If you breastfed your first child did you breastfeed your next child? And why?

[Cleanqueennot]

I’m so exhausted with my baby at the moment. He is 6 months old and overnight he wakes every 1-2 hours, only breast feeding will settle him. Don’t want advice on settling techniques as have tried loads and not a fan of any training methods/theories. He is usually quite easy to settle back to sleep but the short bits of sleep are really not enough for me as I often can’t get back to sleep after settling him. During the day I am constantly on the go because he will only nap in his pram so I go for 1 long or 2 short walks a day to get him to nap but then by about 5pm he needs another nap but I just can’t do another walk! Im exhausted and talking to others it seems like they get to put their babies down for a nap and chill out for an hour or so during the day, I don’t even get a minute to myself as he will only nap on the move. Please don’t suggest a sling, like I said I’m not really looking for sleep methods for him I’ve tried them all. Husband recently has been working late and doesn’t get home until 6 or 7pm most nights and does what he can when he’s home but by the time he’s home I’m already at my wits end and exhausted. I honestly feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I just live for the weekend when husband can take over more! I feel guilty because it’s not how I thought I would be spending my maternity leave tbh.

All the other mums I meet at baby’s classes etc say their babies at a similar age are sleeping at least 3-4 hours at night and they can put them down for naps. All these babies are formula fed. Is it just coincidence that mine is breastfed and I’m going through all of this? I don’t want to quit breastfeeding him so please don’t suggest I do. Im more interested in hearing from mums that have actually breastfed as I don’t know anyone that has IRL. Im questioning whether to change my mindset and if I have another baby wondering whether formula would be better for them in that they would be a happier, more settled baby.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. Please be kind. One sleep deprived mama here! X

Yes, I breastfed both of mine. The first in particular wasn't a good sleeper. Night weaned him about 6-8 months, by getting my partner to get up for him and offer water as he wouldn't settle if he could smell milk.

Stopped at about a year for both as I felt ( literally!) drained. The first one wasn't too happy about stopping but the second stopped quite naturally I think.

I breast fed all mine for the 1st month would loved to have breast fed longer but I needed to go back on my medication that's not safe to breast fed while taking.

Your not alone. About to hit that phase again & start heading back to work.....
It will not last forever. It's sucks but it's not forever.
I did sleep train at 10 months & am very fond of baby wearing, I know you said not for you but you will find your way to deal with it.

Breast fed my first and he as awful as a sleeper and I had an almost 4 year age gap as I was so tired between my two. My second was also exclusively bf but a smaller baby and it worked with her x

Sorry you're having a hard time. It really is down to the baby. I have 3, all ebf and all different. Do you have to get up in the night to breastfeed? Could you do it in your sleep by taking one side off the cot and pushing it up to your side of the bed so you're practically Cosleeping? My first was a terrible napper and would only sleep if I was breastfeeding her and rocking her, I ended up putting lullabies on the TV and breastfeeding her while bouncing on the exercise ball 🙈
I hope you manage to find something that works for you all 💐

I breastfed my first for 15 months, she was an excellent sleeper but shit napper. Currently breastfeeding my second (ten months) and still get up at least twice a night but usually 3 times… I’m so tired!!

I have a next to me crib and I feed lying down. I still have to wake up to lift him into my bed every hour though and it’s getting too much for me. I have tried co sleeping safely but still doesn’t allow me decent sleep as I start getting a numb arm for sleeping in the same position and I can’t turn the other way when baby is there. Like I said, I’ve given up hope this time round and resigned to feeling exhausted mentally and physically. Just want to know if I should do things differently next time round or if it’s not my fault.

First baby I mixed fed, went into formula at six months. Had some bad advice and a tongue tie that wasn't picked up. He was an atrocious sleeper and nothing changed when he went onto formula.

Second baby his tongue tie was picked up. He went on to breast feed (exclusively and thank goodness because it turned out he had a severe anaphylactic allergy to dairy) for four years. He was an amazing sleeper, would self settle sat next to me with no input at all from me to get him to sleep.

It's bloody tough at this age OP, and they're all individual. Some sleep, some don't. I'm convinced that the way we feed them doesn't have anything to do with it

I feel for you op, it's tough. For what it's worth, I breastfeed both of mine for 17-18 months. Dd1 was a great sleeper, dd2 was awful.

I think it’s a coincidence honestly. My BF baby slept through the night earlier than my friends FF baby. But another FF baby slept through earlier than my DS. BF was definitely a comfort to DS if he was ill, now he’s 18mo he just wants a cuddle. Still wants me over DH. And that’s the same for the FF babies I know whose mum is the main carer (my friend is a SAHD and he’s the go to person in their household).
As PP said you will come out the other side.
I am pregnant again and will BF again if I can.

Oh yes, I got fooled into thinking if I stopped bf, my first child would somehow miraculously sleep through. Fought through the bottle refusal phase, only to get her onto formula, and she still woke up in the night. Then I had to faff with formula and it was even more hard work. Even now at 10 yo she will scare the life out of me by tapping my shoulder at 3 am to tell me she is awake.

i perfected the art of cosleeping with nipple clamped in DC2s mouth and by some sheer miracle DC3 slept through at 8 weeks even though BF.

