Devastated by 22 month old tooth decay

[Mumanddone]

my toddler went for her first dental check up today. Even before the dentist looked in her mouth she asked me about breastfeeding and told me to limit it. She said DD has decay on top teeth and referred me to the community dental nurse. I’m devastated. My daughter has never had bottles or juice or much sugar (none before 1 and occasionally has had sugar since then). We brush her teeth.

yes, we breastfeed a lot. We bedshare and she’s prone to popping on and off the boob as and when (breastsleeping means I hardly notice when she’s drinking so no idea how many times a night she does). I feel awful that our breastfeeding habits could have caused this. The dentist said only expressed milk from now on in a cup if I want her to drink breastmilk.

I have been putting limits on daytime feeding for the past couple of months and she’s been feeding just in the morning, once in the afternoon and before bed (which is great) but I have always loved feeding her at night and it’s never caused issues.

I am so concerned and I know I will have to start night weaning but I simply can’t handle tears and to be honest, I am so worried that our peaceful quiet nights are over because she’ll be crying for the boob.

I feel like I’ve failed her doing the thing everyone told me to do (breastfeeding). Has anyone experienced this? How should I move forward?

It doesn't really matter how it came to happen, don't get hung up on that. From everything I've ever read, weak enamel is inherited and it certainly doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.
However, the decay has started now, so from now on you've got to be much more careful. Stop bfing at night. Undamaged enamel can take it, decayed enamel cannot. Absolutely no food after teeth brushed at night. Limit snack to non sugary and fruit only with meals. You can research from here but from here it is your responsibility, sorry, its a really tough one.

Good Luck.

Toddler is rarely ever sick (touches ALL the wood) so it can’t be repetitive sickness. I wonder if the fruit and boob at night with weak teeth (my family doesn’t have brilliant teeth history) is an evil cocktail. Either way I don’t think it will hurt to reduce breastfeeding at night

Did your dentist actually ask what else your child eats and how often? And if they’ve had antibiotics that can damage teeth enamel? It sounds like they’ve jumped to conclusions. Loads of fruit and processed children’s snacks like yoyos and sweet cereal bars, raisins etc get stuck in kids teeth for ages and are terrible for decay.

I don’t think it’s breastfeeding per se, but it’s breastfeeding a toddler all through the night without brushing their teeth in between. I fed both of my DC until 2.5 but I sleep trained both at14 months. Water only and own beds at night. Modern ‘attachment’ parenting into toddlerhood gives everyone a shit nights sleep.

I think I definitely need to tighten up on brushing. The past few weeks I’ve been more successful by letting her watch Elmo brush his teeth while I go to town (we’re screen free otherwise so it distracts her for a couple of minutes). I think Elmo will need to step up from now on

Honestly, genetics really is the biggie here - my eldest fed until he was over 3, his teeth are pristine (the dentist actually used that word!).

Breastfeeding doesn't cause tooth decay - your dentist is ill-informed.

The thing is - the bed sharing and breastfeeding has given us lovely nights with no disruptions. We all sleep brilliantly. I don’t want to change what works but as people have said, it’s not worth potential pain she may get from tooth decay.

Okay this is just my experience but maybe it's somewhat helpful:
I breastfed my DS until he was four years old. All through the nights. He never slept as he had horrific reflux. So horrific that he was medicated for it until he was five. And the medication was so horrible and bitter that he had it crushed up with a small spoon of sugar every night. And we didn't brush his teeth because life was hard enough. He's a teenager now. His teeth are PERFECT. He's never had a single dental intervention. Utterly beautiful, straight, strong, white teeth. The dentist explained me that they are learning all the time that various factors influence dentIl health, including the microbiome of both mother and child, vitamin D status during pregnancy, exposure to fevers, antibiotics, inflammation. She says his breastmilk intake was likely protective as breastmilk is so high in nutrients, full of probiotics, and is anti-inflammatory. And good genetics play a part. So please don't beat yourself up OP: tooth decay is a multi factorial thing, and it's likely that the breastmilk is benefiting her in many ways. It's not as simple as 'breastmilk has rotted her teeth'. There will lots of contributing factors and I don't think it's in either of your best interests to stop breastfeeding cold turkey.

Oster is clear on her analysis but there are plenty of conflicting analyses. So seems to me the science is far from settled, and some posters’ aggressiveness and bitterness towards OP likely stems from their own insecurities.

Fruit at night will definitely be a bigger issue than breastfeeding. Fruit is great but awful for teeth due to sugars and acids. My toddler loves fruit and hates toothbrushing so it’s a battle I’m well aware of, but best to only give fruit with a meal and not after evening teeth brushing

She asked nothing. She even spoke about breastfeeding before she even peered in her mouth. I have never been on antibiotics.

i do think she may have a bad perception of breastfeeding but I need to meet her halfway and mitigate the damage I’ve clearly already caused.

