6 year old - ok to leave at home alone for 10 mins?

[thogated]

Name changed for this as worried about being flamed

We live extremely close to my kids school - basically within sight of it My 6 year old was off sick today. I had to pop out to pick up my other child.

I was going to take the 6 year old with me but he asked to stay at home because he was tired and still in his PJs..I thought about it and while I never have left him alone before, it really didn't seem like a big deal.

So I did. Told him not to open the front door - and bolted it so he couldn't (but he could open the back door in the very unlikely event of fire). He was lying in bed reading a book, no risk of him eating/choking.

The school is about 6 doors down from my house, by time time my other one had found his bag etc, it was max 10 mins, possibly less. My 6yo was absolutely fine.

I feel like this was a reasonable decision. What do others think?

I have a 6yo DD and would not have done this. She loves to pretend to be grown up and loves helping so she would probably have turned the job on and started making dinner thinking she was doing something helpful!
Even if your child is sensible there's just too many unknown factors. What if the teacher wanted to see you for a chat? What if your other child was messing around and you were delayed? It may only be a few doors down but pick up can still take a while when you factor those things in.

I'm always amazed at the lack of common sense on MN. You did your own risk assessment at the time. With the info you've given I'd have decided the same and left child at home for the 10mins. You know your child, my eldest would have been completely fine, likely relished in the perceived responsibility she was being given at that age. My middle child I wouldn't leave in a million years as he is a basket case, forgets within seconds and/or relishes in actively going against my instructions so I would expect to come back to some sort of complete disaster zone.

You've heard the saying "the devil drives when needs must"?

On balance, I would probably have put the sick child in the back of the car. But for balance, I once left my poorly child (mumps) alone after a doctor visited (yes, it was over 40 years ago) and gave child a prescription that had to be picked up, pain killers. all neighbours were at work, the child was in considerable pain, so I left the child alone and ran like a lunatic there and back from the pharmacy.

Some times we have to choose the least worst option.

Good point.

Personally I wouldn't leave my dc at 6yo in this scenario but I wouldn't judge someone else for doing so.

I get why you did this but the other issue that could arise is something happening to you or your other child

God forbid ... and yes very low risk .. one of you becoming unwell , knocked over by car , witnessing an accident or robbery or assault , falling over , teacher grabbing you for chat , other parent with a party invite

Just not worth the risk

Yeah it was fine in this circumstance

When I was 6, children were sent to local shops alone with a shopping list, walked to friends' houses alone to see if they wanted to play out - even walked to and from school alone. All of those could take far longer than ten minutes.

I can perfectly understand why parents no longer let their young children do those things now, largely because of the volume of traffic and the higher risk of abduction by people in vehicles, but I don't think that being alone in a house for ten minutes is too risky for many six-year-olds, though yes there are some who would not be safe to leave alone.

I would. There is very little risk indeed.

Did you see the article just today about the ebike that caught fire whilst charging? The fire service was putting the message out that these things burn FAST and you'd bolted the door. OK maybe you don't have one of these but its not the only thing that could've caught fire in literally seconds, would your child follow the safety plan to get out or would they panic and forget the door was bolted etc, what if the bolted door was the only viable exit as the other door was blocked?
I'm not flaming you and I accept this was an in the moment decision but I really feel it was the wrong decision and urge you to think of a contingency plan as I said on my previous reply. Fire isn't the only thing that could've gone wrong, your child could've needed a wee or to be sick and then fallen down the stairs or multiple other things that required an immediate response from an adult to be there.
I'm a single parent with zero support day to day so I get it I really do, I've had the thought at 3am when both kids are sleeping soundly (rarely tbh that happens but that's a different thread lol) that I could nip out to the 24hr garage but I've never ever done it and never would. Do you remember just before Christmas a couple of years ago the mother who had gone to do her shopping and came home to find all her children dead and her house completely burnt down from an electrical fault? I know you were "just 6 doors down" and it wasn't "that long" but honestly think of the consequences on living forever without your child rather than dragging them out to collect their sibling.
Mine have additional needs and my 8 year old knows that in an emergency it'll be X that collects her, please set this up. If you DC really won't go with X then leave DC with their teacher whilst X sits with the poorly child, surely you have someone that could do this given you live that close to the school? Or could you phone the school and explain and stand on your doorstep so you can watch your child walk the 6 doors down?

Depends on the child and location but I used to walk home from school at that age. It was in a town in Ireland. My house was a few blocks down the wide road, around 400m. All the children on our road and the squares behind it either side used to walk home from school without a parent. We finished an hour earlier than the older children. I still remember a very blustery day when we were assigned to an 11 year old. They had a child holding each hand and walked us home. Sounds like the 50s, it was actually the mid-90s.

We do far more risky things with kids all the time ( like put them in cars, feed them meat) and no one thinks anything of it.

You should have taken him with you. He is only 6. That is far too young to be left home alone. Have you considered you could have been run over and killed whilst out, and no one would know your DC was home alone.

I think it’s fine OP. You know your own DC and whether they were going to just stay in bed while you were gone. I haven’t left mine that young but I’ve got lots of family support so haven’t needed to.

He couldn't have wandered off - I locked the side gate of our house but left the key in the back door so he couldn't have got further than the back garden. But he was way too tired to get out of bed anyway

I don't cross any roads to get to the school so unless a car decided to veer onto the pavement, it's hard to see how I could have got into an accident

OP- You can ring school ahead in these kind of circumstances and there will be someone who can bring your other child home, especially as you are so close. If you’re in the same situation tomorrow, you need to make the school aware- presumably you’ll have an issue for drop off in the morning if 6yo still poorly?

Are you mad?

I’m very laid back about stuff like this, but I wouldn’t have.. but I can also see why you did. It’s not against the law, and it’s up to you as a parent to decide wether it was appropriate. So really it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, always depends on the child rather than the age also.

Personally no. I wouldn't have done this.
I would worry that even if all was ok at home, what happens if I can't get back home because of an accident or some other emergency.
So unlikely of course but life is too short for the what ifs and 6 is just too young to take chances with

I am not a mum, so maybe I shouldn't comment. But I would. The only thing I have learnt from this thread is that it would be a good idea if someone knew what was going on. I'd cover that by ringing my BFF when I was leaving and when I got back (and her having instructions to ring me and then the police if she didn't get a response that I'd returned safely. Presumably the 6 year old could talk to mum's BFF when she rang and tell them in the very unlikely event that mum hadn't returned safely.

When my daughter was 7 and had broken her arm the day before, I left her sitting up in bed watching something on an iPad while I nipped out for calpol. I was away 10 mins. I made her go pee etc before I left so she wouldn’t have a reason to get up, and I knew she’d be fine. I did let the neighbour know I was nipping out, but that was more in case of something happened to me and there was this unattended child rattling about the house for hours.

You know your own child OP.

I did feel ok about it.

But also a bit weird about the fact that I know a lot of people wouldn't do it.

I don't intend to make a habit of it, it's not a frequent issue. Usually we both try to WFH when the kids are ill for this sort of reason so usually one of us can nip put for the school run with the other one at home.

You know your child better than all of us to know if he’s mature and capable enough to have done this. He was fine, you were quick, you didn’t leave him long

Easy to see why nobody wants to have kids any more really.