Devastated by 22 month old tooth decay

[Mumanddone]

my toddler went for her first dental check up today. Even before the dentist looked in her mouth she asked me about breastfeeding and told me to limit it. She said DD has decay on top teeth and referred me to the community dental nurse. I’m devastated. My daughter has never had bottles or juice or much sugar (none before 1 and occasionally has had sugar since then). We brush her teeth.

yes, we breastfeed a lot. We bedshare and she’s prone to popping on and off the boob as and when (breastsleeping means I hardly notice when she’s drinking so no idea how many times a night she does). I feel awful that our breastfeeding habits could have caused this. The dentist said only expressed milk from now on in a cup if I want her to drink breastmilk.

I have been putting limits on daytime feeding for the past couple of months and she’s been feeding just in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bed (which is great) but I have always loved feeding her at night and it’s never caused issues.

I am so concerned and I know I will have to start night weaning but I simply can’t handle tears and to be honest, I am so worried that our peaceful quiet nights are over because she’ll be crying for the boob.

I feel like I’ve failed her doing the thing everyone told me to do (breastfeeding). Has anyone experienced this? How should I move forward?

Calling bullshit on breastfeeding causing it. My DS fed to 4 and has perfect teeth. We are quite careful to limit fruit and juice and not really give any sweets until 3.

Breast fed my youngest until he was 3, his teeth are in amazing shape. I’d ignore the dentist and the health visitor on this matter tbh. Keep breastfeeding until you and your DC are ready to stop. (And if your LO is anything like mine, sleep feeding is sometimes the only way you get a rest at night anyway!)

I breastfed all of my sons for a year and admittedly it was not the best experience for us. I completely understand (and agree with) the health benefits of BF. I have a serious question (not meaning to be cheeky at all!). How does extended BF make a child well-adjusted and bright? I think the teeth can be chalked up to genetics as others have said. Don't beat yourself up.

Milk contains a lot of sugars but it probably wasn't your breast milk.

A lot of fruit can actually cause tooth decay it's just as bad as sweets.

@momtoboys tbh for us it helped him be “well-adjusted” by providing comfort. The pandemic hit when he was just turning into a toddler, he became so much clingier and definitely increased his feeds because everyone and everything he ever knew in life disappeared. We had tried to stop but he was miserable and very clingy, upset, regressed quite a lot etc. Soon as I started up again he was suddenly back to his usual self. He’s the only one of my children to have breastfed so long and the difference between his confidence and abilities exceeded his older siblings at the same ages and stages but that could be because he is the youngest of 3 and have nothing to do with breastfeeding.

Oh im so sorry 😞* I am
sure it must have felt awful. Did she just not have her top teeth? For how long?*

Well yes the teeth that were removed were gone for good, so until the adult teeth come down there's no teeth there. As I say it was 5 teeth, not just the top front teeth.

Her adult teeth started coming when she was in primary school, in the infants I think. I've got a job to remember as she is 12 now.

As a fellow professional I totally agree. Far too many parents get their children to rinse after brushing. The fluoride needs to stay on the teeth. Obviously bf many times in the night will negate the benefits of fluoride

It's 100% the fruit not the breast milk.

We do not rinse and will Continue not to.

I’ve just looked at the referral and it’s a place for highly anxious children who can’t be treated by a normal dentist and children with complex needs.

She cried when she was being seen because she’s a 22 month old with a stranger’s fingers in her mouth. I thought it was quite normal for them to cry. I prepped my daughter before we went in and she calmed down as soon as she got her sticker. I don’t know what this special service will entail but it almost makes me think like she couldn’t be bothered

It will be a specialist Centre that is used to very small children. I've worked in one. Everyone will be highly experienced in dealing with two year olds.

@potentiallypolly thank you for the clear explanation. Makes perfect sense!

Thank you! Do most small toddlers get referred to such places?

Our dentist said they’ve seen a few children over the year with potentially bf related decay (otherwise healthy diets). It’s up to you whether you believe them but the decay is there and constant milk on the teeth probably won’t help.
Could you bf in the day and then try to night wean? Brush teeth as often as possible. It’s horrible and don’t feel guilty what’s done is done.

@Mumanddone Yes it's far better for your DC than a general dental practice.

I have already cut down int he day to a level that I think is good. Night is the issue. I need to find a solution.

'I do also credit extended breastfeeding with making her extremely well adjusted and bright to an extent but I think it may be time to stop.'

Oh for crying out loud.

Stop breastfeeding at night. That's the solution, or at least part of it. It's not your fault up til now, but it'll be your fault from now on.

The DC I did extended bf with was the most difficult and restless child. The others rejected bf at 8 months and were the calm ones.

It’s not breastfeeding or extended breastfeeding that’s the problem it’s feeding all night long. My kids’ dentist says decay in the front teeth in a toddler is usually caused by feeding during the night - either a bottle left in the cot or unlimited access to the breast so the milk is pooling in the front of the mouth. Decay from eating sweets or not brushing correctly tends to be in the molars.

Not wishing to be unkind OP but your beliefs around the benefits of bf are a bit overstated. It’s easy to get caught up in competitive parenting and convince yourself you’re creating the perfect child through your actions but in a couple of years nobody will know nor care whether she was breastfed and she certainly won’t be superior to other children because of it.

Hi op

FWIW I breastfed both of mine exclusively until they were nearly 4 including night feeds until they were 24 months-ish. The oldest has perfect strong teeth, he’s 15 now and never had a filling. The youngest had terrible first teeth: multiple cavities, soft and just weak teeth. Both had the same feeding / nursing / brushing routine.

no dentist every blamed either me or breastfeeding: they just agreed that he had very poor enamel in his first teeth. Luckily his adult teeth seem to be much stronger: he’s12 now and no fillings, but we are keeping a very close eye on brushing and checkups.

so try not to feel guilty, and remember these are called milk teeth for a reason.

on night weaning, we did it around 2 yrs for both. We used an adapted version of Jay Gordon’s programme www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed . There were tears but honestly I was just done by then. We continued to cosleep for quite a long time after that.

She's nearly 2. Stop feeding, tell her no, no more milk at night time, and maybe just one in the morning or evening. Get her into her own bed.

I promise she'll still be the bright little thing you have now, but you get your body back and at least one thing that might be contributing to her teeth will be stopped.

Nothing genetic except in certain, relatively rare, conditions such as hypodontia where the enamel is extremely weak. Decay is fundametally due to frequency of sugar intake.

I BF one and not the other. No difference in them really. The non BF one is autistic, but that's genetic. Feeding him from my body wouldn't have affected his neurotype (His neurotype may have affected feeding though, as research seems to point to BF issues being more prevalent in children later diagnosed as autistic).

I can't understand how people on here have convinced themselves that tooth decay is genetic and that breast milk doesn't rot teeth. All sugary drinks, taken frequently, would rot teeth. Sugar causes decay.

There are lots of studies in highly regarded journals that show a correlation between extended nursing at night and tooth decay.
Further studies have shown that a clean tooth left in a mixture of breast milk will react just the same as a tooth left in water. However, if there is a tiny speck of carbohydrate left on the tooth it will react with the breastmilk and cause more decay than a tooth left in a solution of sugar water. It is incredibly hard to ensure sure you have thoroughly cleaned a toddlers teeth so that there is not a trace of food left on. For this reason I made sure that once my little ones teeth were coming through I always brushed after their last feed and then no more milk until morning.
I dont think it is a coincidence that there are almost daily posts about toddlers with severe tooth decay in the extended feeding facebook group.