Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Which did you find easier: no kids to 1 or 1 to 2?

84 replies

littlepurplerose · 21/01/2023 21:14

Just wondering what you found more challenging & why?

Going from no kids to 1 or going from 1 kid to 2?

(I have 1 and hoping to conceive the next later this year)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CountrysideHideaway · 21/01/2023 22:01

No kids to 1 was a big change and everything was new so felt hard at times. 1 to 2 didn’t feel hard at all as our life was already child focused and we knew how to look after a baby and were more relaxed.

Dacadactyl · 21/01/2023 22:02

No kids to one was much much easier for me.

Knew what I was letting myself I for the 2nd time round. And we had less family support with number 2 because if circumstances.

louise5754 · 21/01/2023 22:03

Erm 2 kids is bloody mental especially if they don't get on!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

SallyWD · 21/01/2023 22:05

0 kids to 1 was very hard and a COMPLETE change to my lifestyle. 1 child to 2 was very very easy in comparison.

Larrythellama · 21/01/2023 22:06

No kids to one was easier, we have a nearly four year age gap! Competing for your attention, no down time and if I’ve honest it took its toll on our relationship more. However! Don’t let that put you off as it gets better and I adore our two girls, they are 1 and 5 now. When they interact it’s the best, and the marriage is better now the youngest is sleeping 😂. I do feel a bit envious of mum friends with just one though at the moment as logistically it’s so much easier

Mwnci123 · 21/01/2023 22:07

1- 2 harder. Two year gap. I was just so tired.

Reindear · 21/01/2023 22:08

0-1 by far. Could not believe how hard it felt and how much my life changed.

1-2 was a doddle. I knew what to expect which made it so much easier. They’re 7 and 10 now, argue like crazy but get on wel sometimes!

SamanthaVimes · 21/01/2023 22:09

I think they were equally hard but in different ways.
0-1 it’s like a bomb going off in your life but there’s two of you to deal with it so it’s easier to do shifts
1-2 you’re more relaxed about the baby but you have the older child’s emotions to manage.

For me my second birth was much harder to recover from but it felt like I had less help (even though DH did loads) because he was entertaining our toddler, not looking after me and being at my beck and call in the way he could be with our first.

1-2 has definitely tested our relationship more too as everyone is more tired / short on time and patience

dammiejodger · 21/01/2023 22:09

0-1 absolutely fine.

1-2 hard work, gruelling at times and emotionally draining.

Wouldn't change it though. Four years between my two.

They are just starting to squabble now, youngest doesn't stand for any shit off of her older brother.

dammiejodger · 21/01/2023 22:10

I did find I was less stressed with no2 though and just got on with it.

StopFeckingFaffing · 21/01/2023 22:11

0 to 1 way harder in my experience

1 to 2 was a breeze in comparison

Toomanywaterwipes · 21/01/2023 22:12

I found 0 - 1 far easier!
1 - 2 was much harder for me. Felt so guilty having to juggle all the time and felt I was neglecting both of them.
They're great friends now though.

BlueSuffragette · 21/01/2023 22:15

0-1 brand new experience, life changing. 1-2 more experienced, not as life changing.

JanuaryBirthdays · 21/01/2023 22:15

0-1 was horrible. Really horrible.

1-2 was much better as I knew what to expect. Even though there was only 17 months between them it was still better than 0-1.

2-3 has been interesting as other two are now 7&8. Definitely enjoying the baby stage this time and not wishing it away as I know it goes so quick.

MuggleMe · 21/01/2023 22:17

In the early days 0-1 was harder, but managing the different needs of 2 different children is really very hard.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 21/01/2023 22:19

0-1 by far. Could not believe how hard it felt and how much my life changed.

yup. I went from 1 to 3. Still easier than 0-1.

oneuponedown · 21/01/2023 22:21

1-2 was harder in my experience.

0-1 I found baby slotted in fairly easy to our life. We were quite settled before though, no late nights out partying etc so it wasn't a huge lifestyle change and baby just came along with what we are doing.

Similar for dc2 but just more to think about, more to take with you- double pram etc and just having a toddler and a baby was much harder I found, plus the mum guilt.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 21/01/2023 22:23

1 to 2 for us, 100%, in every respect (pregnancy, birth, caring for newborn, finances etc etc). We have a 2 yr gap between DC.

TheRookie · 21/01/2023 22:24

I was lucky with my first as she was a wonderful baby. Of course there were hard times but she wasnt a huge cryer, she fed well and she was very content. Can't tell you how much I just adored it.

My 2nd wasn't a big cryer as such, but he just wanted to be attached to me at all time and with that obviously came a lot of guilt with my eldest, and a lot of vying for attention. I found that really hard. And now they're 4 and 1 and needed very different things, it can be very overwhelming.

Definitely found 1-2 harder.

MidasWhale · 21/01/2023 22:25

Absolutely 1 to 2 without a doubt. 0-1 was hard, you don't know what to expect and the sleepless nights feel brutal.

I had ds when dd was just 2 and it was lovely

2-3 however was a whole other kettle of fish, and then 3-4 utterly bonkers 😅

GruzViews · 21/01/2023 22:30

Going from 1 - 2 was harder than 0 - 1 for me. Only 20 months between them though so dealing with a baby and a toddler who are both very dependent can be all consuming.

Larrythellama · 21/01/2023 22:30

@SamanthaVimes totally agree you’ve articulated why 1-2 was harder - managing older child’s emotions and managing your relationship as less downtime.

Cheeseandabsolutelycrackers · 21/01/2023 22:30

0-1 was the life changer

1-2 left us wondering why we didn't make the most of the time we had when we only had one

SnowAndFrostOutside · 21/01/2023 22:43

1 to 2 definitely. 0 to 1 was a shock to the system. By the time DC2 came, I knew what to do with a baby. It was very easy. I managed breastfeeding, weaning, sleep, toilet training all so much better.

SnowAndFrostOutside · 21/01/2023 22:46

It could be that I found 1-2 easier than others because they have a 3 years gap. We had preschool funding and DC1 was in full time nursery 3 days a week when I had my second maternity.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread