3 week old not sleeping and crying all day?

[Mummytotwo90]

Hi, I’ll just dive right in because I need help asap I’m so sleep deprived 😭 (having trouble getting a doctors appointment so looking for advice in the meantime)
my son is 3 weeks and I’m exclusively breastfeeding. A typical day/night for us is he is awake all day and I mean ALL day. He cries for hours and nothing I do seems to settle him, he’s on infacol too as he’s very gassy. He’s slept for around 3-4 hours last night 10.30 - 14.00 and then he is very upset crying and unsettled he will not sleep in his next to me cot or Moses basket, I have to hold him all night rocking him and shushing and he may have another hour but I’m absolutely going out of my mind.. it’s been like this for nearly 4 weeks now, when he was born I didn’t sleep for 5 days straight.
he’s been awake since 8am this morning and he still hasn’t slept. I just don’t understand how he’s functioning off 4 hours sleep in 24 hours really it’s baffling to me, I try everything but soon as I put him down he screams and I mean SCREAMS. My partner is now back at work and does nights and I’ve got no help when they’re at work so I’m really loosing my mind today, it’s like the entire 3 weeks have piled up and I feel really depressed.

my first son wasn’t like this and I breastfed he slept every 2 hours and went 4-6 hours of a night since he was born.

everyone I’ve spoken to have advised I quit breastfeeding and use a bottle to get some relief and im honestly thinking about it for my own sanity but then getting upset, as I really wanted to breastfeed but he’s constantly feeding and awake and I can’t get anything done. I’ve got another son to look after and I literally have to make the tea while im breastfeeding. I haven’t even been able to shower I have to get out to feed him etc.

hes still awake now :(

Hi OP, I’m really sorry you’re going through this, sounds really exhausting. Is there a chance the baby suffers from reflux? My 12 week old was sleeping really poorly before he was diagnosed and started medication and now he sleeps much better. You mentioned that your baby is very windy, does he seem to be in pain? For example, does he arch his back when you put him down?

I wouldn’t switch to bottles straight away as it doesn’t sound like it’d solve the actual problem. Is he swallowing as he’s feeding and putting on weight ok? It sounds like horrific reflux but could it be CMPA/cows milk allergy? You’re perhaps already doing this, but do have a carrier or a sling you can carry him around in all day?

My youngest dd had CMPA and severe reflux - was diagnosed around 6 weeks but it still took another few months for her to settle and I survived just having her in a sling 24/7, constantly on the move. I did lose all of the baby weight fast 😅 She’s still a high needs baby but a happy(ish) one.

Can you message the HV and tell her you’re struggling? Mine came round at one point just to hold my dd while she screamed to give me a break (we have no family support), or do you have someone who could come round for an hour a day for the next few weeks?

Huge un-mumsnetty hugs to you because it’s so, so hard and quite frankly you’ve done well to get through 4 weeks of this without losing your mind. I don’t think people truly understand unless they’ve had a baby like this.

Meant to say- we were out on omeprazole for the reflux which did help a bit.

Would he sleep on you during the day?

I remember 3 weeks and feeding all night long. I’m sorry it sounds really hard for you right now.

Is he having lots of weighty wet nappies? Any signs of dehydration?

I would push midwife/health visitor/GP to get you a referral to check everything too.

Have you tried calling la Leche league- I found their advice really good.

A cloth sling worked for my very unsettled baby as a newborn and gave me a rest- a caboo type one.

