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smith35 · 13/02/2023 09:49

Tupl · 13/02/2023 00:07

Go away for a week and leave their baby with grandparents when the baby is two months old?

I admit it, I judged. I know I shouldn’t, I just can’t imagine handing over my baby so young for so long?!

You do what makes you feel happy. Mental health is real and if you need some time away for an occasion do not feel bad or guilty. I have our my child at numerous ages with her grandparents where she is loved happy and has a great time, to go and have a romantic getaway with my husband. Or a birthday getaway for a few days. We did a week when she was 3 for our honeymoon yes we missed her so much but we are still a couple too we need us time. Alot of people think that your just mum and dad your husband and wife too or wife and wife or Mr and Mr everyone needs time for them too. It doesn't mean you don't love them or your neglecting them. My daughter loves her grandparents so much and because of those times she's stayed for a few days and a week she has such a bond with them. No right or wrong answer. Mum guilt is real we all have it it's what your comfortable doing there should never be any judgements on you for that x

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/02/2023 09:52

This thread is like a feast for pearl clutching drama llamas

louise5754 · 13/02/2023 09:53

I don't do this now even though they are pre teens. I just think if we have the money to go away then DC should be able go away too.

bloodywhitecat · 13/02/2023 09:56

Would I have done it when my children were that young? No, they started staying over at nanny's house when they were old enough to ask to stay. Would I judge a mother who did leave her young baby? No.

BestMamEver101 · 13/02/2023 09:59

Think it's disgisting, bond must not be very gud

Emmamoo89 · 13/02/2023 10:00

I wouldn't leave my son but wouldn't judge others for doing it

BadHabitsGoodFun · 13/02/2023 10:06

Ooh love a bit of competitive parenting! 🙄

Mine were 25 before I left them for a minute - do I win? 😄

Nosleepforthismum · 13/02/2023 10:09

No judgement here.

My DS was in NICU for the first few weeks of his life and I wasn’t able to be with him all hours of the day and so he was predominantly looked after by various nurses and doctors. He’s a happy and robust 18 month old now and he doesn’t appear to have any trauma or issues from not being with me 24 hours a day from birth.

Also, I bet the grandparents are absolutely over the moon to have him at 2 months old for a week. It’s a nice opportunity for them to bond with the baby as well.

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 10:19

I say good for them.

They would be much better parents in the long run because their MH and sleep would be better.

Some children are put into nursery from a very early age or are raised by their grandparents.

Others don’t let their kids out of their sight , including homeschool until they grow up and leave home.

Wonderfulbutwornout · 13/02/2023 10:23

Each to their own. I haven’t and wouldn’t do it. I’d miss them and they would miss me too much. Especially my 5 year old.

Euchariahere · 13/02/2023 10:24

NuffSaidSam · 13/02/2023 09:32

It's not about another adult cannot provide basic care but the absence of the parents will certainly effect the child's development.

I would love to see some evidence for this?! What a claim! A week away, leaving them with Grandparents, will CERTAINLY effect the child's development?! I mean it sounds like bullshit, but please post the link to the research.

There's loads of studies into it. If you think the baby is eight weeks old and is being left for a week of its life (a significant period considering its age) without understanding why and that its parents are coming back. Yes it really would be distressing for the baby of course the parents wouldn't be none the wiser as it can't articulate it's distress with words.

But people will believe what suits them. 🙄

sunshinenroses · 13/02/2023 10:27

Hm, come 6 months I wouldn't judge. But perhaps that early on I would

bellswithwhistles · 13/02/2023 10:28

My two are 10 and I still haven't had a night away from them!

sunshinenroses · 13/02/2023 10:29

WimpoleHat · 13/02/2023 09:02

Honestly? I’d think there was some serious problem that I didn’t know about - mother on the verge of suicide with PND, something like that. It’s a very extreme thing to
do when you have such a small baby.

Yes i agree with this, I'd assume it was for the greater good and the parents were making the decision to deal with some sort of crisis.

Judgyjudgy · 13/02/2023 10:30

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 10:19

I say good for them.

They would be much better parents in the long run because their MH and sleep would be better.

Some children are put into nursery from a very early age or are raised by their grandparents.

Others don’t let their kids out of their sight , including homeschool until they grow up and leave home.

