Parents who allow 0 screen time

[thesurreymum]

I recently took my 4 year old for a play date with someone new who we recently met. The mum said that they have zero screen time, no tablets, games consoles and the TV was password protected. Their eldest child is 8. After about 1 hour of playing nicely with toys/outside my DS was pestering me to watch YouTube on my phone. I was quite embarrassed by this. I genuinely thought that my DC have a good balance between screen time and playing/doing activities. I am however noticing that they are preferring electronic devices even more. Out of curiosity I am just wondering how many people actually have zero screen time for their DC particularly if they are of primary school age?

Not zero screen time, but my DC1 is 5 and gets 1 hour of tv on each weekend day while DC2 is napping and that’s it. No tablets or games consoles at all.

DC2 is 2.5 and only watches tv very occasionally - maybe once a month or something if they’ve missed their nap.

When DC1 started reception in September we let her watch tv after school as a way of giving her downtime but she would go mad when we turned it off and behaviour was generally poorer. She’s much happier since we cut it out during the week.

My dc are 11 this September and have no personal screens, we have one family tv which they are free to watch. They watch about an hour a day in the week and up to 3 hours a day at the weekend. They’ve never shown an interest in gaming or phones so I’ve never bought them a personal device.

I think very few families have zero screen time.

I wouldn't be letting a four year old watch YouTube on my phone though and definitely not if they were so into it that they wanted to do it on a playdate.

DD's friend's family don't have a TV and she doesn't really have any screen time. I think that is unusual though. Most families allow some, especially above toddler hood.

My dc are 11 and 9 and we have no screen time at all during the week, and limits at the weekend (2 hrs per day).

We do it because they’re much nicer to be around with less screen time, more creative, get bored less easily.

I really think the amount of ‘always on’ screen time adults and children have now is harmful, particularly for young children. As a teacher I’m really conscious of the decrease in attention spans, focus and more limited social skills a lot of children tend to have now. I’m not saying screentime is the only factor but I do think it plays a part, so would always advocate limits.

At the weekend I watched my happy, chilled nephew turn into an angry, nasty boy within 30 minutes of playing a game on a switch. It was awful the impact it had on him, he's 9. His parents are very careful with how much screen time they allow as they know how it affects him.
My nieces are allowed screen time whenever they want (different parents) and it is so difficult to get them to engage in conversation or do activities once those screens are on.
I fear for the future as how will they switch off and maintain relationships if they can't move from the screen.

We do allow limited screen time... but all DC know that it's rude to be on screens in company and certainly wouldn't ask on a play date.

Not zero by age of 8, but we had very little screen time.

I would be quite worried if my child was nagging for YouTube when at someone else's house. I would tell them it was broken and just knock it on the head.

No screen time is bananas at best and I would say abusive after a certain age. Do people actively want their children to have nothing in common with their peers and be perceived as oddbods?

We went through a phase of about 8 months with zero screen time when DS2 was maybe 3 because he absolutely couldn't regulate his behavior around it. If we didn't let him watch, he'd lose his mind. If we did let him watch, no matter how long, when we turned it off, he'd lose his mind. I'm talking about headbutting us, and then the wall or the floor if he couldn't get to us. And trying to throw toys or small bits of furniture if that wasn't enough. So we went cold turkey. I felt a little bad for DS1 as he hadn't done anything wrong, but we did explain to him why and he didn't seem that fussed. It helped DS2 reset his relationship with screens and we went pretty slowly back to adding them in a little.

Now that they're older (11 and 7) they don't generally have any non-school screen time during the week, in term-time (the school have given them both iPads for homework so using them is required). DS2 is still the one that pesters us to watch TV or play video games on the weekends, but the answer isn't always yes and never for more than the length of a film at most. DS1 could still take it or leave it and has sort of come to the conclusion that life is too short to watch TV you don't care about when you could be reading a book that you do 😆

We don't use screens outside the house except for short periods on long car journeys (four+ hours type journeys) and even then we have to be careful as they will both get carsick if they watch for more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time. And absolutely no screens at meals, whether that's at home or out (other than googling a fact to see if DS2 is, in fact, correct in whatever new "fact" he's gleaned from school/his mates/randos he's overheard talking in public) because that's time for us all to catch up and talk about our days and what's been going on.