I second this. One of my babies could only be settled by being 'swaddled' onto me.

so he’ll fall asleep for tiny intervals if I hold him and that’s what I’ve been doing during the day but he wakes all of sudden crying, we’ve had a hard start he was tongue tied and got it cut two weeks ago and had been putting on weight since and lots of wet nappies etc.
but I do think he’s got reflux but my health visitor and midwife haven’t been all that helpful they signed me off and just said he was a fussy baby and he’ll outgrow it, just advised I sleep when he sleeps but I can’t because when I try and put him down he cries 😭 I haven’t got a sling as I had a c section and I’m still quite sore so I have to prop him on a feeding pillow, I had quite a bad birth and needed two blood transfusions so I feel extra tired I’m not sure if that’s maybe made my breastmilk suffer..

ive never found it so hard to get a GP appointment it’s so bad at the moment I’ve rang every day I’m in two minds to ring 111? Would they even be able to help x

Another thing I just remembered I had to do to even be in with a chance of eventually laying her down in her Next2me/Moses was to wrap the mattress with one of my dirty tops. The mattress ‘wore’ the top so there was no way baby could get under it/it was as safe as possible if that makes sense? But it meant that it smelt of me. A safer version of this could be if you slept on Next2me sheet for a couple of nights so that it smelt of you?

The suddenly waking up screaming really sounds like CMPA- is it like a pain wakes him up?

I’ll try this tonight and wrap my pj top around it and try sleeping on the cot sheet, thank you x

He seems in pain when he wakes as he doesn’t give any indication he’s going to wake up, just wakes up crying it’s horrible to see. My midwife just advised using infacol as he was gassy and said it might be too much foremilk x

Definitely keep trying a dummy too if he isn’t yet taking one - you can get anatomical ones he might take. My dd takes bibs ones. I was dead against dummies before her 😂. Try cutting milk from your diet and see if there’s any improvement.

And try white noise. This one has worked for all of my children and has a free app you can download onto your phone (that means white noise will play but you can still use your phone); https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jAOW8-u1Xh8&vl=en

I went a bit ott one night in a sleep deprived state and ordered a snuz cloud and ewan the sheep and I use white noise on my phone. He does like the white noise but won’t help lull him to sleep unfortunately 😩 he’s got a dummy too I bought a nanobene and a mam one but he tends to spit it out and doesn’t seem taken, he prefers to breastfeed 😂 he’s got me pulling my hair out I swear, he’s lucky he’s cute!

He does sound tricky 😩 I say the same about my dd- she’s extra cute to make up for the extra grief she’s put me through 😂 keep going with the dummies. I had to breastfeed her to sleep and then sneak my nipple out and put the dummy in and she eventually took it. Could your dp try wearing him in a carrier with something smelling of you - that might give you some respite?

Although saying that, she didn’t feed to sleep for about 4 months so it was more bf until she stopped screaming/was more dozy 🙃

Sorry for the obvious answer but is it possible he's just massively overtired and can't sleep? My son was incredibly overtired this one time and only napped for 10 minutes!

Have you got your mum or friend or someone who can come and hold him for a couple of hours? He can have a contact nap on someone else and you go for a much needed snooze as well!

I would definitely pursue a GP appointment to rule out anything physical as well

Well done for breastfeeding this long. I know you said you were considering giving it up but it doesn't sound like the root cause of the problem.

Sending hugs. It will get better

I haven't read all replies so apologies if this has been said already.

Firstly, it won't be to do with breastfeeding. I must have at least 5 friends now who've been in a similar position and nothing at all has changed when they've switched to a bottle - if anything it's been worse and have them felt really sad that their breast feeding journey ended early, so unless you want to stop breastfeeding, don't do so as likely nothing will change!

That said, it might be worth looking at symptoms of lactose intolerance in babies and seeing if baby has any of those. If yes, a visit to the GP/HV is in order. Especially as you say baby is gassy.

Cranial osteopathy might be a good idea too? Many babies who are "cryers" are much better after seeing a cranial osteopath.

Have you tried white noise/brown noise/womb sounds?

Was baby born very quickly? Could they have fluid on their lungs that they need to get up? (This was the case with my eldest!)

Are they being burped sufficiently and upright for at least 20 minutes before being laid down?

Have you tried swaddling? This worked wonders for us with our youngest and also helps with gas issues!!

Have you got a sling? That way baby is upright and can go to sleep in the daytime to stop them getting overtired at night.

