Please help me cope tonight I can’t do this anymore

[Arghhh111]

I am at my wits end. three month old baby’s dad left when she was 2 weeks old, heard absolutely nothing and so I am completely alone. She was fine for the first three months up until last week when she just will NOT sleep more than two hours and even that seems to be getting shorter. She’s slept for max 45 mins today in three short bursts.

I am dreading tonight. I can’t cope. I am resentful with my ex which isn’t helping and I don’t understand where this sudden inability to sleep has come from.

I’ve used infacol as thought it could be colic due to the crying, week later no change.

ive fed on demand as I usually do, with extra offering right before I go to bed at 11:30.

ive made sure the room is warm enough.

ive kept it dark.

she’s not got a temperature and doesn’t need nappy changing.

I don’t know what to do anymore. There’s nobody else to help either. Right now she’s just mildly crying in the cot next to the bed, when I pick her up she will have a tiny bit of milk but not really be interested in it. So she’s not really hungry.

i can’t do this anymore

I would also add if she falls asleep in your arms (jiggling a little can help), sleep cycles at that age are shorter so she may wake up after 40ins. This will get bette when they learn to link sleep cycles in next month or two.

If she walls asleep in your arms, outting her down wait until her arms are super floppy like you can lift them up and they drop down completely, then place hwr v slowly in cot gently touching bum down first then head last. I sometimes have to leave hand under his head for the next minute so he driftd off again then gently remove (easier said than done)

Last thing, in the black of night if you're feeling knackered, bleary eyed and alone, don't forget all of us other mums are with you in the same boat. Sending you a virtual wave and exhausted hallooo for then xx

^^Oops sorry for all the typos, evidence of my sleep deprivation and an unsettled baby rn too!

Sounds like bad colic- keep her propped up, heartburn causes them a lot of pain- baby gaviscon- changed my babies milk millions of times infacol etc nothing worked - weaned her into solids at 4 month- projectile vomiting was horrendous
defo baby gaviscon and plenty of winding

Wish I could come and keep an eye on baby for you so you can get a full nights sleep. There ought to be a charity for single mum to do this!

Just try not to worry, rest when you can even if it is only 2 hours at a time. This is a very tricky time but one day you will sleep again and this will be a distant memory, promise.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this; I know how hard it is as my daughter was the same. It turned out she had silent reflux. She was only happy when upright. Try raising the head of your crib/ Moses basket a little by putting something beneath the feet and keep her upright for 30 mins after feeding. I also found that she was getting overtired and could only be up for a very short amount of time (c. 1 -1.5 hrs max) before needing to go back to sleep.

You have got this OP; you’re doing amazing - single Mum’s are incredible 💐

You poor thing OP. It sounds very much like colic / heartburn. Infant gaviscon, prop head of cot / Moses basket etc up with books. I actually (accidentally) left my daughter in a baby bouncer all night (not intentionally - we were just so exhausted, it was the only thing that would keep her upright and calm) then we fell asleep. We all slept well that night and she came to no harm.

Do you have family that you can call? You're doing an amazing job. Hang in there - this will pass.

If she’s sucking her hands she’s hungry. Try another bottle, burp properly, then lay her down close to you on the bed for a while. If she falls asleep within 29 mins, place her in the cot.

Twenty mins sorry

Oh have we all been there and it is shit and when people say it will pass, I just wanted to scream!

endless pushing the pram in the living room and lots of midnight neighbourhood walks.

I didn’t breastfeed nor wear a sling and went to work very early on so imagine my surprise during one of these crazy nights that I discovered that cosleeping worked like magic.

as PP said it definitely stored up some trouble for later on and even now but it got us through! We got a double bed for DD’s room so we could go as needed and get a good sleep ourselves.

she is still a restless sleeper on her own but with one of us or camping or in a hotel she sleeps like a dream.

you’ve got this!!!

a babysitter for a few hours in the house so you can catch up would be a great plan to get some sleep. Maybe they could do some washing.

im sure any friends or family would be happy to pop over.

Oh bless you, I remember this feeling. Sending hugs.
It could be a leap, it will pass I promise!
Try 'wonky winding' and a 'myhummy'.
Take care xx

Sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't do other jobs or read your phone. Sleep when they sleep. Good luck. It is awful but you will get through it. You are already doing so well coping on your own. I take my hat off to you.

At that age what helped dd sleep was a swaddle, white noise and a dummy, white noise was a life saver !!! Some nights i kept it on all night, not so loud though. you're going great, nothing prepares you for those first few months

Was more of a suggestion for day sleeps and to help regulate the baby. Not for night time sleep, you're right

Feel your pain op, it's so tough.

I'd try a dummy and some formula

And just sleep when the baby sleeps, a cliché but it works

That's definitely teething. Sucking hands, red cheeks, crying and drooling.

A bit of calpol should settle her. Teething gels also worked wonders or frozen teething rings. I used to freeze a large carrot for her to gnaw on (supervised only tho)

Good luck!!

I switched my baby from normal aptimal to aptimal comfort and that made a difference to the wind.. and sleep.. and can anyone take the baby for a walk in the buggy while you get a catch up hour to sleep in the day?

So… Slept 11-2 and then 2:45 to 6:30 and 8-9.

I used Calpol at half ten last night, could that really be it?!

Thanks SO much for the responses, feel less tired today

Amazing!!!!❤️

So glad to hear you had a better night! Hopefully it was the calpol and it will work again tonight!

It could be that she's been teething which has been unsettling her. If the calpol worked then she's clearing been in discomfort. X

Oh what a relief! Hopefully you can do the same tonight.

Is it ok to use calpol every night?

the only teething sign is the fist in mouth and dribble but they’re just 3 months?!

Yes it could be teething. Chewing, dribbling and crying certaintainly ticks all the boxes.
My baby started at 4 months and had almost all baby teeth by 1 year! Breastfeeding was ouch!!!

I'm sure calpol won't do any harm. She's clearly been crying for some reason and you've done the right thing for her. You're a good mum and look how you both had a good night. Came here to see you were ok. We've all felt how you have so wanted to give warm hugs and support. It's can feel helpless at times but you do find your feet in the end xxx

I’m not sure, teething will come and go my little girl started with the teething signs at 8 weeks but didn’t actually get a tooth til 6 months old and it came in waves. Just use it when she is upset and you have tried everything else

my little boy has just turned 3 months and I think he is starting too, very dribbly and can be upset and not hungry or tired so thinking teeth x

my little one gets really upset when over tired so that’s something to think about too maybe.