Devastated by 22 month old tooth decay

[Mumanddone]

my toddler went for her first dental check up today. Even before the dentist looked in her mouth she asked me about breastfeeding and told me to limit it. She said DD has decay on top teeth and referred me to the community dental nurse. I’m devastated. My daughter has never had bottles or juice or much sugar (none before 1 and occasionally has had sugar since then). We brush her teeth.

yes, we breastfeed a lot. We bedshare and she’s prone to popping on and off the boob as and when (breastsleeping means I hardly notice when she’s drinking so no idea how many times a night she does). I feel awful that our breastfeeding habits could have caused this. The dentist said only expressed milk from now on in a cup if I want her to drink breastmilk.

I have been putting limits on daytime feeding for the past couple of months and she’s been feeding just in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bed (which is great) but I have always loved feeding her at night and it’s never caused issues.

I am so concerned and I know I will have to start night weaning but I simply can’t handle tears and to be honest, I am so worried that our peaceful quiet nights are over because she’ll be crying for the boob.

I feel like I’ve failed her doing the thing everyone told me to do (breastfeeding). Has anyone experienced this? How should I move forward?

I do also credit extended breastfeeding with making her extremely well adjusted and bright to an extent

nicely, this is absolute nonsense.

I am so upset. Never thought my breastfeeding journey would have such a sour ending

This is interesting. DGS is still BF on demand day and night at the age of two and a half. His DM has told us that he has major problems with plaque, but is too young for anything to be done about it.

I shall do some reading. Thank you.

Honestly, cold turkey and a few nights of upset is much better than excruciating pain from bad teeth in the long run.
Your DD is not benefiting from breast feeding anymore, it's causing problems with her teeth - so time to stop. You can express for her to have milk in a cup if necessary, but she's night feeding for comfort, not because she needs feeding. Cup of milk before bed, and grit your teeth for a few nights and stay firm.

You know this is nonsense, right, OP?

"I do also credit extended breastfeeding with making her extremely well adjusted and bright"

That's no a thing. Breast milk doesn't make people cleverer. It just feeds hungry babies. Intelligence is more likely hereditary and, that being the case, she has inherited her intellect from her mother who thinks boobs make geniuses.

This is unnecessarily cruel. I never said that boobs make geniuses. But I do think being comforted has led her to be a very stable and calm little girl. I do suppose you’re just here to have a pop at a mum feeling fragile so I shall
let you carry on

Of course breast milk can lead to tooth decay. It's chock full of sugar. Imagine your child sucking apple juice through a teat at intervals throughout a day - they'd decay wouldn't they? Breast milk is the same.

I think a lot of it is down to luck. I bf both dds to sleep and during the night. Dd2 was still having breastfeeds until she was 4! Both have great teeth and have sweets and juice and all that. I have a diet of caffeine and sugar and at 37 have never had a sinle

I was always told that once a child has teeth you must stop feeding to sleep or overnight (bottles or breast) as the milk sits on the teeth overnight and the sugars cause decay. My dad is a dentist and says he sees so many toddlers with tooth decay from extended breastfeeding or use of bottles at night.

If you think about it, it's just common sense. You don't eat all night long, do you?

I thought that lactose was found to not be damaging in the way that sucrose and fructose plus acidic fruit are.

It'll be the night feeding and all the fruit (fruit is full of sugar - not a tooth healthy snack I'm afraid). You don't have to stop breastfeeding altogether, feeding in the day is fine but no feeding after teeth are brushed in the evening. Only give fruit with/after meals not inbetween meals and maximum 5 or 6 eating times a day (3 meals, two snacks, and a breastfeed for instance)(teeth can handle 5 or 6 acid "attacks" from food a day, any more is not good)

Agree.
When does breastfeeding come up as a subject when children/adults do well in something? When does it come up at all in childhood in chats with medical professionals when child is ill? Never.

You relationship with your child whether you bf or not is key to making a well balanced and adjusted toddler. Not bf.

Literally it is a lovely thing to do and soothing for tiny baby so I did it (still do as I have a 5 mo) but the benefits are massively inflated.

People who can't breastfeed can also comfort children very effectively, OP.

Sorry, this keeps posting too soon. Have not got a single filling.

Brushing after feeding and not during the night is best practice once they have teeth but it is so very unlikely to be the cause of the decay. Could just have been a problem with that tooth to make decay more likely.

Fructose is present in breast milk.

And you can comfort a baby without breastfeeding- many other ways: holding, singing, cuddling....
i couldn't breastfeed my second past two months as I had candida in my breast and I can assure you she was comforted.

I’m well aware. She is comforted very effectively by myself and others without the need of breastmilk. And I suppose that particular mode of comfort will have to stop now too.

But I do think being comforted has led her to be a very stable and calm little girl

With respect op - that's luck and nothing to do with being breastfed. There are a million effective ways to comfort a child that don't involve being breastfed.
It's also luck that she's a calm natured toddler - there are several good parents who have high needs babies who won't settle no matter what they try.

You aren't well aware, OP, because you literally said you though your extended breastfeeding had contributed to having such a 'bright' child. So no, you are not well aware. You thought your breast milk made your child clever.

I had one DC with awful tooth decay. His eldest has inherited it. They have a name for it. Grandpa has it to. Grandson second teeth have come through with it. DIL feels guilty, I feel guilty. But it's genetic. Thankfully dental care has improved so much.

Only got to 20 and 22 month with younger ones - eldest was just past 12 months. My children's teeth are fine - no decay and was never warned.

Fruit snacks - acidic and sugary - probably aren't great - and limiting eating and snacking is better for teeth more generally.

If bf is now worrying you cut down - you'll probably be doing that anyway dropping feeds gradually - but cut down on the fruit outside meals and drink should be milk or water no juice.

You’ve made your point. Enjoy your day

This happened to my daughter and she ended up having several teeth removed under GA. I was devastated. She's 12 now and has most of her adult teeth, with no problems.

With my daughter, it turned out her baby teeth were really weak and soft, but thankfully her adult teeth are the opposite and she's had no cavities so far.

Sorry not much help, but wanted to say I know how you feel. X

@Shiningstarr was this down to breastfeeding do you think? Which teeth did they remove and when?

There are loads of studies showing that breastfed children consistently perform better on IQ tests as adults. Of course it’s a difficult thing to measure and there could be many influencing factors, but it’s not a stupid statement for OP to make. No need for you to take this so personally.