Instead of infacol or gripe water, I'd recommend sugar water instead. Much more effective.

Also if it's stomach cramps, have you tried eating prunes if you're breastfeeding? Can really get things moving!!

It would be worth joining this Facebook group - I've found it invaluable and Sarah who runs the group is a baby expert! She's a maternity nurse and baby consultant and really knows her stuff.

www.facebook.com/groups/brilliantbabysolutions/permalink/526305602918254/

Sorry for such an influx and you don't have to reply to everything but just some thoughts for you

Thank you everyone for your replies, I haven’t got anyone else to hand to help at all as my mums a nurse and works 8-8 and my partner has gone back to night shifts, they are so helpful when they’re off and do take my son while I sleep even if it’s for an hour.. tbh he seems to settle more for them than me and takes a dummy off them. He just constantly wants to BF when I have him hah. I’ll definitely add that Facebook group thanks so much!

im going to try and ring my GP tomorrow morning again, to rule anything else out etc as he’s been awake over 13 hours now :( wish me luck I get through! X

Hi I haven’t read all of the replies so apologies if this has come up already.

I lost a lot of blood during birth and had to have a blood transfusion. My LO was exactly like yours and it turned out he was starving as I was anemic and not producing enough milk. We switched to formula and he slept 4 hours straight away. It was the first time I was able to put him down.

This was in the first week though so unsure of my scenario is still applicable to yours as you may of now established a good supply, but I would deffo seek some advise to confirm that.

If you call 111 they are able to book Dr’s appointments for you.

It’s awful and was one of the most stressful thing I have ever gone through. Hang in there!

I was really anemic as the one blood transfusion didn’t work I had to have a second one and they sent me home with three boxes of iron tablets x3 daily. I’m assuming my milk supply is okay as I don’t pump but he’s constantly breastfeeding so maybe that’s a reason? I’ve tried a bottle tonight as I got so upset at him crying and he’s been awake nearly 20 hours straight. But the bottle hasn’t done anything he’s still crying and wide awake, 111 have advised to ring the GP in the morning so if I don’t get an appointment I’m going to take him the walk in.. I’ve never experienced this before or known a baby so young not to sleep? It’s overwhelming I’m really worried about him now as he’s just cried none stop for nearly 24 hours and is so unsettled apart from when he’s breastfeeding! It’s exhausting and I honestly feel defeated, I have to do the school run in 5 hours and I feel like crying I’m beyond tired :( xx

I feel for you. Ours was sleeping 8 hours in 24 to start with and screaming the rest and that was hard enough, 4 hours must be really hard. It turned out ours is allergic to milk and soya (the proteins come through in breast milk) but we didn't realise for a long time, slept better once I cut them out. Things that helped a bit before that were Infacol once built up to full dose, different winding techniques, bf with her resting on pillows propped up with a cushion at one end then I'd hand her over to someone on the top pillow once sleeping, warm baths, pram walks, part swaddling, persevering with dummy, soothing music. After 2 months we got huckleberry app, paid to get the wake windows and followed that with a walk on every naptime which helped. Wish I'd learned to bf lying down earlier. Hope you can get some help from somewhere even someone to have the other kids or just watch for safety while you nap with baby on you in the daytime, whatever works, you have to sleep. Hope it gets easier soon.

my Youngest was the same- I called my GP and she was great and was so supportive. She said it wasn’t normal for a baby to scream for hours. So she started him on gaviscon which did nothing apart from give him constipation. . Then we went on ranitidine which was the game changer. I also invested in reflux wedges for his cot, pram and Moses basket. I used to lie him on his back and do bicycles with his legs and I have never heard so much has come from a tiny person. He was also found to have a tongue tie so that was snipped too. Took a while but he was a far happier baby - hope you get support from your Gp- don’t let them fob you off

Hey @Mummytotwo90 just wanted to say this isn't right (I have a 5 week old
dC2). I'd ring the doc and insist you need an urgent appt. For a baby that small they'll have to see you.