Parents rudeness

[happymom92]

Dear daughter is 4.5, reception class. She went to a trampoline park with my sister on saturday because I was working that day and by pure coincidence she met some of her class friends there.
One of them was having a birthday party(basically a booked table or 2 with a few adults and kids in a open space area). So ofc my DD was playing with her classmates and going to their table. The birthday girl mum ignored my daughter and literally turn her back on my daughter and offered all the other kids a slice of pizza. My sister noticed that and tried to remove her from there.
After a while ofc they had cake with Elsa(my daughter’s favourite character) and she was crying and being so upset why she can’t join them celebrate her friend’s birthday and have some cake too.
I do know she had no obligation whatsoever to include my daughter, but I just find it so rude and cruel to act like this with a 4 year old, especially being from the same class. I could never do it. I am thinking to privately message her or put a message on the parents group class(not giving names ofc) that we should all be nicer people(clearly she isn’t), maybe to learn something for the future. Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go and not stir things up and make it awkward when we meet eachother at school pick ups

PS in case she didn’t recognise my daughter, one of the other mums invited with her daughter at the party definitely knows my daughter and she didn’t say anything either (not her place to say it, but just for the record )

It doesn’t matter what she wanted. In this case, it’s the job of you/your sister to gently steer her away, distract her, to help teach her how to behave in such circumstances. Yes, she may well be disappointed - but that’s OK.

Because her friends we’re having it. If it was a total stranger having a birthday party with Elsa cake she would not have cared

Yes but the child REALLY wanted to and Elsa is her favourite.
Seriously OP, it happened and most people think it sent a big deal. Kids generally take their cue from parents so the less you make of this the better

I know, it was a good lesson for her to learn even if it’s upsetting

I am just letting some steam off here, that’s why I wrote what happened here

If you do have kids, are you’re watching every minute 100% what they’re doing in an open space area (trampoline park)?

Absolutely you're watching every minute of what your 4 year old does in a trampoline park!!!

Op, please don’t message the mum and you need to let it go. You are coming across pissed off that your daughter wasn’t invited to birthday girl’s celebration.

For goodness sake OP, I imagine the mum was turning to serve pizza, drinks and supervise the guests. Have you never hosted one of these events? They are quite busy.

Honestly, the more you write the more bonkers you sound. You are currently harboring an insane grudge. You really need to let this go and move on.

Trust me, it’s not about the fact that she didn’t got an invitation. Anyway, I will let it go, there are more important things in this world to worry about

Maybe this is a bit off topic - but why on earth was there a 'private' party going on in a public place? Is this normal nowadays?
I get that places like soft play and trampoline sheds offer parties, but shouldn't there be a separate room for the meal? Or at least a kind of indoor marquee or tent type-thing to make it private?

Setting up a party meal table in a place where any random kid can just walk up is a really bad idea. Very poor service on the part of the venue. I would not have been happy to book the party knowing this was the eating arrangement.

I just think some posters here expect 4 year olds to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

I also think it's just cake. And tbh, if the OP had paid the entry I would have just said come and sit with us. And I always make extra sweet cones and party bags for siblings etc.

I also appreciate that not everyone does this for a variety of reasons. And I wouldn't want my child to sit with the party table out of sheer awkwardness. A simple hello would suffice

Seems a bit unusual to only invite some of the children to a party when it is often the norm to invite the whole class to a party during reception.

YABU OP. Your sister should have moved her away. Maybe used some bribery (new toy etc) to cushion the blow.

yes... of course we would (we actually go in with our kids) trampolines are notorious dangerous, thats why parental/adult supervision is MANDATORY condition of allowing you to entering with children.

Who the fuck else do you think is suppose to be watching your kid?

Its now hillarious your on about the 'bad woman ignoring your daughter' when you claim you ignore her so much you wouldn't have even noticed her buggering off to beg for food off a stranger.

@happymom92 I have 4 kids, at times I've had to take all of them with me to parties where only 1 is invited. Even then, my kids are told that once the party food comes out, we leave the INVITED guests alone to eat. Occasionally the party parent has then invited my other kids to join them, then and ONLY then will my other kids have asked for or expected a piece of cake. Your daughter was not invited to join the group, your sister should have explained that better to your daughter, it's a chat you can have now then she'll be better prepared in the future for disappointment

I was not even there if you read my post again. And my sister did join her in the jumping area so it’s not like she was unattended. This subject is getting off track now and all the hate that you’re expressing it’s just showing what kind of person you are. I just hope your young kids(if you have any) don’t need to go to that kid of heartbreak at such a young age.

FFS op, heartbreak? Really?

This has all got a bit overly dramatic, hasn’t it?

put a message on the parents group class(not giving names ofc) that we should all be nicer people(clearly she isn’t), maybe to learn something for the future. Am I overreacting?

Yes. Your DD was not invited. It's tough, and maybe the other girl and her mother were a bit mean not to invite your DD in the first place, but whatever - your DD was not invited.

And your idea about that passive-aggressive message is childish.

Just rise above it. It's one party & your DD is 4. There'll be hundreds of other parties.

How old is your sister op? Does she have kids?

Your posts are REALLY saying the kind of person YOU are and its really not good.

Someone expecting you to watch your kids (utterly bizzare that you brought up not watching them, it doesnt make us 'perfect' to follow the rules of the venue and common sense) and not let them crash a party they werent invited too is not rude... it the very most basic parenting and manners which you seemed to lack.

YOU may not have been there but you ATTITUDE says it all, the fact you even started this threat shows how shameless you are.

They can't be 'rude' for simply minding their own business when your child was already the one breaking all ettiquette.

As for 'hate' lol I didnt come here to attack another classmates parent and threaten to slag her to other parents... maybe look at your own anger issues before point the finger at people explaining why your wrong.

There is heated debate and there is nasty. lay off a bit man.

Please don't send any messages on WhatsApp!
I'd have offered your DD a bit of pizza and cake though. I do think it was a bit mean not to. She's only 4 and won't understand the etiquette around social engagements yet.

If you do have kids, are you’re watching every minute 100% what they’re doing in an open space area (trampoline park)?

Of course you do. The child is 4. It isn't "perfect parenting" , it is just being a responsible adult. I wouldn't trust anyone who didn't do that to take my child out somewhere. I think that is pretty normal.

I just hope your young kids(if you have any) don’t need to go to that kid of heartbreak at such a young age.

"Heartbreak" ?? Don't be ridiculous.

A 4 yr old had a tantrum because she didn't get what she wanted. It happens. Yes, many children have finished having tantrums by that age but some clearly haven't. It is somewhat over dramatic to label this as heartbreak though. Not sure what term you are going to use if anything bad actually happened.

At least you have agreed you aren't going to make a fool of yourself in the class WhatsApp group.

26, no kids

As pp say. I would have been pretty annoyed at a random child trying to join in