Parents rudeness

[happymom92]

Dear daughter is 4.5, reception class. She went to a trampoline park with my sister on saturday because I was working that day and by pure coincidence she met some of her class friends there.
One of them was having a birthday party(basically a booked table or 2 with a few adults and kids in a open space area). So ofc my DD was playing with her classmates and going to their table. The birthday girl mum ignored my daughter and literally turn her back on my daughter and offered all the other kids a slice of pizza. My sister noticed that and tried to remove her from there.
After a while ofc they had cake with Elsa(my daughter’s favourite character) and she was crying and being so upset why she can’t join them celebrate her friend’s birthday and have some cake too.
I do know she had no obligation whatsoever to include my daughter, but I just find it so rude and cruel to act like this with a 4 year old, especially being from the same class. I could never do it. I am thinking to privately message her or put a message on the parents group class(not giving names ofc) that we should all be nicer people(clearly she isn’t), maybe to learn something for the future. Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go and not stir things up and make it awkward when we meet eachother at school pick ups

PS in case she didn’t recognise my daughter, one of the other mums invited with her daughter at the party definitely knows my daughter and she didn’t say anything either (not her place to say it, but just for the record )

There were at least 5-6 adults to supervise. My anger is related to the fact that you plainly ignore a person, turning your back on them. If it were a grown up you would use words to tell them how you feel, kids understand words, or at least mine does, she is a reasonable kid most of the times. I think the situation could have been handled better by all parties involved

Not really you just don’t let your kid linger by a private party begging for food and cake making it awkward for the host.

YABU as others have said because it’s 25 pounds per child and if you are seen to add another to the party as a parent you’ll need to pay. Plus when you are hosting a party with so many children already, the main focus being your child’s happiness, your mind is preoccupied and not focused on one child you didn’t invite/don’t know standing at the side looking upset.

I recently had my DD’s party and on the morning of I got a message asking if the cousin of a child attending could come too. I said yes that’s fine even though my DD didn’t know them and I hosted them like all the other children at my expense. But I didn’t have a party bag for the additional child given the short notice, and when I didn’t give them one at the end he said “I thought we got gifts at the party”, the CFs uncle didn’t even bring a gift for my DD! And the father left them for me to look after while he went shopping! So 50 pounds for the party attendance, free cake, a party bag to share and free babysitting sounds alright to me but they still left looking grumpy 🙄 wouldn’t of minded if they’d left smiling!

I couldn't do that OP, it's cruel. Lots of Cruellas out in force though.

If you do have kids, are you’re watching every minute 100% what they’re doing in an open space area (trampoline park)?

She wasn't begging @Prinnny she was just, understandably, wanting to be close to her friends. Because she's four.

Not sure where people are getting that the kid was begging, or why they're being so hostile to OP.

" My sister noticed that and tried to remove her from there."

She did try to intervene. Short of leaving did you expect her to physically restrain the child?

"After a while ofc they had cake with Elsa(my daughter’s favourite character) and she was crying and being so upset why she can’t join them celebrate her friend’s birthday and have some cake too."

Did you expect the 4yo interloper not to notice this or show any emotion about it?

"I do know she had no obligation whatsoever to include my daughter"

OP doesn't want her kid to have stuffed her face with free pizza and cake, just a kindly smile or acknowledgement. And she's said the child's mother knows her daughter too, so stop acting like she was ignorant to that.

Exactly!

@happymom92 yes I do, children should be supervised at all times in places like such, there’s usually signs up saying so

@jamoncrumpets sorry didn’t realise you were also in attendance at the party? The child was removed from the party table at both times when food was served, hence was wanting food, therefore putting the host in an awkward situation so I’m not surprised she turned her back on her, it’s rude.

Oh you were there too? Well obviously I bow to your superior knowledge then.

Glad that you’re such a perfect mom and manage to give 100% of your attention to your kid

At all times

@jamoncrumpets no I’m just able to read, it’s there in black and white

@happymom92 I’m not perfect but I do make sure I supervise thoroughly, places like that can be rife for accidents plus I would hate for her to intrude on someone’s party like that.

You would really leave your 4 year old unsupervised in a play/trampoline place?

Your eyes should be on them at all times!

OP: "I'm too nice"
Also OP: posts two sarcastic and insulting to a stranger online who politely disagreed with her

Sorry OP but I don’t think the mum did anything wrong. It sounds like your sister should have handled this better rather than letting things get awkward. The mum was obviously signalling that it was a private event and it’s rude to gatecrash. Your daughter is too little to understand but that is why adults have to take the lead. You certainly shouldn’t post anything in a whatsapp group. That would be pretty ott. Is this a reverse?

If she would have been unsupervised the incident that I wrote about wouldn’t have been noticed. I was not there, but when your kid comes around and says she is playing with school friends and they’re chasing each other around you do keep an eye on them, but don’t turn into their personal shadow

Am I watching, yes!

Also, the host doesn't sound rude for turning her back - she was probably turning to her guests!! Did your sister introduce herself or explain who DD was?

Honestly, I'm sympathetic to your daughter but you're starting to sound like you expected the host to drop everything she was doing to welcome your DD.

It was actually one but I pressed send before adding the last words. There is as much hostility as you can take. “Child begging” when they’re 4, it just sounds ridiculous…

It doesn't sound ridiculous at all. Small children scavenging for food that they aren't entitled to and not taking no for an answer are complete pains in the arse, frankly. If I bring a picnic to the park in the summer, guaranteed I get some random hovering round staring at our lunch. Their adults should teach them their manners. Nobody is obliged to feed every Tom Dick and Harry who happens to.be in the vicinity of their meal.

Even if you don't watch (older) children 100% of the time in a trampoline Park environment, you absolutely should watch them like a hawk in the food area. They should not, under any circumstances, be walking about unsupervised in a place with hot drinks being carried around.

That’s the thing, she is not a pestering kind of child. She just wanted to be with her friends. She would never go to people she doesn’t know and randomly want things, she’s very shy

She just wanted to be with her friends

And she was with her friends when playing in the park, but when it was time for the party food she needed to leave them alone. She wasn’t an invited guest. Can you not see how uncomfortable it would be for the host having an uninvited child hovering by the table? And do you not see how entitled it makes you seem expecting the host to cater for her?

Thats different to what you said in your op!

After a while ofc they had cake with Elsa(my daughter’s favourite character) and she was crying and being so upset why she can’t join them celebrate her friend’s birthday and have some cake too