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Original poster

Is a son really only a son until he finds a wife?

124 replies

Murphy91 · 15/10/2022 19:31

Hey all, yesterday I had my 20 week scan, everything is perfect with baby so far, and we found out we're having a beautiful baby boy (our first child)

Finding the sex out has really made this real for us both and we're already so excited. Today however, someone recited a quote to me. " a son is a son till he finds a wife. A daughter is a daughter for life" . So I thought I'd ask if any other boy mamas out there find this quote as depressing as I have! I'm now really worried that my son won't have a strong bond with me and will forget all about me once he finds his own family. I know im probably just being hormonal and over thinking. But im starting to wonder if I would have had a stronger bond with a daughter.

So I thought I'd ask all you boy mamas to share your stories and mother/son bonds with me. 💙

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Starpop · 15/10/2022 20:09

Load of rubbish in my opinion, anyway your son may find a husband or decide to stay single!

I have an older son and we've always been very close, he isn't married yet but I can't see it changing if he does get married. I've got a baby boy too now and he's already an absolute Mammas boy!

congratulations on your pregnancy, and enjoy your gorgeous baby boy when he arrives x

Minimalme · 15/10/2022 20:10

I was a daughter but I don't see my Mother at all now because she is a terrible person.

I have three sons and I am close with them but if they want to live their own life when they get to 18, I am not going to stop them. Life is for living and I consider myself lucky to have had them as children.

user1474315215 · 15/10/2022 20:13

My DS was a very affectionate child and we remain very close. He married a wonderful young woman who I love like a daughter and we all see each other at least weekly.

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Twilight7777 · 15/10/2022 20:14

In my brothers case it is true 🙄

MarieCondom · 15/10/2022 20:15

My son is 21, OP, and I have a brilliant relationship with him. I think that's mainly because neither of us acts like a dick. We know when to give one another space, but enjoy one another's company. We make one another laugh a lot. However, I feel the same about him as I feel about my daughters - you bring them up in the hope that they'll go on to have happy and functional relationships with their own husbands/wives (one of my children is gay, so I wouldn't make assumptions about a boy necessarily finding a wife...).

Nina9870 · 15/10/2022 20:16

Nah. My husband only has brothers and they’re really close to their mum.
We see her through the week, and we go to hers every Sunday for a roast. I’m just as close to my mum too. The kids love both their Nans equally and love spending time with them.
I get on with my MIL really well and all her boys are really good to her.

interstatelovesong · 15/10/2022 20:17

Well my teenage daughter seems to hate me and is horrible to me. And my teenage son is mostly loving, respectful and kind . He's only 16 though so doesn't have a wife yet

FrankTheThunderbird · 15/10/2022 20:17

tickticksnooze · 15/10/2022 20:07

That was true in the past in a literal not symbolic sense - a woman would leave her family home upon marriage to live in her husband's family home and may never see her family again after her wedding day.

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Well that's true. But not for my generation, or my parents or grandparents so them saying it was crap. Mind you, they talk a lot of crap.

Jenn500 · 15/10/2022 20:18

i Also wonder that, a lot of boys are obsessed with gaming so probably don’t spend a lot of time with their mums as teenagers.

SunflowerGirl91 · 15/10/2022 20:18

Heartofglass12345 · 15/10/2022 20:08

I find it weird that people are assuming the sexuality of a baby that hasn't been born yet Confused

Oh fgs! Are you for real? Chances are he will be heterosexual because the majority of people are, however I’m sure the OP doesn’t care who he chooses to love aslong as he’s happy. She was just asking for opinions on the quote she recieved

by your logic, we must all find it weird that we assume he’s always going to identify as a male, huh? 🙄

Cleopatra67 · 15/10/2022 20:19

Utter bollocks. It’s the 21st Century. All children grow up - it’s natural.

IsThePopeCatholic · 15/10/2022 20:19

The only drawback to having sons is that if they have children and then split from their wives, the wife usually keeps the children - and she may not be keen to keep the grandparents involved.

huuskymam · 15/10/2022 20:20

I don't think so, we'll having 2 sons and a daughter, I hope not. My 2 brothers drop into my mam daily to see if she needs anything. My dh is on the phone to him mam at least twice a week and drops in whenever she needs something, he actually contacts her more than his sister.

TwoWrightFeet · 15/10/2022 20:20

Ask your MIL and see what she says.

RedRobyn2021 · 15/10/2022 20:22

You get what you put in.

DramaAlpaca · 15/10/2022 20:23

I have three adult sons, no daughters. I'm very close to all of them and we have built a great relationship as they've grown up, so I hope that doesn't change when they settle down with wives/partners.

CaronPoivre · 15/10/2022 20:23

We remain very close to our son. We are very fond of his wife too.

FellowClassicsMum · 15/10/2022 20:25

If it’s reassuring at all - my husband talks to his mum at least once a week, usually more. He’s very close to her. I haven’t spoken to my mother for weeks and it can go months in between. So definitely NOT true in our household.

CandyflossGin · 15/10/2022 20:25

Load of rubbish, I can assure you.

FrankTheThunderbird · 15/10/2022 20:28

IsThePopeCatholic · 15/10/2022 20:19

The only drawback to having sons is that if they have children and then split from their wives, the wife usually keeps the children - and she may not be keen to keep the grandparents involved.

Then the son/father in question can make sure he sees as much of his DC as possible and maintain that relationship with his parents.

My ex chose to hardly ever see our dc. His parents chose not to see them either, I would have met them/allowed them to take dc out if they'd asked. They didn't.

That's on them.

OneFrenchEgg · 15/10/2022 20:29

Someone came round to see my (then) new baby and said this. Something like oh it's a shame you've had another boy, insert crappy quote.

Notsureaboutusername · 15/10/2022 20:31

I think it is an old fashioned statement. If you bring your boy up to be independent and being able to do daily tasks, cooking, cleaning, washing etc you will not have gone wrong. The world is now a different place where in most cases both partners in a relationship have to work and the strain will be taken off the other partner if your boy can help

Ragwort · 15/10/2022 20:31

Your baby hasn't even been born yet ... why are you even worrying about this?! Some DC are close to their parents ... some aren't - are you close to your DPs? Is your DH close to his DPs? I have an only DC - a DS who is 21 now - we are close but not 'joined at the hip', I am delighted that he has grown up to be an independent young man and I look forward to him making his own way in life, I don't expect him to remain living close to me, why should he? I didn't grow up expecting to live close to my DPs, we have a good relationship but that doesn't mean we need to physically live near each other, spend every Christmas and holiday together etc etc. Give your DC wings and let them fly ... and don't depend on your DC for emotional support.

Arriettyborrower · 15/10/2022 20:32

That expression is such a load of tripe. I have 4 boys, 29/27/15/12 and am super close to them all.

The older boys have their own homes/families/partners but I still see them loads and in fact both of them also work with me, albeit in different areas.

I am also really lucky to have fabulous relationships with both of my older boys partners too.

Boy or girl it really doesn’t matter, loving and nurturing them for who they are is all that is important.

Congratulations x

WhenPushComesToShove · 15/10/2022 20:34

I adore my boys and they adore me. They both have wonderful girls in their lives and I feel so grateful to be included often. I never wanted to be the intrusive mother in law so I tend to stand back and give them space but they do invite themselves over for dinner regularly and pop in for coffee /chat, etc whenever they feel like it.