Devastated by 22 month old tooth decay

[Mumanddone]

my toddler went for her first dental check up today. Even before the dentist looked in her mouth she asked me about breastfeeding and told me to limit it. She said DD has decay on top teeth and referred me to the community dental nurse. I’m devastated. My daughter has never had bottles or juice or much sugar (none before 1 and occasionally has had sugar since then). We brush her teeth.

yes, we breastfeed a lot. We bedshare and she’s prone to popping on and off the boob as and when (breastsleeping means I hardly notice when she’s drinking so no idea how many times a night she does). I feel awful that our breastfeeding habits could have caused this. The dentist said only expressed milk from now on in a cup if I want her to drink breastmilk.

I have been putting limits on daytime feeding for the past couple of months and she’s been feeding just in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bed (which is great) but I have always loved feeding her at night and it’s never caused issues.

I am so concerned and I know I will have to start night weaning but I simply can’t handle tears and to be honest, I am so worried that our peaceful quiet nights are over because she’ll be crying for the boob.

I feel like I’ve failed her doing the thing everyone told me to do (breastfeeding). Has anyone experienced this? How should I move forward?

She'll have new front teeth in a few years!

@crumpetswithjam theres a way of making your point without being horrible to the OP. I see you feel strongly but it’s not helpful to continue to post such aggressive digs when clearly OP is just looking for others experiences, advice and support in order to help her child. We get it, you don’t think breastfeeding is all that, but some people do.

I’m sorry to quote - it wouldn’t let me just reply.

Thank you for your comment. You are right in that the newborn latch works by drawing the nipple further into the mouth - the reason it works so well, and we have evolved this way, is because newborns don’t have teeth. As teeth erupt, and the child grows, the latch alters and transitions away from ‘suckling’ reflex, to ‘sucking’ action, which alters the distribution of oral contents. Suckling causes increased oral pressure and oral clearance. Sucking however does not, and oral contents are much more likely to stay and/or stick to teeth.

Posterior teeth are not affected in the same way by nursing/bottle feeding for two reasons. 1. The position of salivary glands adjacent to primary molars, and the action of saliva flowing over these teeth. This doesn’t happen in the same way in anterior teeth. 2. Mouth breathing in babies - this is very common and most babies sleep with their mouths open, looking gloriously cute! However, this rapidly dries out the anterior teeth, removing any protective effects of the saliva in clearing bacteria/plaque/carbohydrate and significantly increases the rate at which decay can develop.

Im sorry to sound like a know it all! I really am not, it’s just nice to be able to explain these things in more detail and try to be helpful. I really feel for all parents - I know everyone is doing their absolute best, and even when we do, sometimes it’s still doesn’t work out.

And I am no saint and have no shame in admitting it. I’m just a normal mum (who has just given her toddlers a fruit shoot and chocolate bar mid-disastrous shopping trip this afternoon) - we all deserve to be cut some slack and everything in moderation is nearly always ok! X

Several posters have suggested not listening to professional advice because they did extended breastfeeding and their kids’ teeth are perfect. Well, the OP also did extended breastfeeding and her little one has tooth decay. So, now what? Anecdotes mean nothing!

Thanks for taking the time to answer and satisfy my curiosity, that’s interesting

Sorry haven't rtft.

My toddler still has a bottle overnight (and BFs but I don't think anything is actually coming out any more 🙈). Luckily no decay yet. My dentist recommend water after the bottle to rinse the teeth. I appreciate this might be difficult if she's on and off the boob all night though.

And re the guilt - it is impossible to get it all right as a mother. You are doing your best and learning as you go (and she has another set of teeth to come!). It's fine.

I know but she still has many years left with this set and I need to make sure I prevent further damage

That's pretty easy, just cut out night feeds.

Yes and baby teeth are placeholders and if they are lost, it can affect the straightness of second teeth. Having said that though, I never lost any baby teethy prematurely and my second teeth were an orthodontist's dream.

It's not all good or all bad, OP. Yes, breast milk is wonderful, but in the context of a discussion about tooth decay, it is a sugary drink. Your daughter freely helps herself to sugary drinks throughout the night, and with no-one awake to supervise her. That's what needs to change.

