He is still doing it ......

[Katekate1991]

If any of you read my first post you will know this is a very strange situation. So after the father of my child is still calling himself mummy (then denying it) I'm considering contacting the social services because surely him doing this is wrong. I was just wondering what you guys think? Because its getting to the point now of what ever I say he just doesn't stop. He has the upper hand because he always says i miss here, or he is saying me and I'm miss hearing. Nothing wrong with my hearing I would simply not miss hear every time he does it. Then he gets aggressive. Please i would apprentice any advice.

It is a bit odd certainly but what on earth do you think SS would do about it? How old is your child and in what context is he saying 'mummy'?

She is 18th months. I don't know I'm just desperate. When I was pregnant he said all this odd stuff, its almost like he had a fantasy of being pregnant saying stuff like ive always wanted to get pregnant then him physically saying I'm not giving birth here. The ludacris hands by his belly. After all this oddness i dumped him. He used to be a cross dresser he promised miss it was just for a laugh nothing more. And now this. I'm worried it will mess our daughters head up. Because he is good at turning it around he has made it clear i cant bring it up to friends and family because he says it will make me look crazy.

This can't continue when i brought it up he got nasty and pushed me against the fridge. When I say I'm going to tell his family he just laughs and says well you will look like the crazy one. I have looked in to getting some recorders around the house but they are expensive. (We are still living together for now)

You don't need recorders, you need to leave him for being violent and abusive. That will mess with your DD's head far more than him calling himself mummy or cross dressing.

Contact Women's Aid.
They will advise you.
He is a violent bully and probably has AGP.
You and your child are not safe with him.

Have a look at this thread, OP.
Trans Widows Escape Committee 5: And so it continues... - www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4236287-trans-widows-escape-committee-5-and-so-it-continues

well from what you have posted I would say that he has some sort of gender dysphoria. Cross dressing, wanting to be pregnant, wanting to be called mummy.

He is violent.
Leave
the rest is up to him to sort out, but easier for you if you are not part of it.

@Katekate1991 call Womans Aid for help leaving and the next time he is violent with you, you call Police and report it.

If he wants to present as a woman and be called Mummy by your DC there isn't much you can do about it.

What you can do is leave, take your DC with you and let him take you to court for access.

A gender confused/fetishist, violent bully is not a good parent. He needs to sort himself out before he can be a parent and have a healthy relationship with his child.

Don't cover for him anymore either. Tell people what he is doing.

We are not together, when he started acting like this I ended it. He is living in my house. We have a mortgage which I cant afford by myself. Im not back at work full time so im not getting enough to cover bills and the mortgage. How ever saying that it is not a long term arrangement he will be moving out. Its my house not hes. He helps contribute by paying rent to me. I just want him to stop calling himself mummy. The thing is when I threaten to tell he says ill look crazy and nobody will believe me.

Just get a cheap phone and record him doing it if uou think it will help you in the future

Thank you for the advice ill look at that link and contact them. If i get a cheap phone he will see it. I need very small recorders that he isnt likely to see. When he pushed me in the fridge I told my nan and sister. I do want to tell people, I'm aware of how crazy it does sound. I just dont want it to backfire. He always they will think I'm the crazy one, no one will believe me everyone will think im mad. When I question if he wants to be a women he says no and apparently all this what he is doing is in my head. All the odd things he said through my pregnancy was apparently sarcasm. He tells me im crazy and calls me a lunatic

Call the police or womens aid.

If you can't afford this house on your own, you need to start making plans to move.

Hi. Mumsnet's resident trans widow guidance poster here.

There is no such thing as "used to be a cross dresser", they either continue to do it in secret or they have binge and purge cycles. It won't have been for a laugh, it will have been for sexual reasons. He doesn't have gender dysphoria, he is an autogynephile, ie he gets aroused by himself pretending to be a woman,

Men in this situation getting their child to call them Mum is not unusual, there is a whole thread about it on FWR. Unfortunately I don't think that this in isolation would be of concern to social services (although I'd be happy to be proved wrong).

However putting that aside, (and I 100% understand why that issue feels like the worst thing), you are in a physically and mentally abusive relationship. He is gaslighting you.

You need to live separately ASAP. As others have said, speak to women's aide about getting him out of your property. Are you able to throw his stuff out and change the locks?

Find out what benefits you would be entitled to. As a single parent there's every chance you'd be able to get benefits to cover your rent.

Once you are living separately his opportunities for LARPing as Mum will be vastly reduced and there's every chance he'll lose interest in your child. This is the best way to resolve the situation.

Tell your friends and family about the abuse. You don't necessarily have to mention the appropriation of motherhood just yet if don't want to. The other stuff is bad enough on its own.

THIS^^

THIS!

When i ask if he wants to be a woman he says no he is happy being a man. When I hear him refer to hisself as mummy he gets nasty either says its all in my head, gets angry and calls me names, says ive missheard or calls me crazy. I even said to him before if he is pretending to be a woman just be honest with me. I've literally begged him to stop calling himself mummy. Its ruining my life. Its not fair on our daughter either.

It is not fair on you or your daughter.
None of it is.
He's doing this to upset you.
It's shocking how he's pretending he likes being a man.
Everything he says and does screams autogynephilia.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanchard%27s_transsexualism_typology

Hello @Katekate1991 It is helpful to think of his behaviour as a kind of personality dissociation. He becomes extremely anti-social e.g. taunting you and manipulative e.g. undermining your sanity. You'll have to be strong. Resist him. Keep a record of the dates and exactly how he abused you, as you have written here.
Then follow all the good advice above. In the end there are two sane people here (your daughter and you) and one insane person. He will never "come back". Autogynaephilia is a disease which never goes away. It is a sexual fetish: once they are bitten, they will always come back to their crazy fetish. I am so sorry. Kick him out ASAP and change the locks.

Oh, what a horrible creep! Wait for him to go work, get a family member to change your locks, and get your family round so you're not alone. Leave the fucknuts bags outside. Dont worry about finances. Your family will rally round untill you get benifits sorted. I'm single and on universal credit as well as work part time, and i manage a mortgage on my own. Also, dont forget he's got to pay maintenance,You can use that to put towards mortgage. CAB will do you a benifits check to tell you what your entitled too or go online theres loads of charities that will tell you what you can get. Dont let him stay he's mentally and physically abusive to you as well as massive cunt.

@Katekate1991 "He helps contribute by paying rent to me": Have you got room for a lodger? They're wonderful for helping bridge the financial gap. I definitely needed one.

You’d be better off with the baby in your room and a female friend as a lodger to make up the mortgage difference than to have this man gaslight you like this.

Tinsel is wise - deffo take note of what she says re: motivations and escalations.

I was considering a lodger i was also considering downsizing as well. My daughter sleeps in my room. He is sleeping in her nursery. I really for the life of me can not understand why a father wants to call himself mummy. I don't want this to be my life. He knows how much its upsetting me and getting me down.

You need to read about autogynephilia. There's resources on the Trans Widows Voices website.

I have read up on autogynephilia it makes sense. Actually it made me remember how he used to be when we was together. Its almost like some of the stuff he would say like he was imagining he was a woman. He would always then act like it was nothing and its all in my head I'm being dramatic and seeing things that aren't there. This has helped a lot I really appreciate this.