If you breastfed your first child did you breastfeed your next child? And why?

[Cleanqueennot]

I’m so exhausted with my baby at the moment. He is 6 months old and overnight he wakes every 1-2 hours, only breast feeding will settle him. Don’t want advice on settling techniques as have tried loads and not a fan of any training methods/theories. He is usually quite easy to settle back to sleep but the short bits of sleep are really not enough for me as I often can’t get back to sleep after settling him. During the day I am constantly on the go because he will only nap in his pram so I go for 1 long or 2 short walks a day to get him to nap but then by about 5pm he needs another nap but I just can’t do another walk! Im exhausted and talking to others it seems like they get to put their babies down for a nap and chill out for an hour or so during the day, I don’t even get a minute to myself as he will only nap on the move. Please don’t suggest a sling, like I said I’m not really looking for sleep methods for him I’ve tried them all. Husband recently has been working late and doesn’t get home until 6 or 7pm most nights and does what he can when he’s home but by the time he’s home I’m already at my wits end and exhausted. I honestly feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I just live for the weekend when husband can take over more! I feel guilty because it’s not how I thought I would be spending my maternity leave tbh.

All the other mums I meet at baby’s classes etc say their babies at a similar age are sleeping at least 3-4 hours at night and they can put them down for naps. All these babies are formula fed. Is it just coincidence that mine is breastfed and I’m going through all of this? I don’t want to quit breastfeeding him so please don’t suggest I do. Im more interested in hearing from mums that have actually breastfed as I don’t know anyone that has IRL. Im questioning whether to change my mindset and if I have another baby wondering whether formula would be better for them in that they would be a happier, more settled baby.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. Please be kind. One sleep deprived mama here! X

I bf my first until she was 15 months. She was a terrible sleeper.

My second bf until he self weaned just before 3. He had really good naps from being a newborn and was sleeping through consistently from around 3-4 months old.

It wasn’t the bf that made any difference at all.

Didn't want to read and run.

I breastfed both of my children and am planning to with #3. It is really tough and I had a similar experience to you with my first, my second baby was much calmer in general. However, both of them were really hard work at 6 months old, it was the time I struggled the most with sleep etc. I just wanted to say that in my own experience what you're going through is completely normal. It doesn't help with how you're feeling I know, but it will pass and both of my children were different babies by 8 months old. I hope the tide turns for you soon, just do whatever you need to to survive! You're doing a brilliant job x

Yes, BF 2nd child as it was convenient and cheap, oh and she then refused the bottle, so no choice even when I was ready to mix feed …

Hourly wake ups aren’t normal especially if cosleeping. It would be worth seeing if there’s something else going on, it could be airways related, anaemia, silent reflux or something else.

(We are currently going through the same thing with our 6mo).

heysleepybaby.com/blog/sleep-red-flags

I breastfed both DDs.

DD1 slept 11pm-7am from about 2 weeks old to 3 months. Then it went downhill a bit but from 6 months was waking twice for a feed, slept through the night reliably at about 8 months.

DD2 woke every 45 mins for the first 6 months of her life. I had severe PND and was suicidal and nearly lost my mind with exhaustion. It got better with sleep training at 6 months and the much better at 7.5 month when she started nursery. She's now 8.5 months and wakes once, sometimes twice, a night. We did switch her to combi feeding at about 6.5 months just during the day, so I didn't have to express while she was at nursery. She still feeds first thing, last thing, and overnight. (DD1 was due to start nursery during the first covid lockdown so didn't need formula as the nursery was closed so I fed her, and by the time they reopened she had just turned 1 so didn't have formula or expressed milk during the day)

I FF my first from 6 weeks. Still BF my second who is 9.5 months. Sleep weirdly similar so far for the two of them. Started off sleeping really well then all went to pot at 4 months. Co slept with both and then at 9 months it was like a switch flicking. Both seemed ready to move in to cotbed ( looking to sleep on their tummy). First slept through consistently once he went in to cotbed. Second has been sleeping through so far since he moved to cotbed.