Gently OP, I think you need to come down to earth a bit. Breast milk isn't a magical elixir that imparts balance and intellect, nor is breastfeeding the only way to raise a well-nurtured child. In the context of tooth decay, your breasts are sugar dispensers.

Your daughter doesn't sound 'extremely well adjusted and bright' to me. It sounds like she's always gratified, because you 'simply can't handle tears'. That's the very opposite of balance, from both of you.

Christ, I thought I went in hard

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to comment. I have read all of them and it has given myself and my husband plenty of thought. I know in my heart how much good my breastmilk has done and I’m very upset that it has also caused harm. For updates, we made the decision to stop overnight feeding cold turkey. Last night, I slept in a separate room and my daughter slept with her dad. She slept like a log and he resettled her within seconds whenever she stirred.

I have explained to her that from now on boobie is only in the daytime and I trust she understand this. I simply couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t make a big change. I will continue to feed her the few times in the day. This is what feels right for us and I know even that will come to a steady end eventually. I will combine this with less fruit and be even tighter on sugar.

Lastly, the nasty messages really weren’t needed but I thank everyone else for their measured comments, especially those with credentials (I hope).

Your gently is the equivalent of saying “no offence” before saying something offensive. Clearly you’ve made your mind up about my entire personality and child’s personality from one post.

@Mumanddone That was not at all my intent OP, and I'm sorry it came across that way. You are clearly a thoughtful and loving mother, but had veered off single-mindedly in one direction, and ended up giving yourself a really hard time when new information came to light.

Balance is about not always being perfect, being able to see the whole picture, being okay with tears, and with getting wrong, but above all, not being as distressed with yourself as you were earlier on this thread.

Again I'm sorry. I'll bow out now.

OP has done the right thing to breastfeed. It is a magical elixer and it does impart intelligence and a healthy immune system. My 3 year old has some early decay on his front teeth. Probably can keep it under control though until his adult teeth come through.

Fluoride isn't great. Lowers IQ, although it does protect your baby's teeth. You have to decide.

Breastfeeding probably does contribute to incisor tooth decay but its most likely very much worth the risk as the benefits are incalculable.

@ThunderDad why have you resurrected a 6 month old thread? Now more people will just jump in and have a go at OP even though she probably wants to forget about it.

I didn't know it was old. It came up on a list of threads somehow, I think because I searched for 'tooth decay in toddler'. Anyway, OP was right and people who are having a go at her are probably just salty because they couldn't hack breastfeeding. Which is hard by the way. My wife's journey with this was perhaps the most stressful experience of both our lives.

Fluoride lowering IQ sounds like baloney but I appreciate your sentiment. I really wish I’d know these risks before. We are managing the decay now. Will never regret breastfeeding but this decay has been such a stain on a beautiful journey. Wish you well.

We breastfed to 26 months and no tooth decay.
It’s definitely not something my dentist would say!

Do you have good teeth and do you actually brush her teeth properly? DH has shit teeth and I don’t usually let him do DD’s as he’s not thorough enough. I don’t want her ending up like him. I’m mid 40’s and not a single filling. My dentist says mine are indestructible-genes!

I think because milk has its own sugar (lactose) so it's not good for a bed/nightime drink. So only water after teeth brushed in evening. You could still BF in day, tho.

It's the sugars in milk. Same as we tell people not to let their kids have excess amounts of fruit. Yes it's good for you but not your teeth with the natural sugars. Exactly the same with juice.

The most important brush of the day is in fact your nighttime brush.

Unfortunately, some children are more susceptible to tooth decay and sometimes you can follow everything right and still have tooth decay.

When some women have to have AB's in pregnancy it can affect the unborn babies teeth in the womb.

There are many factors to children's tooth decay. You won't be the first to have a toddler with tooth decay nor the last. What I do advise is if it is manageable with a filling and no pain do not get it removed. This can affect the adult tooth. Not all the time but some of the time we have seen this.

I could have written this post word for word!