Breastfed ds exclusively for 6 months and eventually stopped at 10 months (his choice). He didn't sleep but he didn't sleep until he was 3.

Mix fed Dd until she was 3 months. She had a severe tongue tie and it was nigh on impossible and she just hated it and wouldn't feed again after 3 months. Broke my heart a bit tbh.

Both older now and are fine.

DD1 was an amazing sleeper (12 hours solid a night from under 4 months) and DD2 was a terrible sleeper. Both fully breastfed 🙂

I'd do the same again, for the health benefits, the bonding experience and the convenience of not having to faff around with formula and bottles. For me that outweighed the downsides.

Breastfed DC1 for 2.5 years until I was heavily pregnant with DC2 and I got acute nursing aversion. Breastfed DC2 for just over 4 years until they started reception.
I breastfed both because it was cheap and such an easy, un-faffy way of comforting, nurturing, reassuring etc.

I breastfed both, first to 6 months and second to 18 months. Both were good sleepers. I was a demon with sleep training - no crying it out, just didn’t give up on my chosen technique until I had it cracked (5 days for the first, 3 weeks for the second).

I think you’re tying yourself in knots with guilt and guidance-following and whatnot. I wouldn’t presume to comment but the fact you are so miserable, so unhappy, so guilty… please know from someone well out the other side that none of this is necessary. It doesn’t matter. Any of it. As long as your baby is healthy and happy and you are enjoying him, that’s all you need to know. Feed however you want, sleep however you want, do whatever. Just unshackle yourself from all these random notions of “should” this that or the other. You’re throwing the baby out with the bath water at the moment by being so miserable on your preciously short maternity leave. Your baby won’t turn out “better” for you flagellating yourself, being miserable etc.

So your one anecdote outweighs actual scientific evidence?

Breastfed all 3 because it came easy for me.
If there were any challenges I'd have stopped or mixed fed with no hesitation.

I breastfed both of mine for a year. I loved it and wish I’d done it for longer.

Both weren’t great sleepers, but I co-slept and bf while I slept, so it was fine and I wasn’t tired.

Wow well you’re all amazing. My babies are 22 and 19 now but I breast fed them for 2 months and 6 weeks respectively and I was happy with that. Now reading this thread is feel awful it was nothing. However, they’re healthy, clever and succinct so I think the take home is, do what you can, it’s not the be all and end all.

*successful not succinct 😂

Fed my first for 18 months and second till age 2. With both of them the bedtime feed was the last to go. Eldest was harder work at naptime, he was always very resistant to going off to sleep! He also needed loads of interaction all day long and didn't like playing alone as a toddler. My youngest would fall asleep easily for naps etc and liked to watch what I was doing, then as a toddler and now that he's older he happily amuses himself. Different personalities and it was demonstrated in their sleep patterns. One more wired one more chilled. They were both big babies (98th percentile) and still v tall now, I always had enough milk just fed on demand. The night feeds were OK really we co slept so I just dozed through it mostly. I don't know how I'd have done it without co sleeping though.

Oh and they were both good sleepers.

I BF my first and then combi fed......my second I switched the fully FF after about 4 weeks (combi before that). I don’t like BF and I don’t have it in me to be the sole ‘feeder’ hence the combi and then for the second FF.

My second sleeps a lot better, we do have a 5 year gap so I can’t remember everything but I do remember the frequent night wakings with my first. However she was just a really annoying sleeper.

She only ‘slept through’ consistently when she went to school 😂. I have an inkling that FF does help them go for longer stretches and on the flip side BF means they have a stronger physical bond with mummy that they rely on for soothing which is why they wake more....BUT that is totally based on my insignificant experience of two babies. I also believe some babies are just better at staying asleep than others 🤷🏻‍♀️

BF all 3 of mine. Problems with first and was fine at 4mths (bad latch and mastitis). Fed second same way and loved it, no problems. I struggled with the nights and everything fell on me, so that was tough. Growth spurts were difficult and lack of freedom. I enjoyed that I got to sit down however and DH was very supportive and brought me food and would cut food up so I could eat with one hand, mid feed etc. I wouldn't judge anyone for wanting to FF. If you are tired and it's a struggle, switching is not absolutely terrible. I was FF but my children never accepted a dummy or a bottle. My DH used to find it funny because my mum would still try them with dummies (even though I was BFeeding) and DCs all spat out the plastic teat. I did try to FF eldest because I was knackered and peer pressure from relatives. DD wasn't having any of it only boob would do. If you want to FF I wouldn't think bad of you.

I breastfed my first until she was 8 months and she was a bad sleeper and napper. She was still a bad sleeper after 8 months. My second I bottle fed because I was ill after I had him so didn't get started with the breastfeeding and he was a good sleeper and napped well too. I don't know if the different feeding made a difference or it was down to the individual babies