Ex giving night nurse to my 13 year old

[kl76]

Hi I'm a newbie here and looking for some reassurance that I'm not going OTT with my ex hub and his new wife's care of my DD ( 13) when she has a cold 🙈. I just found out off DD they've been giving her Night nurse
She's had manageable sore throat and common cold symptoms which imo can easily be managed by rest , Calpol , or even odd paracetamol tablet now. Night nurse is a pretty strong cocktail of drugs plus alcohol , and clean knocks out my DPs dad 😂. Thing is his new wife is a pharmacy technician 🙄and consulted her bnf book which stated it was fine for over 12s ( unlike sale license of age 16). The night nurse leaflet is full of warmings so I don't care about bnf tbh! Imo it's a strong drug that's not necessary for her. Exes wife has basically advised him to give my DD this and I'm really not happy . His new wife doesn't have a good relationship with me so I can't raise my concern with her . She was a friend of mine and started a relationship with my ex when we were separating ( me and ex and kids were still all living together ) and she involved my kids and all sorts far too soon. Despite this, I'm happy to talk to her , have no problem with her and it's been 3 years now since ex and I divorced. We have all since moved on with our lives , but they live around the corner and she refuses to be civil - won't even say hello or answer the door to me or to anyone related or connected to me; and my ex tells me she thinks I'm a hypocrite and drama queen for reasons I am honestly oblivious to 🙄. I've raised the medicine issue with my ex hub and he's saying that his wife knows best because she's a pharmacy technician . She's certainly not qualified to diagnose or prescribe and I myself am more qualified in a professional medical capacity , so its abit annoying that my opinion as my DDs mother isn't taken into account. My DD is far too young to be having night nurse when there are easily loads of other medications she can safely have for a simple cold. I'm always reluctant to raise any concerns as they are both so unapproachable and get super defensive when I raise anything to do with my girls - saying I'm controlling and a drama queen. Believe me ...I rarely approach them , I only ever raise the odd thing that I believe I should be involved in about my girls care/ school etc . I communicate in a non attacking way and I pick my battles and let a lot go . Im not trying to control what goes on in their home here ( he will say I am ), I'm concerned about my Dad's welfare. I think this is a subject ok to raise with him. Do any of you lovely Mums agree or should I have left it?

Last para should read my DDs welfare ! Should be asleep ..it's too late 😂
TIA for any input ☺️

You’re overreacting.

OTT

Overreaction, I’d give it to my 12 year old DS, the package says 12+… sale might be to 16+ but it’s suitable from 12+.

Really oh ...I assumed it was pretty strong, it's 18 percent alcohol plus equivalent of 2 paracetamols, an antihistamine plus a drug similar to codeine 😂. All in one dose.

I personally wouldn't let her have it but thanks for your opinions.

I myself am more qualified in a professional medical capacity ,

What are your medical qualifications?

Night Nurse instructions says the liquid is suitable for children over 12. Are your qualifications higher than the manufacturers?

I am a recovering alcoholic,sober almost 20years,Night Nurse is very popular with alcoholics,no way should a 13year old be given it for a cold.Totally over the top,I would be furious if it was my child.

I've seen " suitable for over 16s", I haven't seen anything about age 12? . If you Google there's quite alot of warnings saying it shouldn't be administered to under 16s without medical guidance. Well if it is age 12 then thats reassuring. Thanks

I wouldn’t be a fan of my child having it personally no.

I would be ok with this as a one off, so long as not used for every sniffle Dd has, however this doesn’t mean that you should change your mind , as you did discuss that you were guided by her symptoms not being severe also.

You do ideally need to be able to voice your concerns freely with your exDh and ex friend and you shouldn’t feel like you are not able to have a fair discussion.

I think you are handling it as best you can, and you gave it some some thought before raising anything with them due to previous difficulties with easy resolution.

MarshaMelrose ....I think the manufacturers are qualified to sell rather than think about the health of my child thanks. My quals are medically allied ( BSc) . I have experience in drug and alcohol rehab and acute mental health as an O.T . Night nurse can be an addictive medicine so I'd rather not introduce her to it at 13. I may as well give her a shot of port mixed with a couple of paracetamols 😂

Here you go. Hope it makes you feel a bit reassured.

lloydspharmacy.com/products/night-nurse-liquid-160ml

Thanks Hellopello, that's reassuring. I think my OTT is partly due to the fact I don't trust her as much as I'd like because of the past. I do trust my ex hub though so I think as a one off , you're right , it's probably fine.

I wouldn't give it to a child unless they had very bad flu and were struggling to sleep.

At 12 for a cold, I'd give her calpol and put some olbas oil on her pillowcase to help her breathe.

Thanks MarshaMelrose, appreciate that 😊

It's fine to give it to her. You are overreacting. My mum used to give me 2 paracetamol and a hot chocolate with brandy in it when I was that age to help me sleep when I was ill. I survived perfectly well.

18% alcohol of a teaspoon isn’t going to be a lot…

You're way overreacting. Night nurse is absolutely fine and is recommended for children over 12. It clearly states that on the bottle.

My three have had it a number of times, as did I at their age. We are all still here I can assure you.

I'd only give it to a 12yo with full blow flu, not a little sniffle. But I wouldn't be losing any sleep over her having been given it by dad unless it was a regular occurrence.

But night nurse is actually magic. I didnt know 12 Yr olds could have it but now I do I'd be tempted with my kids, especially when they feel run down with a cold I always used tk find nn knocked me out enough to feel better

You are over reacting. Fine to give a teen night nurse if they need some sleep. While in her father's care he can decide if it is suitable. Not you.

L

A teaspoon of night nurse isn’t going to turn her into an alcoholic. You’re overreacting.

Give a 12 year old calpol? How ridiculous. You are overreacting because you're trying to find fault with this woman and it's clouding your judgement. The manufacturer says 12+ which will be erring on the side of caution. Get a grip!

Fuck me that's a lot in the mix I would never have thought to give it too a child

It sounds like she feels a bit superior to you now she 'has' him and you don't ignore the behaviour help DD express her own feelings ie I don't want this i would rather have that etc

Yes - you are over reacting. It’s a minimal amount. You don’t get to micromanage your ex when your DDs are in their care.
The BNF is the perfect place to have looked for information like this. It’s the Bible as far as info regarding medication is concerned.