. 6 year olds might seem quite grown up to you now. They are not.

No. In fact, an Airbnb customer in the house next door recently left her 5yo at home alone when she popped out. He had got out and was hysterically crying. The child didn’t mention that they’d just popped out and said he had no idea where they’d gone, although the mother said she explained this to him when she returned. Anyway, before this happened, I called the police and they had even arrived in that time. They took it very seriously and didn’t want me to let the child go with the parent if she returned before they got there, in case it wasn’t the parent.

I forgot to add that I was so relieved that I happened to stumble across the child when outside on his own and not some creep!

Yes I would and I have done before. I have them the house phone and said I would call them when I was about half way just to check they were okay.

They knew the back door had keys in, where the front door keys were and to go to a neighbour or ring me or the grandparents if they were worried.

He sat watching tv and didn't move.

I will leave my six-year-old at home for 5 minutes (and in theory I would for ten, but five minutes happens to be the amount of time it takes to nip out and pick up her mum from work in the car). But she knows how to unlock the door; she knows how to make calls on the phone (and I leave a phone with her), and she knows that she can get to two different neighbours without crossing a road, who will be in. We live in a very quiet village.

I would not do it in a town, or anywhere where she couldn't either ring for help or physically go for help to someone very nearby.

You prefer to leave a 6 year old alone, while you drive away from the house, rather than have an adult woman walk a few minutes home?

I would and did.

I find these answers intriguing. There was a thread last week about children playing out by themselves. I think the children in question were 6 and 8. Any suggestion that they were too young to play out by themselves was overwhelming ridiculed as mollycoddling. It's interesting that people seem to think there is more risk in the home. Or maybe just different respondents.

6 is too young.

999 times out of 1000 it will probably be completely fine. But if something did go wrong you would definitely be judged very harshly / held responsible for this.

As a teacher if one of the 6 yos in my class told me they were left at home alone I would have to raise it as a safeguarding concern.

This feels quite different?

My child was in his home environment, definitely knew (as it was his idea) where I was and knew I wouldn't be long. He also could not have wandered any further than our back garden because of how I left things locked up.

I would never do it in an Airbnb. I also think mine has grown up a lot this last year, I wouldn't have done this last year

No chance

That is intriguing. I wouldn't let mine play out, I have to say! Which is ironic really

Please keep in mind that being an adult doesn't automatically mean you can walk. I used to pick up DP when she was struggling health-wise, and yes, walking that distance would have been pretty hard for her - but you are presuming everyone has a partner who is basically able-bodied, and plenty of people do not.

I also think it is important to let children feel responsible. My DD was really keen to show how grown-up she could be if left alone. So, I spent time teaching her the things she needed to know, and then I felt confident to leave her. I would not have done it on the spur of the moment, or if I'd not felt she would benefit from it.

Yeah it's always odd, and always the same with these questions.

I think it’s important to foster responsibility and independence too in six year olds but not by leaving them home alone, even for a short amount of time. An age-appropriate way for me would be giving them a little chore like dusting or whatever, or encouraging the saving of part of their pocket money - if they even get it at this young.

ok so if he was sick and you obviously had no other choice in this instance I say ok. needs must. Its not like your making a habit of it.

No, not because there was any real risk to your sick child but if you had been struck by a car and knocked unconscious or worse would anyone know that your child was home alone?