I’ve banned you tube (it was kids tube) completely. I couldn’t stand some of the things they were watching on it and how quickly they switch between watching different things. They can watch as much TV as they like but they’re not that interested so don’t watch much, it’s not as addictive.

When my oldest was 4 they had pretty much zero screen time - when oldest was 8 very small amount. Definitely not on a playdate.

Not a zero screen time family at all but would definitely never allow screens during a play date. I would worry if a child preferred a screen to playing with a friend or new toys.

What dull peers they must have if no screen time means they have NOTHING in common. Children who only do screens, who have literally nothing else to offer?! I'd imagine the no-screen kids would just seek out some more interesting friends who they could bond with over other things like sports or music or arty stuff or cubs/scout type activities etc.

We have been and then haven't been, going back to 0 screens as it causes havoc! So much easier without screens! I would rather them be bored!

Not 0. But only occasional TV. No access to my phone etc. Nearly 6 and nearly 3 year old. They very rarely ask for TV. In fact they don't really like it that much because I use it when I need them to be still and quiet so they're not allowed off the sofa when it's on 🤣. My neighbours 5 year old has her own pad and she came over with it the other day and she was playing very inappropriate song and dance videos!

I found the same thing! Used to allow youtube and Netflix but so addictive so it's all banned now. They get bored of tv quite quickly and want to go and play.

Never banned it, they’ve never really been interested in it. I find it really useful for long car journeys when they’ve woken up from a nap - it’s the only think that’s stopped them getting car sick!

Zero - no! It would put them at a disadvantage IMO
Regulated, yes of course

Same with us. Only tv very very very occasionally. No tablets, phones, anything like that.

Until they were 11 it was zero unless it was something we were watching together. We would watch a film on a Saturday night and we let them each choose another thing - a show so DS always had DR Who and DD would chose Let's Dance on the Wii.
At 11 they got iphone but no screens upstairs until post 16. And I check the phones regularly - yes read all the snapchats etc.
They are 18 and 19 now and both thank me for being so firm. DD is particular has seen a lot of friends have serious MH issues and/or make mistakes with photos/messages late at night. They both choose to turn phones off fairly early and have very moderated screen use. It never effected their social lives other than to steer them away from the groups where constant social media use was a requirement of friendship. They both have long term relationships are have done exceptionally well academically.

I work with young people and advise on parenting. I cannot over emphasise the damage that screens are doing to young minds.

I don’t really limit screen time but find my children sort of self regulate and have lots of time outside through choice. I’m very fortunate to have a really good sized garden with lots of different areas for them to look around and a lawn with a goal etc. All of my children will have a small moan when I ask them to stop the screen but will snap out of it pretty quickly.
Some of their peers who have zero screen time do struggle at school socially when they are talking about YouTubers they all like, for example. I can remember renting my parents a little bit for not letting me watch certain programmes when I was growing up, therefore I couldn’t join in the chat at school. It made me feel like I was on the periphery.
So, I’m teaching sensible use and balance rather than a total ban.

Not much and never outside the home and never on my phone. Occasional TV or tablet time,

Smart phone at secondary school. So far they aren't oddbods who nobody wants to play, as luck would have it.

“Screen time” is a bit of a meaningless notion - it depends what they’re doing! One of my DDs is really into history and spends ages researching on the Internet; I really don’t see how that’s any worse than reading an encyclopaedia. Likewise, the other has a sporting hobby and uses the Internet to keep up to date with that. All good. Yes - if they’re passively scrolling social media all day or addicted to violent games, that’s not great. But often screens are just a modern way of getting information or entertainment and it’s a bit regressive to impose a blanket ban on the technology.

We had zero screens until about 6 and now allow tv only for 3h spread across the week. Tbh I think it’s nothing but a positive for primary aged kids. Ours play, read, stare out the window and have a great life. They also get a sense of identity from being different and have no trouble with friendships. It’s the parents it’s difficult for imo: you never get a break courtesy of the digital babysitter. I am very wary of allowing more screen time now they are entering adolescence. We have decided that they will be allowed phones but with heavy restrictions on time and no social media.