Which did you find easier: no kids to 1 or 1 to 2?

[littlepurplerose]

Just wondering what you found more challenging & why?

Going from no kids to 1 or going from 1 kid to 2?

(I have 1 and hoping to conceive the next later this year)

0-1 was tricky, 1-2 was tricky but not quite as hard, 2-3 was lovely! However both 1 and 2 were not particularly easy babies (in completely different ways!) and 3 was far easier so I think it is more to do with how easy they are as babies.

I loved zero to 1, mostly sailed through the newborn and baby phases.

No experience of 1 to 2 but 1 to 3 was utter insanity I think the age gap is a factor too. My eldest was only two when our twins were born so we really had some tough years at the beginning.

I think the type of baby you get is probably a factor. Some babies have no health issues, are generally settled, and sleep well. But if you have a poorly and/or unsettled baby that doesn't sleep well, it's really hard. All things being equal I think 0-1 is definitely harder than 1-2. But if baby number 1 is easy and baby number 2 is hard, it might be the other way around.

For us, DC1 was harder and a bigger shock to the system, change in lifestyle, loss of freedom etc. DC2 was hard because we had DC1 to look after as well, but mentally easier because we knew more what to expect, the problems to look out for (identified and resolved them more quickly), knew it would pass eventually, and were generally more confident and less anxious/stressed, so could enjoy it more - plus our lives didn't change so radically as they were already ruined.

Both hard in different ways! 0-1 hit me alot mentally- loved becoming a mum (lifelong dream come true!) but the responsibility and intensity of it all was quite overwhelming. I had post natal anxiety and was such a paranoid first time parent, fussed and worried over every little thing to do with DD1 and DH was the same.

DD2 we have been much more relaxed in that regard, however the dynamics of juggling 2 has been tricky at times.DD1 had had us to ourselves for 4.5 years and as much as she adored her baby sis, she upped the anti for months after and her behaviour was very challenging at times.I felt that i struggled to give much attention to baby for alot of the first year due to the emotional and practical demands of DD1 and the increased housework, 'life admin' etc having two brought.

Things are easier now though (they are 15mths and nearly 6) 😌

I found 0-1 incredibly hard. Number 2 was born in one of the lock downs and I found so much easier. I think a lot had to do with no visitors and no self inflicted pressures to be up and about. I was able to lounge around and bind with baby without also feeling guilt of not taking number 1 all over the place to entertain them! A covid baby was difficult for other reasons but definitely easier.

0-1 was much harder but it probably depends on the child's temperament too. I was recovering from a difficult birth with a baby who wouldn't sleep unless she was being held and bounced/rocked, she had terrible reflux and lactose intolerance, hated the pram and wanted to be carried everywhere, I couldn't put her down without her screaming for the first six months.

1-2 is easier because our 2nd child will sit in her bouncy chair or on a playmat and watch me while I get on with housework or have a cup of tea, she sleeps in her crib and just seems a much more easy-going baby. It's hard caring for them both at the same time when the baby wants fed and the toddler wants entertained, and I feel guilty about not being able to give either enough 1 on 1 time but still nowhere near as challenging as 0-1.

1-2 was easier than 0-1

Zero to one by a mile. By the time DC2 came along two years later we'd embraced the contribution of nursery and were happy to outsource the hardest bits.

I find 1 to 2 way easier but that could be because DC1 was premature and poorly with complex needs while DC2 was term, robust and very easy. I also felt a lot more confident since I'd done it all before and knew what was normal.

That said, there were tricky things about 1 to 2, namely trying to look after a newborn with a 20 month whirlwind in the room a d feeling guilty for not playing with said whirlwind as much, etc. Thank god I had DH or I think I'd have found it very difficult.

0-1 was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.

I found 1-2 a breeze.

1- 2 was so much trickier!
And everyone kept saying "it's easier now- you'll know what to do"!! I didn't and it wasn't.
0- 1 I had all the time in the world to attend to their every need. Loads easier.

1 to 2 was fine, adding a third though... 😱

None to 1 was by far the easiest. Although a complete lifestyle change, we had the time to navigate it properly.