She’ll never have teeth after a brush. Only breastmilk. But I will stop fruit snacking too, just to be sure. It can be for her breakfast

Thank you. I’m sorry it sounds like you had a really tough time there and I’m glad it’s rewarded you with beautiful teeth at least 😂 I will definitely consider all the things that may have contributed to this.

I'm struggling to except this reasoning from your dentist. As a child raised in the 80s on coco pops and juice - I can't fathom how breastfeeding your kid would cause tooth decay.

Just throwing it out there with sod all medical experience, so heaps of salt thrown at this statement - here goes - is there a chance she has a calcium/vitamin d deficiency? Calcium and vitamin d is really important for bone development, so could be worth a visit to the GP.

Also - you can always try a different dentist, get a second opinion. Sometimes people are just arsehols and make shit up - even in medical profession. Not the majority, not even a lot, but some do.

But I'm reiterating, I have no knowledge to base these statements, it's just where my mind went reading your post.

Antibiotics could have been in pregnancy or shortly after birth, this happened to a friend's child and I worried because DS2 was given antibiotics at birth but we seem to have been lucky and it hasn't affected his teeth. Also I would much rather bad teeth than a newborn with a bad infection of course. The benefits do outweigh the risks.

Anyway my point is I do not think this is your fault, these things happen and it really doesn't sound like you've been neglecting her dental health so do not beat yourself up.

Thank you! I definitely haven’t. But I also haven’t ever taken antibiotics so it can’t be that.

Took the words out of my fingertips

They aren't. Im a paediatric specialist dentist & extended on demand breastfeeding can cause decay, I see a few cases a year coming to me for extractions under GA. We do diet diaries to get to the bottom of the exact cause.
The same as any frequent intake of sugar can cause decay - the only ‘safe’ drink for teeth is plain water.

Don't worry, they are only baby teeth and you are doing all the right things. My friend's DD had early tooth decay and it was down to some genetic enamel thing.

Aw no x

some people just have rubbishy enamel. I have a family member whose teeth are awful, she hasn’t been fed rubbish, dental hygiene is great, other family members teeth are great with the same upbringing. Dentist did say to my relative that sometimes the enamel just doesn’t form fully in the womb. I would feel the same and my kids are teenagers now! Xx but please don’t blame yourself.

There is a book called cure tooth decay which is a trove of information.There’s a FB group also. Your child needs a toothpaste containing Hydroxyapatite. Splat is a good brand. Grains cause tooth decay, as does lack of animal fats. Good quality butter and cheese such as Gouda is essential for teeth. Breastfeeding does not cause tooth decay. Look into the work of Weston A Price.

As a dentist and a mum who bf DS until 2 I don’t subscribe to the theory that bf increases caries in children.
As for genetics, again very rare.
Two causes spring to mind.

1. Learned eating habits and diet.
2. ”Healthy snacks” such as dried fruit, fruit and smoothies all packed full of sugar and often very acidic. The combination of low ph, which softens the enamel and sugar that provides bacteria with a plentiful food source is the perfect environment for tooth decay.

You can’t turn back the clock but you can improve the health of you child’s teeth in the future.
Avoid dried fruit, fruit yoghurts ( in fact any potted product), lots of fresh fruit and absolutely no smoothies.
Make vegetables your 5-7 a day they contain less sugar. The greener the better.
Cut out snacks and start using positive reinforcement. My DS loves broccoli because I made sure I told everyone he did when he was within earshot, I also told everyone he didn’t like cakes and biscuits and he wouldn’t even try them. Quite funny when he had them later and told me he tried them and now liked them.
Fluoride toothpaste is a must and clean their teeth until they are 8yrs old. If you struggle kneel on the floor and get them to lie with their head in your lap. Brushing from behind is much easier and if you sit under a light source it’s much easier to see.
There are loads of apps available for brushing. Also the sugar smart app allows you to scan food products to see the hidden sugar content.
Finally, do not teach them to rinse out. Just get them to spit out excess then leave. Rinsing just removes the toothpaste.

There’s no need to get so sensitive. The OP is just expressing what she thinks on the matter and really there’s no good evidence either way so just let people get on with it.

Thank you. She is a fresh fruit fiend but I can definitely say there’s not been any smoothies or dried fruit in her diet. She likes YoYos etc but has had them only a handful of times in her life. I will steer clear of what you’ve said And will reinforce other snacks. She loves veggies. The issue is that fruit often comes prepared for snacks but I will offer other snacks now.

I know you say I can’t turn back time (oh how I wish I could) but can this be managed? I feel so worried

I suspect if anyone spent the night nibbling on haribos for comfort the dentist might be concerned