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Parenting

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Original poster

Which did you find easier: no kids to 1 or 1 to 2?

84 replies

littlepurplerose · 21/01/2023 21:14

Just wondering what you found more challenging & why?

Going from no kids to 1 or going from 1 kid to 2?

(I have 1 and hoping to conceive the next later this year)

OP posts:

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toddyhum · 21/01/2023 21:17

Zero to one was just incredibly overwhelming and wondered what the hell I'd done. Thought I'd ruined my life for a long time.

One to two was utter bliss. Loved being able to enjoy all the things I struggled with the first time round.

Two is wonderful

Moonshine160 · 21/01/2023 21:19

I found no kids to 1 easier.

DS1 is 3 years old and DS2 is 4 months old and won’t nap in the crib so contact naps but DS1 constantly wakes him up and I find it all really overwhelming.

WoeBeCome · 21/01/2023 21:20

No kids to 1 was hardest. By far.

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Titsywoo · 21/01/2023 21:20

0-1 was easy for me but I coslept and BFed for a long time so never had sleep deprivation which seems to be the hardest part
1-2 was much harder (more stressful and so much guilt!) but was more than worth it after the first year

Tiddlywinkly · 21/01/2023 21:21

0 to 1 was the life changer

McPlant1 · 21/01/2023 21:22

0-1 was much, much harder. I think a lot of it depends on the temperament and personality of your DC though. I got my very hard, none sleeping baby out the way first. Some friends had the opposite experience.

Alitlebitsleepy · 21/01/2023 21:22

DC1 is 2.5 and DC2 is only 2 weeks old so I have limited experience.

So far, I have found going from 0 to 1 harder. This time round, I am far more relaxed. The first time round it was a massive mental adjustment.

I realise it’s early days for me being a mother of 2 so everything can change!!

DietCock · 21/01/2023 21:23

0-1 was hard and a culture shock. 1-2 was brilliant.

CatNamedBob · 21/01/2023 21:24

1-2 was much easier. Felt like I had a better idea what I was doing the second time around

OfMark87 · 21/01/2023 21:24

0-1 was a complete shock to the system

1-2 wasn't too bad and I'm so much more relaxed and enjoying him more

astronewt · 21/01/2023 21:25

0-1 was much harder. The shock, the change, the adjustment in our relationship, and #1 was a very high maintenance baby.

Having two did complicate things, obviously, but #2 was a more chill baby and we were about 100 times more chill and had some perspective, plus you've already given up all the fun parts of your life by then. 😎😍

WoolyMammoth55 · 21/01/2023 21:26

I agree with majority - 0-1 was the life-changer, PTSD, shell-shock, WTF have I done? not so much an adjustment as a nuclear fallout!

1-2 in comparison was a breeze - but a lot depends on the age gap I think.

DS1 was 3.5 when DS2 arrived so verbal and excited and communicated his confusion/angst for us to talk it out. My sister has a much smaller age gap and her eldest was a terror while adjusting to not being the centre of the universe, which added a lot of stress for her...

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 21/01/2023 21:27

0-1 was hardest for DP, who struggled with the idea there are no weekends off, no down time.

1-2 and 2-3 was harder for me because I couldn't devote myself to the rhythms of one child, I had to juggle the needs of several around my own.

CoodleMoodle · 21/01/2023 21:33

0-1 was harder at the start, particularly as DD was a difficult baby (she had CMPA and didn't sleep, weaning was awful, etc). But she was an absolute dream toddler and still is a dream at nearly 9.

1-2 was fairly easy at first (except for usual newborn tiredness) as DS was an easy baby and DD started school when he was a few weeks old. Then DS reached toddlerhood and all hell broke loose! It's starting to calm down now he's 4.5 but I'd say dealing with him age 18mo to 4yrs, and having DD as well, was more difficult than anything else. Lockdown didn't help!

boygirlmom · 21/01/2023 21:36

1-2 was and still is so hard! They are 7 and 4!!! DD was easy to look after and DS has always had some issues but such a fun boy. Love them but oh man it's hard!

donutosaurus · 21/01/2023 21:36

0-1 was far easier than 1-2, things changed with the first but it was all quite nice and manageable. I found 1-2 really difficult and still do at times (2 years in!).

When I have my 4 y/o on her own it's so much easier. This may be due to my youngest's age (2) but it's full on all of the time with 2 and logistics is so much trickier imo.

ShoesEverywhere · 21/01/2023 21:40

0-1 easy, 1-2 hell on earth, 2-3 easiest.

I think 0-1 we went from a couple to "couple with an accessory" so leaving the house was easier. With two we had to carry so much stuff. So much stuff...

Flanjango · 21/01/2023 21:40

Going from none to one was a step learning curve. Going from 1 to three was an eye opener but used things learnt with first to be organised enough so it was still easier than the first.

buckeejit · 21/01/2023 21:41

1 to 2. I was shell shocked at 1. 2 was a dream

AnnaTortoiseshell · 21/01/2023 21:44

0-1 was so, so hard. 1-2 (DD1 was just two when DD2 was born) has been mostly pretty lovely.

Lochjeda · 21/01/2023 21:45

None to one and one to two was absolutely fine for me to be honest. Two to three was super hard work. Good luck with your ttc journey.

noimaginationforausername · 21/01/2023 21:48

Zero to one was a massive shock and I really struggled, 1-2 was a lot easier and I knew what to expect with the sleep deprivation etc.

LizzieBrooks · 21/01/2023 21:49

They were both hard but in different ways. It’s a massive life adjustment having your first and a big change to the dynamic of your relationship with your partner.
Going from 1 to two is hard as it feels like far more than double the work. Can be so difficult juggling two, especially at bedtime and if you don’t have family support, like I didn’t.
Both are also wonderful.

CatOnTheChair · 21/01/2023 21:52

0-1 turns your life upside down if you produce a baby who hates being a baby.
1-2 was a dream, because 1 was a really pleasant toddler, and 2 slept better than his older brother - and DH had to deal with the none sleeping toddler while I got the baby who only woke twice a night.

Beginningless · 21/01/2023 21:56

0-1 was traumatic for similar reasons to pps talking about nuclear bomb going off. 1-2 much smoother, I think the learning was less about being a parent and more about organisation.

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