1 to 2 has been a stressful struggle so far. 3 year old has had a huge behaviour regression and life is definitely more difficult. Although less worry and anxiety about the baby in terms of care/feeding.

I once read somewhere that having one child was like owning a pet, and having 2 was like running a zoo.

And in my case, this was most definitely accurate!!

No idea as I went from 0-2 🤣

0 to 1 harder for me, by far.

1 to 2 lovely

I don't think any is easier both have their difficulties. Both extremely hard, for me anyway.

0-1 much easier for me but my 2 were close together

0-1 was easier. But like a pp it was co sleeping and extended breastfeeding that made it so. Hadn’t planned either but DD was quite a couple of weeks early and the cluster feeding was just easier in the bed. Plus she’d just scream if we put her down anywhere else. But we all got some sleep this way and were always out and about a lot and were quite social - friends came to us usually as we were the 1st to have DC in our friendship group, but with family we tended to travel to them.

1-2 was much harder, just due to logistics really. Even things like getting a rest in late pregnancy. I remember on a visit my midwife said in the 1st year with two ‘it’s a very short day’ and she was so right. He slept through very early and we had a lot of fun that year, but it was full on, just the day to day basics did seem to fill the day

Defo 0-1. Massive shock, I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know 'how' to love a child and be a parent.
1-2 a breeze in comparison- just more logistics but none of the existential drama and worry about my own emotions

None to one was a massive wake up call ! The rest just tagged along.

Zero to one was horrible. One to two was a joy but DD2 was a very easy baby and DD1 was a delightful toddler. Two to three was harder because DS was premature and DD1 had just started school so I that to contend with as well. Now they are teenagers life is fantastic.

I was a young mum, had my first at 17 it was overwhelming but my situation regarding the father wasn't great either (he was done for battery against me in court) anyway obviously I struggled, but she is such an amazing girl but it was tough, my second child is absolutely feral I had her at 19 so 2 year age gap between them was very tough having 2 kids before I was 20 🤣 but I love her regardless... She kept me on my toes constantly haha!

10 years later (when I was 28) I had my 3rd and it's absolutely bliss, I'm able to enjoy all the milestones and actually know what I'm doing!

I think it all depends on what age you're at, your current situation and what kind of life you have already on whether you're able to enjoy it all, there are always days you think Jesus Christ alive what have I done but the good always outweighs the bad.. and no matter what you always manage to get by and do right by your child/children... But it all depends on certain situations I believe as to whether one or more children will be hard work or not if that makes sense :)

Depends whether you actually mean "harder" or "bigger change"

0 - 1 obviously an enormous life change. But objectively not all that difficult. I could sometimes nap when she did, or at least loaf on the sofa with some TV. So although my life was shaken up massively I wasn't totally exhausted and did still get a little bit of time to myself sometimes. As she got bigger, a had a fairly regular routine of DH taking her to the local playground for an hour on warm evening and he took her out for 90 mins every Sunday morning once she was 18months.

1-3 (we had twins) was objectively MUCH harder. Dd was supposed to be reading to us each evening and wanted 1:1 attention, which meant nap time was entirely given over to her. One of us would have the boys while the other had DD so getting any time alone was almost impossible. So much MUCH more tiring. Work is also harder - with 3, illness can be very challenging as they can get it one after another and someone is ill for over a week! hard to cover childcare. Activities also become a juggling act - who does pick-up and drop-off becomes complicated.If.you need to be in two places at once.
BUT I wouldn't be going out much in the evenings anyway, so its less of a change

Really depends what you find hard I think.

Both hard in different ways....

0-1 the shock of becoming a parent, the pressure of the responsibility
I was very anxious about hazards/illnesses etc to the point I needed therapy for it (probably not helped by the MMC I had before) also DD1 has always been very high needs.

1-2 Felt much more relaxed in terms of parenting ability and knowledge, but juggling two has been HARD, and DD1 has had quite abit of resentment about not having me all to herself anymore (4.5 years so was used to that for a long time)