Are you how you thought you'd be as a parent?

[bigbanana]

another thought for the day...

I think, for me, its more how I thought we'd be as parents and, yes, its exactly as I thought! I do all the boring stuff (tidy up etc.), disciplining and all that and ds and dp look at me with that 'ease up mum, have some fun' look..... They are ganging up on me already and ds is only 18 months...

i remember saying long before the birth that i wasn't looking forward to the baby bit and that i thought i'd be a better mother when 'it' started talking. that was about right. but for the rest, i hadn't a clue. still don't, really.

Talk about a life changing event! I was very worried that I wasn't going to be able to cope esp. being a so called 'older mum' (had dd when I was 35! - now 38!) and not having been married that long before having her. But then I always worry about things before they happen - dumb eh? I also thought that I would be a SAHM. I've now found that I can and do cope and quite often surprise myself. However, I'm not the most patient of people and I do find my voice going up a decibel or 2 when dd is being silly or having a girly strop!. I was not prepared for the total exhaustion of the first few months either and dh and I did fall out a bit - it was a bit of a tiredness competition! I also found being a SAHM bored me rigid and got quite depressed! Used to wake up and think 'OMG what shall we do today'. Went back to work p/t and so we have the best of both worlds and are all happy. Now that dd is 2.9 she is so much more fun to do stuff with and talk to. I couldn't imagine life without her now and can't believe how such a small person can summon up such extreme emotions. Am also lucky to have an incredibly supporting and adoring dh! - OK he drives me nuts sometimes but hey, he's a bloke!
Don't know how I'll manage if we ever manage to have No 2.! - but let's not worry about that now!

No- I had a vision of me as earth mother,floating around my organic veg patch with a troupe of robust children in tow & being really laid back about everything.I was firmly anti dummy & pro breast feeding.Then reality hit- years of infertility saw off the troupe of children-I've run out of time to achieve that one.As for keeping my veg patch going-I've managed a sad looking row of carrots ,1 pumpkin & a few tomato plants since dd arrived.

DD would suck anything as long as it wasn't one of my boobs,so that was breastfeeding down the pan.The dummy proved invaluable when she was very sucky but too small to find her thumb.

So,no,I'm not the mother I thought I'd be,but it turns out that the bits I thought I'd be rubbish at (wiping noses,clearing up sick,reading repetitive stories) don't seem quite as bad as I thought they would.Now dd is 15 months she is great fun & I can't imagine being without her.

No. I thought I'd have endless patience and endless energy (and ideas! ) for craft sessions and baking sessions with the children. Not to mention the breastfeeding!

And I was never ever ever going to make the emotional 'mistakes' I feel my mum made.

Guess what...

I'm with sandyballs on this one. (There's a phrase that I never expected to utter.. what a monicker, sb)

I thought that I would probably want to never work again once I had dd. Thought I'd spend my life going to parties and restaurants (Ha ha) with beaming, laid back baby on my hip. We'd present a united front to the world and nothing would ever get us down, so wrapped up in love were we! I'd probably never want to go back to work again...

I thought I'd never get angry and that the crying of my baby would never make me feel like chucking out of the window. (She wouldn't cry much anyway because they don't if they're happy do they? And why wouldn't she be happy?I'd make her happy)

The reality? I stayed at home for ten months which was as long as I could possibly stand. I was appalled by my general lack of patience and my general obsessing every single time she cried. (Perhaps she was hungry after all even though she'd just eaten, tired even though she'd just slept, perhaps...perhaps...oh I don't know...I must be a crap mother)

I couldn't wait to get back to work and when I left the house for the first time I actually had a spring in my step. The freedom! Just a little handbag with a purse and keys in...

Now she's fifteen months old I think I might actually be shaping up to be an okay mother. I'm learning to be more patient, my guilt has subsided and we are completely wrapped up in love with each other. I have also stopped guilt tripping myself about wanting to work too. I'm a better mother for going to work, no doubt about it...

I've been looking at mumsnet for over a year now but never posted (is that the right phrase?) a message. However, I had to write and say I'm so glad there are so many mums who admit to not being the best when it comes to arts and crafts. It makes me feel so much better. I decided it would be a good idea to make Christmas cards for the grandparents etc last weekend- ds fell asleep half way through, the cards were pretty rubbish and a week later there is still glitter ALL over the house - I think it's reproducing in an amoeba like way!

Louliz, welcome to Mumsnet

I'm much more relaxed and more loving and considerably less useless than I thought I would be.

I think I'm better in that I'm really quite organised so, although permanently knackered, do keep the house in good order and manage to do interesting things with the kids.

The thing I'm not as good at as I thought I'd be is actually playing with them or making things with them. I do lots of things with them - cakes, drawing, painting, jigsaws, lots of reading - but I don't find it as easy as I thought I would as sometimes it's just too boring!

The reading is OK, I like doing that because I love seeing how they learn to count, colours, describe things etc, and I think the other stuff will be more fun when they are a bit older and they get into it more. Art and crafty things are quite hard to do with a 3 and 2 year old and with a 3 month old needing attention at the same time. When they can do cutting and stuff without as much help, it will be easier I think.

I think I'm just noticing it now too because it's so cold and we are in more. Usually we'd be out most afternoons - in the garden with the sand out etc or in the park and do enjoy that - they are much easier to entertain outdoors and tend to be better behaved I find.

God, how boring is my post compared to everyone elses!

I knew I'd want to be a SAHM and I am, but it's nowhere near as easy as I thought it would be - the comment about reading Heat with a cup of tea while they play made me laugh!! That's what I thought but I never sit down, there's always something to be doing - playing, nappies, bottles, food, washing, hoovering, cleaning...oh and MN of course!

i'm not like the mother I thought i would be.As someone said earlier I thought i would be Mary poppins but in fact i'm the wicked witch of the west.I shout a lot and despite having vowed while pregnant that I would never ever smack my children, ds1 has had several smacks on the hand and leg.
I worrry constantly....about everything to do with them.My current worry is about whether ds1 is popular or not brcause his friends have been invited to a party and he hasn't.
My house is permanently chaotic and messy.
I am nearly always stressed off my head.

I never imagined I would feel their pain as deeply as i do...do you know what I mean?