No difference between FF and BF. I'm def was nowhere near as tired this time around. Used to get up to make my first a bottle and then I would struggle to get back to sleep. This time around I just took my boob out. Very useful especially at 6am when baby will often fall back over to sleep for another hour.

@Emmamoo89 he has currently been awake for 3.5 hours, won’t sleep but is grumpy tired. I don’t want to take him out AGAIN and I don’t want to keep trying different things as all it seems to do is aggravate him and me! I’ve just kind of given up on us being happy really. I’m thinking whatever will be will be, as I can’t keep trying and trying, driving myself crazy. Just want to know if maybe it’s my fault for being so stubborn wanting to breastfeed and maybe it’s not actually best after all!

I breastfed all 4 of my children never used formula because I wanted to bf. That simple really but I didn’t find it hard like others do

Formula babies do go longer between feeds as the cows milk is slower to digest than breast milk which is 'naturally formulated' for babies' digestive systems.
I hope that, like me, you get longer nights when you start to wean.
Other things which made my babies nap well (and longer) were baby swimming sessions and baby massage ( in case either of these haven't been tried yet).
Good luck. It sounds flippant but it will pass; just keep on keeping on.

I am currently BDing DS2 but he is only 4 weeks old so can’t contribute much to the how well a bf baby sleeps discussion yet! However DS1 was FF and woke 2-3 times a night for a bottle until he was well over a year old. I don’t think he slept through the night until he was about 18 months.

I bf mine for 2.5 years. She would wake every 4 hrs from 8 weeks (prior to that she wouldn't wake at all so I had to set alarms as babies that young should feed every 3 hrs?). Started sleeping through for 12 hrs a night at 12 months though that didn't last as she developed a fear of the dark soon after. Still wakes afraid of the dark/due to nightmares at 3.5 at least once most nights.

Going to bf my next so we'll see how it goes! I think it's down to personality rather than feeding method.

My first bf til 3yrs, refused a bottle. Slept through from 6ish weeks and in the day had a mammoth 3 hour nap from 11am (sometimes longer). She has always been a fabulous sleeper- can be transferred asleep from car to bed (even now at 7 ).

My second is 2yrs, and currently having her bedtime breastfeed. She woke twice or three times til a year old, we sleep trained her as it was too much for me and I was struggling with lack of sleep and working/ health issues. She is rubbish at naps- 3-5 30 min naps when small, and now about 45 mins in a good day- usually contact naps or in the buggy if she’s shattered. Often no nap at all. You can’t move her asleep (so annoying). She’s still feeding at least twice per day- more if she can!

Among my nieces/ nephews/ friend’s children there’s a huge mix re sleeping and no real correlation between the type of feed. We’ve had a unicorn baby and a reasonable sleeper. I have one sister in law who’s had 3 terrible sleepers- changing from bf didn’t help with no 1. Number 2 had bad reflux and never slept, and number 3 ff and no better really (even now aged 5).

I think it’s luck more than anything you do.

Do what you want to do not what anyone else does. I breastfed (I expressed milk at work even for the first 3) and I found it much easier than bottle feeding as no bottles to make up and all that hassle.

I liked breastfeeding although just like most women who breast of bottle feed I did not like having babies waking in the night so much. I even breastfed the twins and by then was working from home so they were just brought to me to feed which was easier than expressing.

I found going back to work was nice - a rest really. People say how could you go back to work so soon - I wanted it all and had it all - breastfeeding and then a full time job - it is much much easier, not harder than being home.

I breastfed both of mine for 12 months. They kind of self weaned…,would have been happy to breastfeed for longer. They woke an average of 3 times a night while breast fed. It was hard but also rewarding.