I don't agree with this, only because if you have someone who can look after your child for a week then I think it's fair to assume that you have a good support network already. I can see that someone who doesn't could have MH issues and may need a break. I also think there's a difference between need and want. If you need to for MH or anything of course that's OK and no judgement, but if you're doing it for fun and a holiday, for a week ... well, yes judgement. I also think it's naive to think a 2 month old wouldn't notice its parents suddenly disappearing

NuffSaidSam · 13/02/2023 10:31

Euchariahere · 13/02/2023 10:24

There's loads of studies into it. If you think the baby is eight weeks old and is being left for a week of its life (a significant period considering its age) without understanding why and that its parents are coming back. Yes it really would be distressing for the baby of course the parents wouldn't be none the wiser as it can't articulate it's distress with words.

But people will believe what suits them. 🙄

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People will believe what suits them? Like you're doing...

I mean you've said 'they'll be none the wiser' because the baby can't articulate it....but babies are actually very good at letting you know if they're not happy aren't they? It one of their main skills! I think it would be evident if the baby was unsettled/unhappy with who was giving the milk and cuddles. Truth is, as long as they're getting milk and cuddles they're actually ok!

I apologize, I'm not aware of any of the studies showing that parents going away for a week impacts a child's development, but I would really love for you to link to one because that sounds like really important research!

MrsMikeDrop · 13/02/2023 10:33

NuffSaidSam · 13/02/2023 10:31

People will believe what suits them? Like you're doing...

I mean you've said 'they'll be none the wiser' because the baby can't articulate it....but babies are actually very good at letting you know if they're not happy aren't they? It one of their main skills! I think it would be evident if the baby was unsettled/unhappy with who was giving the milk and cuddles. Truth is, as long as they're getting milk and cuddles they're actually ok!

I apologize, I'm not aware of any of the studies showing that parents going away for a week impacts a child's development, but I would really love for you to link to one because that sounds like really important research!

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I'm not sure why you're so obsessed with links for studies, surley some stuff is just commonsense or instinct?

ItsaStupidSillyThing · 13/02/2023 10:35

I think the situation of a parent going a way for a week when the baby is so young sparks further speculation. It makes you think will this become a habit throughout the child's life.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 13/02/2023 10:38

I would either think they're massively struggling or just don't give a shit. Either way it's worrying for the child.

bravotango · 13/02/2023 10:38

I definitely wouldn't do it but ordinarily wouldn't judge parents who would make that decision. But if it's who I'm thinking of (that you're talking about) then I also judged, mainly because it almost seems like they did it to be controversial and get slammed on social media so they could shout back? Not great.

NuffSaidSam · 13/02/2023 10:39

MrsMikeDrop · 13/02/2023 10:33

I'm not sure why you're so obsessed with links for studies, surley some stuff is just commonsense or instinct?

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Some stuff is, of course. But this isn't.

People are claiming that a baby left for a week with grandparents will be traumatised and developmentally impaired as a result.

That sort of claim needs evidence. Otherwise it's just a wild opinion, which is fine, but not sufficient to judge someone else's parenting on.

megletthesecond · 13/02/2023 10:42

I've googled and figured out who this probably is. They lead a very charmed life.

MrsMikeDrop · 13/02/2023 10:48

NuffSaidSam · 13/02/2023 10:39

Some stuff is, of course. But this isn't.

People are claiming that a baby left for a week with grandparents will be traumatised and developmentally impaired as a result.

That sort of claim needs evidence. Otherwise it's just a wild opinion, which is fine, but not sufficient to judge someone else's parenting on.

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I'm guessing there probably won't be much evidence considering most people aren't going to try this for research ... not only that but there's so many variables in a childs life how would you even be able to link it? I think for something like this you'd need to go with gut instinct and common sense, like most things in life.
I also think that if a parent did this (for fun and not a genuine need) then there's probably more things to come, that of course is speculation on my part

PourAStrongOne · 13/02/2023 10:52

I have judged, yes. I’ve known 2 couples do it. Both babies were very unsettled and the relatives they stayed with had a very difficult time.

MrsMikeDrop · 13/02/2023 10:52

megletthesecond · 13/02/2023 10:42

I've googled and figured out who this probably is. They lead a very charmed life.

I wonder if now this will change things knowing its a random celebrity couple who then are obviouslydoing it for 'fun'. Are you able to give a hint?

What do you make of parents who…

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