Shouting doesn’t seem to be a thing with MC parents?

[Cutest]

Currently on holiday in a very MC expensive resort. I’m doing a lot of people watching while bouncing youngest DC on my knee and pottering about. Very interesting that there are really no raised voices from parents at all.

I was raised in a WC household and went to eg caravan parks for family holidays, and very clearly remember a lot of shouting from all around, all the time. My mum was very shouty and seemed to relish in putting on a good show of loud threats and comedy insults. I have worked hard at not shouting at my young DC but admit I have to think about it and work at it, as my role modelling when young was the opposite.

Am I correct in that not raising voices in general is a middle class parenting thing? And is it conscious? Or because previous generations have also not been shouty?

Both. It’s have the communication skills and emotional intelligence to be able to deal things without shouting and a reflection of parenting trends.

They absolutely do shout at their children, just not in public.

It still happens but I would say it's far less likely.

I was at a skiing resort last year with a few MC shouty parents and I did find it strange.

Then we saw them snorting coke outside the bar and the penny dropped.

The more support you have in life, the more comfortable you are in life, the more things you can do to enjoy yourself and de stress, the less likely you are to shout. Money helps massively with all those things. So basically MC parents have the financial resources to help with their emotional regulation.

My parents were very much middle class and they were absolutely shouty. They needed to be seen getting kids to toe the line and clips around the ear out in public were a socially acceptable parental control tool of the day. I think in general the abusive way of controlling children both physically and through verbal threats have been declined in being socially acceptable in these past 2 generations.

So basically MC parents have the financial resources to help with their emotional regulation

Nah my parents were well off, money didn’t help with their emotional dysregulation one bit.

Hardly anyone these days is going to literally shout at their kids in public in a holiday resort, partly because there are fewer stressors that would cause shouting to arise and partly for fear of their parenting being judged. I would strongly suspect most of those kids will still hear raised voices when it’s 8:25, they were meant to leave for school at 8:15 and they’ve not got their socks on yet. It’s just life, isn’t it? I do reprimand my kids in public and hear other parents doing so constantly (in a v v middle class area), but generally people are trying to do so as quietly as possible.

What type of things do you think they should be shouting at their kids about while on a nice holiday?

I don't think people do shout much these days. I can't think of any friends who do.

When my DS1 was very young, young enough to be in the child seat in a supermarket trolley, he was poking his baby brother next to him.

Says I "If you don't stop that Mummy will get very cross"

Response "you won't shout in Tesco".

He was right, I shout more than I should but never in public.

Yes middle class parents are much better parents than those working class peasants! ffs.

no one is going to shout at kids in a posh restaurant or resort, no matter what class they are. But obviously minimum wage isn’t going to get you into a posh resort in the first place.

The same way a lot of people put on ‘posh’ telephone voices when they pick up the phone no matter what class.

Behind closed doors things will be different for every family.

once you get to a top tax bracket you don’t suddenly become a calm, kind and zen parent and overall better person.

I was raised working class, no shouting growing up, don't shout as a parent either. I don't think it's a class thing, more a personality thing/emotional intelligence.
Last year on holiday there was one particular family who appeared middle class who were downright horrible to their toddler. But generally people are happier on holiday without all the stresses of daily life so are in all probability less likely to shout anyway.

I'm not MC and I rarely shouted. It was seen as 'common', respectable WC parents I knew would have been embarrassed to be seen shouting at their kids. You shout if a child is about to do something dangerous and need to get their attention immediately, not to tell them off.

I have never shouted at my kids and would not class myself as anything more than working class. I had a friend who preferred to shout who was from a similar background to me and I found it fairly disturbing to be honest. Why the need to shout? Why not sit and talk?

No idea if it’s a class thing.

My parents shouted constantly and I hated it. It made me a very anxious child. They were just crap parents all round though.

We made a conscious decision to not shout at our children. We’ve been firm and had boundaries when needed but no shouting.

This is very interesting and a great insight. Thanks!

I don't know that it is a class thing, it's more that it's just not seen as acceptable to shout at anyone, including children, these days.

I second the 'common' connotation, the same with swearing. We were upper WC. My DPs rarely shouted, but smacked, forcibly restrained and made threats.

Loads of "MC" parents shout. Just don't like to do it in public. Also not just shouting. But ignoring looks of steel. More than one way to terrify your child without shouting at them

I don’t know if it’s a class thing but I just don’t think parents do shout at children when out and about (they might well do at home though).

But how do you know they shout if they don't do it in public?

My parents shouted and threatened A LOT, but they had 5 kids and it was a form of crowd control, or the only way they would be heard over the racket!

It is much easier with fewer kids.

Yes, as well as being far, dirty, and stupid, working class people also scream at their kids. Of course the middle classes never shout. I mean your parents shouted at you and some parents you saw on holiday once didn’t shout, so the only thing that can be understood from that is that middle class people simply don’t shout.

@FoodFestfFork neighbours. Also their kids telling me when we were kids 🙃. Also parents admitting it while pissed on a mum's night out. 🤷

Fat even.