If you switch to formula, there is every chance your baby will wake just as much. Your baby sounds exactly like my ds was at that age. He wouldn't sleep in a cot. I'd be out walking come rain or shine (we lived in London so no car option at the time). For what it's worth, I tried formula and it made no difference! He just woke a lot until he was about 2yrs (there were phases of good sleep before this, don't be put off). The only thing that really worked for us was co-sleeping. Your baby will settle at some point. They won't be waking like this forever. It might change when they can start crawling/walking and using up a bit more energy. There is no need to switch for formula.

I also EBF my dd, she only woke once at same age. She liked her cot. I did nothing different. Just a different child.

@Natalie2821 there was a time when he would do 3-4 hour stretches when he was 8 weeks old, but that all went out the window at when he turned 3 months and he’s never been a good napper. So I’ve had this for the last 3 months and I’m at breaking point. As soon as husband came home I told him I’m leaving the house and I’ve gone for a drive and sat in a side street and cried. I do hope this gets better soon!

Yes, I offer both breasts and baby sometimes doesn’t need two breasts so I’d say he’s pretty well fed. Just hates to nap indoors for whatever reason.

I always thought this. However my first was EBF for 2 years and mostly slept through as a baby after 4 months!

My second is combi fed and has a bottle of formula bedtime and still wakes 1-3 times a night for a breastfeed at 8 months.

So I definitely don't think it makes a difference!

Sympathies-your child sounds like mine, right down to the needing to be walked to sleep (only got a good while mine wouldn’t tolerate a pram so had to sling walk her to sleep). Due my second child and I’m planning on combination feeding so if this one is as horrific a sleeper I can share the load more with my partner.

My first DC was breastfed, and was a truly amazing sleeper. She didn't wake ever between 9pm and 5am from just a few weeks. My subsequent twins were formula fed and were horrible sleepers by comparison. The formula feeding equals more sleep theory definitely never applied to my life!

I breastfed both of mine - first was an average sleeper, wasn't awful, wasn't amazing. Second was a dream and slept through early and stayed a great sleeper.

With my second I learnt the most important thing I think I could learn with babies...
You can breast feed without feeding to sleep.

I breast fed but then would always use other comforts once drowsy to help her to sleep from 3 weeks old once I knew she was gaining weight well.

Huge hugs I felt like you with my first and I wish I'd known the above sooner as it was tough on both of us.

I'm on my first but didn't want to read and run. My baby sounds so similar to yours, even down to only napping in the pram. 6mo was probably the worst age for his sleep. I was on my knees. Then at 9mo he turned a corner without me really changing anything (only thing I did was a bit of trial and error on nap timings). He'll still only nap in the pram in the day, but nighttimes he's only waking up twice from 7pm to 7am which is a huge difference. Hang in there.

I was told by a baby ward nursery nurse (who has settled literally thousands of babies) that breastfed babies sleep worse but they’re not allowed to tell mums that for obvious reasons.

It's hardly surprising that a breastfed, poorly baby seperated from their mother in hospital isn't sleeping well. That's not exactly a fair test 🤔

Oh and I tried the much-touted bottle of formula before bedtime... No difference!

@Whatames thanks for your really balanced response. I find combi feeding a bit confusing tbh. I did trial a bottle of formula before bed for a few weeks but I had to express in order to keep my supply up. I truly hated that.

My understanding is that when you combi feed you have to express for any bottle feeds or you may start having supply issues. My baby is following his chart on the 25th percentile so he’s not the chunkiest baby and never has been but don’t want to do anything that could mean he loses weight. I was miserable when I had to express milk. It’s not really like someone else gets to ‘share the load’ if I have to sit there and milk myself like a cow every time my baby has a bottle 😞 I guess this is why I have kind of adopted the all or nothing approach to breastfeed as any in between seems like more headache. Or maybe I haven’t looked into enough?

I have an 11m old DC that is formula fed and a horrendous sleeper... We make bottles up in batches in advance which has worked fine for us but formula has by no means given us quiet nights.