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Parenting

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Original poster

Parents who allow 0 screen time

108 replies

thesurreymum · 15/05/2023 20:33

I recently took my 4 year old for a play date with someone new who we recently met. The mum said that they have zero screen time, no tablets, games consoles and the TV was password protected. Their eldest child is 8. After about 1 hour of playing nicely with toys/outside my DS was pestering me to watch YouTube on my phone. I was quite embarrassed by this. I genuinely thought that my DC have a good balance between screen time and playing/doing activities. I am however noticing that they are preferring electronic devices even more. Out of curiosity I am just wondering how many people actually have zero screen time for their DC particularly if they are of primary school age?

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Antisocialfluffmonster · 16/05/2023 16:54

Back in my day it was TV, and talking on the landline to your friends, there also appeared to be some hysteria at board games and music too.

One thing I do notice in my job, is that there are a fair number of young adults coming through who have only the most basic digital literacy, which is actually quite shocking. People should understand a bit about how information is used online and parents need to be at the forefront of that.

being able to turn you tube on is not being digitally literate. Some things are just easier when you learn them young, and learn it safely

ParentsTrapped · 16/05/2023 17:43

mathanxiety · 16/05/2023 15:08

Limiting screen time is all very well if you have just one child, or two close together.

I have five DCs, with an eleven year gap from youngest to oldest.

The TV (90s and 00s) was rarely off. Oldest DC got a small TV in their bedroom at age 12.

They all played plenty, did chores, did sports, art and crafts, played piano, did hours of homework daily...

I think the problem of 'too much screen time' is actually a problem of 'too much inappropriate content that children can't process'. It's also a case of too many scene changes per second, too much visual stimulation.

I relied on broadcast TV for my DCs viewing content. I never subscribed to cable (Nickelodeon, Disney, etc). My DCs had a great PBS station (in the US) which broadcast high quality, slow paced children's fare (for example, 'Mr Roger's Neighborhood'). Another station broadcast cartoons on Saturday mornings. They watched early evening shows too, as they got older (The Simpsons).

I also bought DVDs for them - all downloadable now. One series my DCs liked in particular when they were younger was a very slow paced series of animated Beatrix Potter stories.

The adversarial themes and elements of programming on Nickelodeon and its ilk, not to mention the blaring ads and egregious materialism, are not suitable for children. But there's plenty of good quality alternative fare.

publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/128/4/644/30711/The-Immediate-Impact-of-Different-Types-of?redirectedFrom=fulltext
When it comes to the impact on executive functioning -
Fast pacing is a problem.
Educational or slow paced fare is not.

Show quote history

If your experience of “screen time”
for kids is based on the 90s then it’s basically complete irrelevant to the experience of kids today.

I was a child in the 90s and it was like a different universe compared
to what is possible and accessible these days from tv to social media to gaming. I worry for my kids and the question of how best to navigate it all is a really important one.

sociallydistained · 17/05/2023 07:34

Not zero screentime here but I cut it down completely to an episode of in the night garden if we have a lot of time after bath etc (not often we do) but before this I relied on it quite a lot and used YouTube on my phone so I could tidy up at work after dinner (I'm a nanny). I made a change when after two weeks of being off work he had dinner at work threw it all on the floor and demanded YouTube on my phone! He had made that association that I allowed him there after dinner. He's 1! I since then months ago have never let him watch anything on my phone and he doesn't ask. We have a Tonie box and we put the Tonie Box on at the usual times I would rely on TV. It's made a big difference.

I think at the moment your son felt a sense of boredom he didn't try to alleviate it himself by creating more play but wanted the phone as he associates that with what to do next when bored. You've done nothing wrong, I was the same but I would say try and cut him having any association with your phone for screen.

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MucozadeOnLucozade · 17/05/2023 23:31

My child invited an eight year old around for a playdate. We got all the Lego out prepared. The child didn't want to play with it and kept asking that we put our TV on! I kept saying no and he kept pestering, but he didn't get it! Thought it was odd.

mathanxiety · 18/05/2023 04:24

If your experience of “screen time” for kids is based on the 90s then it’s basically complete irrelevant to the experience of kids today.

^I was a child in the 90s and it was like a different universe compared
to what is possible and accessible these days from tv to social media to gaming. I worry for my kids and the question of how best to navigate it all is a really important one.^

@ParentsTrapped

I am very familiar with what's on offer now - a lot of it is pure dreck. It is still possible to curate the screen experience a child has. It takes a little research, but there is excellent material out there.

Lightningstrikess · 26/06/2023 09:12

DC aged 11 & 9... No screen time ever (as is hand held devices) movie at the weekend only if it raining heavily.
They have no time for screens, very busy with extracurriculars, enjoy being outdoors lots, have always had unlimited books & trips to the library twice a week.
This absolutely works for us as a family. I don't think gaming is productive at all. Some parents argue tech is the way forward & kids will need it for future careers but not now with A. I.. Great social & communion skills will be needed in the future & they won't be nurtured from hours of roblox.

Lightningstrikess · 26/06/2023 09:18

littleripper · 15/05/2023 21:19

Until they were 11 it was zero unless it was something we were watching together. We would watch a film on a Saturday night and we let them each choose another thing - a show so DS always had DR Who and DD would chose Let's Dance on the Wii.
At 11 they got iphone but no screens upstairs until post 16. And I check the phones regularly - yes read all the snapchats etc.
They are 18 and 19 now and both thank me for being so firm. DD is particular has seen a lot of friends have serious MH issues and/or make mistakes with photos/messages late at night. They both choose to turn phones off fairly early and have very moderated screen use. It never effected their social lives other than to steer them away from the groups where constant social media use was a requirement of friendship. They both have long term relationships are have done exceptionally well academically.

I work with young people and advise on parenting. I cannot over emphasise the damage that screens are doing to young minds.

This is wonderful advice. My dc are device free & I'll make no apologies for it!

Covidwoes · 26/06/2023 09:56

Interesting thread! I don't limit screen time. I realise this sounds awful, and it is something we will likely have to do when the DDs (nearly 5 and nearly 2.5) are older, BUT what I find is by not limiting them, they don't see them as something special. My older DD has never asked to watch a screen (eg my phone) when we are out, as she doesn't see it as a treat. I also find she doesn't spend ages on it when she is on it, as again, it isn't something she barely gets (so therefore wants). I would say the max time she spends on it is half an hour before she wants to play outside, or play with toys. I do realise this will likely change as she gets older though, but for now it works for us!

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