Toddler refusing to come in from the garden

[Summerheadache]

It’s lovely he’s having a nice time outside but I’m starting to get mildly concerned he’s going to waste away to nothing. Won’t eat, huge tantrums at bedtime because he has to come in, it’s absolutely doing my head in as I’m starting to feel like a prisoner!

Has anyone got the same problem? Tried outdoor picnics and so on and no joy.

When my kids were small, probably from about your little one's age, I'd quite often put out a plate of salad sticks / mashed fish or hummous for dipping, ham or cheese, pieces of apple, and leave them to eat it as they wished in the garden. If yours is often taking the filling out of sandwiches, don't worry about giving him the bread. Good luck through the summer, long evenings can be tough with toddlers depending on how they sleep / how light sensitive they are!

What on earth is wrong with the set up described? He's playing in a secure garden within his mum's line of sight. Sounds absolutely fine.

It sounds like a development phase. My LO, whose now 3.5, goes through phases where she hardly eats, at other times she eats like she’s a 6ft teenager

@Summerheadache He probably knows how important eating is to YOU!
He probably does it as it worries you?

Does he eat for others?

Try to be very low key around eating, no praise, no rewards, just stop making a big deal out of eating.

It sounds mad, but I had a puppy like this-
The minute I stopped getting anxious and trying to hand feed her choice meals she improved .

I know a child isn’t a puppy, but both are intelligent enough to know what worries us!

My own DS ate ,but he had a fussy friend who ‘se mum’s lovingly made meals that were refused.

If your doctor isn’t concerned, just relax a bit.

As for garden, pick him up Rugby Ball style so kicks can’t hurt you!

My friend used to have the same sort of issue with her ds. In the end, she’d take food outside / put the tv on and physically feed him. Have you tried feeding your ds yourself?

Honestly, everything is a phase and he won’t starve. DD1 lived off Pom Bears, yoghurt and fruit at that age (and some days all she ate was one yoghurt!) and is now at 4 loudly requesting DH make her spaghetti for dinner. Meanwhile, DD2 at 20 months will likely ignore the pasta, eat the peas and then demand Pom Bears.

I definitely think they can sense change in the air at that age, but not fully understand it. DD1 was 2.8 when DD2 was born and was hideous for the last month of my pregnancy and the first three months of being a sister.

Keep repeating that this too shall pass. It’s very handy being a second time parent, because you know that phrase is actually completely true!

I am bit surprised by this set up. He is outside playing. You are inside watching him? This goes on for hours every day?

Also a bit baffled by this. Happy independent play is the dream, surely? OP is hardly turfing him out for 12 hours and ignoring him.

My daughter is also 2.5 and is enjoying being out in the garden all day, every day. I tell her "in 10 minutes, it's time to go inside and eat/nappy/pyjamas for bed" then remind her again at 5 minutes then again at 1 minute. Then tell her it's time to go inside now and if she listens, she will be allowed out again later/tomorrow. It seems to work for her as I'm not abruptly stopping her playtime. Hope you find something that works with your little one x

Following as my ds is about to start doing this. He's just discovered the garden...

With coming in the end of the day I'd always pop my little one straight in the bath. He hated coming in and would not be happy. But once in the bath he would soon forget about it.

You could even do bath time early then he can have his tea after if he's more settled then.

Have you thought of making a play tray up with similar activities like toy lorries & small stones, sand to draw roads, boxes to make garages? My friend's ds had developmental delay & had his terrible twos at 3.5, she bought a tuff tray & made him different activities every day, she used to set it up after he had gone to bed so it was ready when he got up.

Hi, I’ve got a soon to be 2 year old daughter who is very much like this with food, one or two mouthfuls and we’re finished! I was getting concerned about her eating habits so took her to see a health visitor recently who said to persevere with the food - put a meal in front of her let her eat what she wants from her plate and when she says she’s done, she’s done even if it’s only a few mouthfuls she then gets a 5-10 minute break with her water to drink if she wants it before she has
a yogurt or some fruit. They told me that she will eat when she’s hungry and not to let her see me getting frustrated or worried over how little she’s eating because she’ll pick up on it and try and use it to get her own way. We’ve only been working like this for 3 or 4 days but she is at least accepting of food being in front of her now where as before it used to get thrown on the floor.

She also loves being outside and fights to stay out there. I’ve found that giving her a 5 minute warning before we have to stop what she’s doing helps a little bit as she’s prewarned. I remind her every minute (4 minutes then we’re going inside for….3 minutes etc ect) sometimes I use ‘mummy minutes’ where I say 5 minutes but in reality she has 2 or 3, as long as I count down each stage it still works!

It will always be a battle when you start something new but just remember you’ve got this mumma!

Are you sure that was all he ate? Did you give him any snacks (crisps, fruit, cakes, sweets, ice lollys, yoghurt tubes, chopped veg etc) or drinks at all?

Re eating. Try different sweets that need different mouth actions. If they go down then he's fine. If not talk to GP. He'll eat when he's hungry: no toddler starved himself. Ever. Just clear away and try again next time. No pudding or sweets without dinner going down the pink tunnel.

Re coming in pick him up and only let him out if he's good. 2 1/2 is a challenging age. He needs to spend time with grandparents babysitter etc. You need a break/ a drink.

This was me when mine was 1. Refused food but would swallow sweets whole. Didn't get pudding until he was 2. Stubborn little bugger.

When my Dd was small and refusing to eat I’d put a plate of food wherever she was sitting and pretend it was mine.
I’d say to her don’t touch that it’s mine. I’m going out the kitchen to do (whatever) and when I come back there’d better not be any food missing from my plate.
Of course there would always be something missing from the plate and I’d gasp and throw my hands in the air in horror while asking who took the food and looking around for the culprit. I’d do this until she cleared the plate.
A variation of this I’d get a teddy or doll and set it down beside the plate and ask her to guard the food and make sure teddy didn’t take any as I was very hungry but needed to something in another room but would be back in a minute.
It became a game she loved in the end, a bit tedious for me sometimes but it got her to eat her food.