Police called after daughters meltdown

[Worriedmumnov]

I'm absolutely mortified and so worried. My 12 year old daughter suffers with anxiety which result in big meltdowns. Its almost like she needs to meltdown in order to self regulate. Last night after I had been talking to her for almost 2 hours about her worries she wanted me to continue but we were going over and over the same worry and I told her it was time for bed. She began to spiral into a meltdown and was shouting and getting upset. It was really late by this point around 10.30/11.00. We were trying to get her to calm down and to stop. Neither my husband or I was shouting at her. However we have holiday makers in the next door house (it's a terrace and the walls are thin). They were obviously concerned and called the police. She was mortified as was i. The police officers were lovely and kind. My daughter explained as did I. They said they took their hats off to me for the situation. However I think they automatically have to file this and I am so worried that they will have to contact the school. Is this the case does anyone know?
I don't know why I am worried as I know there was no safety concern for her. And we did nothing wrong but I just have a knot in my stomach about it. In many ways it was the kick up the bum for us to get her a counsellor - something I had been looking into. I have now found one and booked her an appointment.
I do understand why the neighbour did it. We went round and spoke to them and explained the situation but I feel so wretched about it.

Yes the school will be informed. Schools are automatically informed if police are called to any home where there are school aged children present for under 5s the HV service are informed. The information in school will be handled on a need to know basis and won’t be common knowledge among staff and discussed in the staffroom. However as she is struggling so much you really need to inform school anyway. Have you raised your concerns with school or the GP?

She didn't want the school to know previously so I hadn't. But obviously I will do so now. Thank you

This isn’t true.

You sound lovely.

Sure the school/ police etc hear alot worse.

Try not to worry, parenting is hard.

I have two younger children who were asleep at the time. Police obviously checked they were safe too. Will their school also be notified then?

Operation encompasses? It's possible they could refer on

Did her meltdown stop as soon as the police showed up?

Thank you for your kind message. Yep parenting is so hard isn't it? All I want is for my children to be happy.

We are informed of any domestic violence incident in a household which includes school age children- whether the children are there or not. Just basic details but we do know, I get several every weekend!

She had already stopped by the time they were there. They asked her why she was scared at bedtimes and she said I'm not scared, I'm just worried because I have low self esteem. Meltdown was just because she worries no-one likes her. She actually has loads of friends.

So not true

No it is not true that the school will be contacted. However, most police reports do as standard go to childrens social care. Do not panic. They may contact you and ask to complete a check/assessment just to make sure that if you need any support they can offer it. This is such a common thing and nothing to worry about .

They will probably record the incident in some format on their own police systems. They may make their own MH and childrens services referrals for your support. It is purely to create a footprint so that the if she comes to notice again (say for example she had a meltdown in the street) they could look her up and understand her history, nothing sinister or that would show up on a DBS.

If this was a domestic incident (which this would not be classed as) then the school would probably find out.

OK but there wasn't any domestic violence? Just her shouting. I do get that they were called in case there was any.

In my area no it doesn’t get reported to school, police will send report to children’s services and they’ll decide what needs to be done with the report such as calling you to find out what happened, what support you might need. They may ask for permission to contact school it will depend on what is written in the police report. It is only if report indicates that your daughter is at risk of significant harm could they consent and contact school

I had an identical situation with my daughter, police were called and they were really understanding, the school wasn’t contacted. Don’t worry OP, this happens a lot. I
said to the police that it was good someone called if they were worried about a child because think of all those poor children who are being abused and it gets missed 😢

sending you strength, it’s tough having a child that has anxiety, you are doing your best I’m sure, take care.

Should say override consent

Sorry was replying to an earlier message. Thank you. I feel a lot better now.

Did they ask what school she attends?

Yes you are right, it wasn’t a domestic incident. School would not automatically get notified.

Thank you! Yes, I said the same to the police!

Any local authority which is part of Operation Encompass will inform the school so it will depend whether it was recorded as domestic violence ( which isn't just parent on parent but can include child/parent or parent/child) and whether your police force uses Operation Encompass- most do as far as I am aware.

No, didnt ask what school she attends

Child is under 18 so not a domestic incident. This would not fall into the Op Encompass category. It really wouldn’t.

It very much is true. See my username. I’m the one who takes the police reports to the school.

As the police were called to a domestic disturbance they'll probably follow protocol and inform social services;if you have them appear at your door take advantage of this;they should be able to help signpost you to resources that can help:SS visits aren't always a negative thing.